life drama
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
I first learned of the HALT acronym when I joined Alcoholics Anonymous many years ago. In hindsight, had I applied its simple, yet powerful technique, I might have avoided several slips along the path to my sobriety. I also realize now that the HALT concept is an integral part of loving ourselves, and it thus assists us more on our spiritual path to greater serenity.
HALT is an acronym for:
H – Never get too Hungry
A – Never get too Angry
L – Never get too Lonely
T – Never get too Tired
During one of my heavy drinking episodes, many years ago, I was working a job which required me to be away from home constantly. I was working extensive and erratic hours with a team of co-workers who were all heavy drinkers.
At this time I was subject to everything in the HALT scenario. I was often hungry, because we were pretty much on call to travel anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice. I never knew when I would next be able to eat. In hindsight, I guess I could have been better prepared with personal emergency provisions, but we were always promised that the next trip wouldn’t be so grueling.
I was also constantly angry at the company for exploiting me. The amount of erratic and long hours we slaved was not what we had signed up for.
Turning Inward To See What’s Going On Outside
We often lose our way when we look to the outer world for direction. Relationships, people, places, things, careers, education and events cannot fully guide us on our delegated path of destiny. When we disassociate from the starkly remarkable and precise direction of the inner world, we veer off course. With an external focus we become confused and fearful about our footing and our particular place in the universe.
The outer world is an ever-evolving, unreliable mirage, without boundaries and purposeful meaning. It merely reflects conditions; it does not detect. In other words, the outer world is an outward expression of an inner nebulous experience of desire for permanency. Giving credence and value to it unnecessarily, as a separate functioning entity, brings elevated perplexity and condescending despair.
Things occur for reasons incomprehensible to us. Though we go to great lengths to add our unsolicited opinions, and smear our unjustified ignorant remarks so callously, the truth remains, while the rest falls away. Nothing we say or do can change one iota of what is to be.
We are not now, nor will we ever be, greater than the Tao that sustains us. It matters not what one relates, refers and registers this sacred energy as (god, universal spirit, nitrogen), the impersonal movement requires no acknowledgment to carry out supreme super structural force and intent. In other words, we will not be consulted on the sublime activities which occur in our lives without consent or confirmation.
Connecting With Deceased Loved Ones
When a loved one dies, it is never easy. It is always traumatic to lose someone who we have lived with, taken care of, loved and nurtured – be it a partner, spouse, parent, sibling, relative or friend. The feeling of them suddenly no longer being here can be devastating. Even their little quirks, which sometimes annoyed you when they were alive, is forever missed. We suddenly miss everything about them!
Thankfully, the spirit of those we love remain very much alive after their passing. Despite the ‘vehicle they drove around in,’ namely their physical body, may no longer be around, their spirit is still around. They can hear and see us, and they can feel our emotions.
I can tell you that when we call our loved one’s name, they are with us. When we pray for them, they appreciate it. Greatly. The two best things you can do is pray for your loved ones and say their name out loud. Continue to talk to them. And when you talk to them, they respond through sending you thoughts and signs. They also come to us in the dream state when we are sleeping. Write them a letter and put it under your pillow, and try to remember your astral travels the next day.
Your loved ones are never far from you. Love is the energy that keeps us connected with our loved ones. Sometimes they will give you a little visit. Remember to ask and you shall receive. Knock and that door will open.
Be Patient And Trust The Process
Life presents many challenges to each of us. Even those people who you think have lucky ‘horseshoes’ and ‘rainbows’ over them, have their own challenges, just like you and me. However, it is how they choose to deal with adversity that makes the real difference in their ‘fortunate’ lives. Their choice of reaction, or non-reaction, to each setback or negative event in their life, is what creates their ‘luck.’
If your life seems to be suffering from a lot of ‘bad luck’ lately, take another look at how you reacted to your last break-up, loss of a job, lack of finances, or not manifesting your dreams. Are you that person who chooses to sulk, complain and be envious of the success of others… or are you the person that knows that challenges are just side-steps towards what you are going to achieve for yourself?
Your perception, or the way you look at life, is what makes or breaks us in the end. That person who seems to have everything you desire, did not get there because they were ‘lucky.’ They arrived where they are because they believed, and they worked hard on what was important to them.
When that job didn’t come in that they wanted, they didn’t get upset or discouraged,. They didn’t give up and think they were not good enough. They stood back up, shook it off. They accepted that they didn’t get that job because something far better was probably in store for them down the road. It often is that simple.
Purity Of Purpose – The Enigma Of Our Soul’s Journey
None of us really know what we are doing. Though we go about our days with full intent, saturated purpose and determined objectives, the real sublime reason why we are motivated to act remains hidden from view. We awake in the morning with a concentrated objective, having calculated the outcome and minimized the barriers.
We proceed as if what we will achieve has something to do with us. So much so, we either take blame for the mishaps, or bask in the glory of the success. Neither response is accurate, or appropriate. We think we know what we are doing, but we do not. We never know. We only project, and in those projections, we are wrong.
There’s much more to the picture left unseen, than seen. So much is hidden from view. It’s simply amazing how we go about our days denying how much crucial information we don’t have access to. We work with what we see in an obscured partial light, but we attack the problems as if we have all the goods available.
The truth is, our present knowledge and insight, no matter how much we may have paid for expert guidance, is always limited and biased. Yet, we continue to make all of these unnecessary plans and believe that unless they unfold exactly and precisely as we have ordered or constructed, we have in some way failed to accomplish our preset goals.
Moving On After A Relationship Breakup
I sometimes have clients who are struggling to move past a recent break-up, or they want to know if they will get back together with an ex. Focusing on the past, by wanting to go back to a happier time, or a relationship that left us sad when it ended, prevents us from living fully in the present. And this may be blocking your path to true happiness.
On the flip side, sometimes the universe will block your forward movement, because you are not truly ready for it. If you need to go through a period of grieving the past, do so in the healthiest way by looking towards the future.
The next chapter for you will be richer if you focus on the path ahead, be it with your ex in a new realm, or someone new. Just know the energy that you give out when you are stuck in the past does not welcome new relationships into your life – at least not healthy ones.
No one wants to go through the pain, sadness or loneliness of a breakup. In my mid-20’s I ended a very serious five year relationship. He had already bought the ring. I knew we were close to making a bigger commitment, but he had broken my trust many times in the relationship.
So, as I looked towards a future with him, I knew I no longer wanted to continue. The relationship ended abruptly and all contact with him was severed, like a death. As I look back I realize it had to end this way, as the relationship was only going in one direction, and I no longer wanted it, even though I still deeply cared for him.
Protect Your Energy From Toxic People
It is vital to protect ourselves energetically from toxic, negative people. It is essential to our health and well-being. To one degree or another we’ve all have experienced negative, toxic people. These people are sometimes easy to detect, but not always.
The most typical scenario I have encountered is the unkind or rude family member, or distant relative. These are also the most difficult to dealt with, because we often time have no choice but to spend time with them at family events and gatherings. Usually we feel we have no choice in the matter, bit this is actually not true. We do have a choice.
We don’t have to attend every family event. If you know the toxic person is going to be there, you simply don’t have to rise to the occasion. Stop feeling guilty for not attending. Of course, there are usually other family members who make you feel like you have to be there. “It just won’t be Christmas without you,” they might say. But what it really comes down to is your personal well-being. Sure, you may only have to absorb their negative energy once or twice a year, but just like once you have heard something disturbing you can’t ‘unhear’ it, once you have had the experience it is now a part of your memories.
I prefer to be proactive when it comes to managing my energy. And we do have the right to decide who we choose to spend time with, or not. I prefer spending time with those relatives and friends who are compassionate and kind, instead of those who lack tact, are rude, cruel and inconsiderate. I prefer to avoid those who think their opinions are fact, and who are constantly dropping poison upon others with their negative comments. Not okay. Not ever.