Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father
My father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.
But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.
Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.
Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.
I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.
One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!
By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.
I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.
My Symptoms Of Spiritual Awakening
I often get questions about spiritual awakening. Is it real, and how do you know if you are experiencing it? There are many different lists of ascension symptoms available online, but it is no easy task to know which is more accurate or reliable.
In my opinion Karen Bishop’s list is the best. She wrote that “we all experience our spiritual development in our own unique way. For some of us the changes occur slowly; for others a series of events can trigger sudden growth. We do not all share the same symptoms or changes”. I therefore can’t account for all of the symptoms, but I am going to share some of the experiences I’ve personally had as a psychic. I am not listing these things in any particular order, as I can’t remember what I noticed happening first.
Feeling Disoriented
I had no sense of direction. I found my way around the city, not by knowing which the north end is and which is the south, but because I have gotten lost so many times! Every time I left my house I got lost. I live right off the main street that divides the city. Everything is either North or South. If you are one block north, then the addresses will all be in a certain range, and vice versa. Simple enough. But, by the time I would realize I was going the wrong way, I would turn off, turn around and proceed in the opposite direction. Only to find out that I have continued on in still the wrong direction. I think my record was four times in a row!
Unusual Aches And Pains
I experienced physical discomforts that for us women are often simply chalked up as ‘menstrual’. The pains were usually in the lower back and neck area. For me, it felt as though someone is pushing on my head so hard they are compressing my neck.
Leave Some Space For Grace
When I read energy, it is shown to me in terms of the strength of that energy. In other words, the strength of the energy is directly tied to its manifestation here in the physical realm. As above, so below.
When we are angry or in conflict, we are often heavily invested in simply being right. And the more the argument evolves… the more virulent the energy becomes. This is never a hopeful, healthy precursor to manifesting better things in our life.
Fortunately, there is the powerful spiritual and emotional energy that love and forgiveness can also manifest in our lives, to counteract the impact of negative emotional energies.
A sister to the energies of love and forgiveness that is not always afforded equal honor, bit is equally powerful is the gift of grace. You may have heard of ‘grace under pressure?’ Essayist William Hazlitt defines grace as “the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.”
So, what is grace? Webster’s Dictionary defines grace as both a noun and a verb. Noun: unmerited favor, kindness undeserved. Verb: to confer dignity or honor on, or to add beauty to.
Grace is the ‘breath’ we take between anger and forgiveness. It is a choice to be silent, hold our tongue, and open the door for peace to enter into a challenging situation.
Angels naturally possess infinite grace, and many times the angels I work with have to remind me to hold my tongue, think before I speak, and simply be silent and listen to the person I am angry with. Being heard even if we are not understood is very validating. It says to the other person, “you are important to me, what you are feeling and thinking matters to me”. What you give you will receive.
Nagging Thoughts Are Life Lessons
Sometimes I do it too – we all do it. We sit there and rehash stuff in our minds…over and over. We beat ourselves up and say things like, “If only I would have done this”, or “If only I had not said that”.
This kind of thinking really is a waste of time. It can be very draining to sit and analyze things gone by and worry about the past.
Of course, it is certainly better to move with some discernment and caution, while we are going about our day, so we don’t make unnecessary mistakes or fall victim to this kind of regretful thinking later. But it is also important to know that no one is perfect.
Some go about their days not caring what they do or say, and neither do they ever feel the need to do this kind of obsessive thinking about the past. But the majority of us sometimes wonder if we could have done things differently, or feel the need to hold ourselves accountable for every thought, word, action and deed – and that is why we tend to go over things, time and time again.
When you find yourself engaging in this kind of thinking, just stop doing it. Thoughts that just replay events over and over again in your mind is such a waste of energy. Instead consider for a minute how the relevant events are actually a wonderful learning experience.
Those thoughts are there, bugging you, as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself what you will do or say differently next time, and then you can go about the rest of your day with inner peace and comfort, knowing you that you have gained valuable new knowledge from the experience, and now you can turn it into wisdom for the future. People who learn from themselves and their actions can truly smile, knowing that they can ‘cruise’ along this cosmic wave called life at a higher altitude and higher level of thinking.
The Universe Knows If You Just Need Your Hair Brushed
A spiritual teacher and metaphysical writer was waiting to board a plane. She had a spiritual book in her lap and was very intent upon what she was reading, until she felt summoned by Spirit to look up. When she did, she saw such a strange sight she had to try to keep from staring.
Humped over in a wheelchair she saw an elderly man. He was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones.
The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy, gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long and clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.
Beth looked down at her book as fast as she could, discomfort burning in her face, and tried to imagine what his story might be. She found herself wondering if she had just had a Howard Hughes sighting, but then she remembered that he is dead.
So, who was this man in the airport…an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on them somewhere, she wondered. There she sat; trying to concentrate on her book, to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from her. All the while, her heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling of concern for him. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, but suddenly Beth was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre looking man.
She had worked with Spirit long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. Beth had learned that when she began to feel what the universe feels, something contrary to her natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen…and it may be embarrassing. She immediately began to resist and started arguing with Spirit in her mind. “Oh, no, Spirit, please no,” she thought, but asked, “What are you calling me to do?”
Astrology Forecast April 4 – 10, 2022
Today’s Taurus Moon can go either way. It could instill a sense of peace and contentment, no matter what is going on around us, or it can lead us down a rabbit hole of frustration, conflict and drama. Starting the day off with a centered, calm and focused approach will be the key to a peaceful, happier Monday.
First of all, be careful to not pick a fight with your beloved this morning under the Taurus Moon square Mars in Aquarius, followed by a square with Saturn in Aquarius, as these two squares can cause a small disagreement or argument to escalate easily and quickly to full-blown drama and conflict – which is not the best way to start the new week!
By the time we get to the office today, the Mars in Aquarius conjunction with Saturn in Aquarius may be causing some frustration with its clash of total opposites. The driven impatience of Mars does not sit well with the measured, controlled timing of Saturn. If you are the impulsive, hasty type it may be best for you to count to ten…or even take a walk around the block to calm and center yourself.
Venus, the planet that rules Taurus as well as Libra, will move into the spiritually-focused sign of Pisces tomorrow, taking us on a journey to explore our truest passions and desires over the next four weeks. We will generally be more loving, kind and compassionate in the coming weeks.
Wednesday’s Gemini Moon promotes romance as well as partnerships of all kinds, as we long to communicate our deepest thoughts and feelings to others.
The rest of the week unfolds under a Cancer Moon through Saturday, drawing us to daydream, fantasize and imagine our futures from the comfort of our armchairs, exploring the possibilities that lie ahead.
The Moon will dance into Leo on Sunday, and combined with Mercury’s move into Taurus, inspire us to take action on those creative ideas we’ve been having. Mercury, ruler of Gemini and Virgo, is famous for taking our thoughts to the next level when it travels through the sign of Taurus, which it will for the next two and a half weeks.
Discovering My Supernatural Heritage At Grandma’s
Sometime around the year 1967 my parents told me one day that I was going over to grandmother’s house so that she could watch me while they were going somewhere for the day. I begged them not to take me there, because the place was haunted. I felt like something was always watching me at that house… and it was not my grandmother! But my parents told me my cousin Alan was going to be there too, and I would have someone to play with. So I reluctantly agreed.
When we pulled up my aunt and uncle were just driving off, so at least I knew my cousin was there and we could play with our trucks. When I walked in there was a little girl beside my cousin. My grandmother introduced her as Sally. She also watched Sally while her mom and dad went to work.
While my cousin and I where playing, Sally was happily playing all by herself. She was talking to an imaginary friend and they were playing with her dolls. At lunchtime I remember feeling like someone was tickling me at the table. Sally told me that I was sitting in her friend’s chair and asked me to move.
There was an empty chair across from me and I asked Sally why her friend could not just go and sit over there? Then I felt something pulling on my ear really hard, and I jumped! I quickly moved over to the other chair. I looked at my cousin, but he didn’t say a word. He just looked at me with his eyes really wide open.
When my grandmother returned to the kitchen, I told her that I wanted to go home. I wanted to call my mom and dad to pick me up. But she had just finished talking to my mom, who asked for me to spend the night at my grandmother’s. They would pick me up the next day. I was not impressed.
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