self-acceptance
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are:
Let Your Authentic Self Shine
Most people at some point change something about ourselves in the hope of being better liked or accepted by others. Whether it’s a group of friends, a potential romantic partner, or the manager at work, there is constant pressure to conform and fit in. But in the long run, does this help? The truth is: it really doesn’t.
The notion of simply being your authentic self is challenging in an era where everyone seems to be seeking approval and attention. Therefore, the authentic self or the true version of our soul is something one hardly sees in the digital era of social media, influencers, likes, and followers.
However, we may think that a person we see online is someone others won’t like. Maybe our internal critic sees that person as ‘too much’ of something or ‘not enough’ of another. But we are often mistaken, as someone being true to themselves and keeping it real is what most people are spontaneously drawn to.
You might feel like you’re the only strange person at work, or the black sheep of your family, but you’re not the only one. There are thousands of ‘odd’ people out there right now with the same doubts as you!
The old saying ‘there’s a lid for every pot’ is always good to keep in mind. Your authentic self is just what someone else has been looking for. If you feel you don’t fit in with the crowd, take a step back and ask yourself whether you truly want to be part of it anyway? Knowing your true value and finding the things most important to you, will help determine who you want to surround yourself with.
It’s also important to set healthy boundaries. If you feel peer pressured into joining a group, or liking something simply to fit in, ask yourself if this is true to your core. Does it resonate with your authentic self?
Learning To Truly Be With Yourself
A fellow psychic encouraged me many years ago in a reading to be ‘with myself’ and not just ‘by myself.’ There was a difference she explained, as this was a process of getting to know our own true essence. But being yourself can be an uncomfortable pathway for introspection! It is a lot easier to distract yourself with work, entertainment, chores, socializing and all the other ways we tend to divert our attention away from looking within.
A wise client told me recently that it was during the recent pandemic lockdowns that her journey towards true self-love really began. My clients are often my most important teachers, as they prompt me at times to look deeper into a situation.
She had been going through intense periods of intense reminiscing, especially regarding relationships. Most of her flashbacks related to two significant past relationships which, after investing so much of herself, had not worked out.
One of her partners just didn’t want to commit and was wrapped up in a materialistic obsession of striving to achieve business success. The other, whom she loved very much, left her for another woman.
Ironically, after years of loneliness and looking for ways to fill that void, this ex she whom she used to love so much, recently got back in touch with her. Apparently, he wants to be a part of her life again, once he´s finally sorted out his disastrous relationship with the woman he left her for.
But she now feels she has healed, forgiven him, and truly fallen in love with her own company, and therefore she wouldn’t want him in her space too much, and that any future moments they do spend together will be on her terms.
She has nailed it when it comes to truly being ‘with yourself,’ instead of lonely ´by yourself.’
The True Meaning Of Inner Peace
What does the word ‘peace’ mean to you? Well, the true meaning of this word came to me recently in an unusual way, while I was doing a psychic reading.
The client I was reading for told me at one point in our conversation that he was finally “at peace.” All of a sudden, I felt as if I was sucked into a time warp. When he said the word peace in that context, it was like my own past went into this time machine and emerged in the present. It felt to me as if spirit was using this client’s words to get my attention about my own personal life.
In recent years things have been difficult in my own family life, especially around Christmas, because I have not seen my son in many years. It has been challenging for me and everyone around me.
I made the classic mistake. We tend to think that if we focus very hard on avoiding something negative, we might block it or prevent it from entering our life. We believe this is the best way to control the outcome of what could happen to us in the future. Ironically, this is often the reason why we attract more negative things into our lives.
We also tend to think that ‘being at peace’ only means to eliminate and overcome stress in our lives. Or we think it merely helps us to sleep better. I have always known that if I try to live in a more a stress-free world in my own mind, I would feel better about my life in general. But I never considered peace to be a tool to use for finding a better way to deal with not seeing my son.
In life we have many potholes to avoid and many mountains to climb, and if we look to truly have peace in our life we need to come to place of deeper acceptance and letting go, instead of merely trying to be stress-free. True inner peace is a powerful medicine that everyone can use every day.
Stop Blocking Yourself!
Have you ever felt like your life is just going nowhere, or you can’t connect emotionally to another person? At these times there is always one thing after another, and events in your life simply don’t seem to ‘gel’, or go right. Maybe you can’t get the job you want, or you are lonely.
There are so many barriers we have to deal with, but there is a way to overcome all of this. The best way to do it is by truly knowing yourself – through self-discovery – and by letting go of people and material things that hold you back.
So many times we invest so much wasted energy in people-pleasing. Instead of constantly trying to please others, we could use this time to live a happier life, with greater more spiritual awareness, which will in turn make us much more useful in our service to others. Instead we spend so much time thinking about things we may have done wrong, the wrong others have done to us and regretting what we could have done differently
When we try and reason about our mistakes it just leads to anguish, because we have a lack of faith – faith in God and in ourselves. But, if we go before the thrown of God and get on bended knees, we will find that inner peace, grace and forgiveness that so many people venture off to far of places, looking to find. That inner peace and joy is always there and available, we just have to look up!
Also, we are concerning ourselves too much with the things of the world, putting too much value on financial success and material possessions. These can become obstacles that keep us from connecting with those we love, or want to love. It is pure self-sabotage.
The Spiritual Aspect Of Physical Ailments
As a medical Reiki master and teacher, I have come to understand that there is often a spiritual aspect to almost every illness, pain or symptom that comes up in the physical body. When we are not in alignment with our spiritual self, it can create imbalances in many aspects of our health and wellness.
Note that I always recommend seeking and following professional medical advice. Despite the possible underlying metaphysical and spiritual aspects of any illness or disease, you must never assume that the intervention of a registered medical practitioner is not needed. Always seek medical advice if you are not feeling well, and do not stop using whatever medication and treatments have been prescribed for you without consulting your doctor. It could save your life.
What I can however recommend is to supplement your conventional medical treatment with energy work and other spiritual healing practices. The Eastern practice of Reiki is something you can use effectively to compliment your western medicine treatment.
Reiki is an energy healing modality that brings our chi into alignment. Chi is the energy of life itself. It is an electromagnetic energy which flows through everything in creation. Reiki brings the chi of the body, mind, and spirit back into alignment and can reveal which areas need to be worked on, or released, or simply acknowledged.
Here are a few examples of common spiritual meanings behind some of our ailments. Headaches are often associated with self-criticism and fear. They are also a source of feeling invalidated in some way and often aimed at the self. The solution is to start affirming how amazing you are, how divinely perfect you are, how much you love yourself. The best affirmation you can say is:
I love myself unconditionally. I am perfectly perfect as I am.