relationship
Successful Relationships Begin With Self-Love
How do you ensure your relationship will work long-term? Many callers ask me this question almost every day. In my experience, there needs to be a balance of love, caring, respect and truth for any relationship to last. If you do not have these components in a relationship, more than likely it will not work out. If a relationship is out of balance, then it usually is too one-sided and not serving your highest good.
The key first step is to love and respect yourself, because when you love and respect yourself, you will also receive more love and respect from others. There is not much of a future for any relationship that is based on the self-sacrifice of one party. It never lasts and typically does not end well. Balance is required in matters of the heart.
Along with the respect you deserve in the way you are treated. it is loving, caring, and respectful? This is applicable to everyone in your life, including romantic partners, friends, co-workers, family, and relatives.
Respect is not only something we must demand, but we must also set boundaries for it in our daily life. When a boundary is repeatedly disregarded or violated by someone in your life, then something needs to change. This is when you have to say, enough.
Sometimes the hard decisions need to be made. If someone is not respecting you in your relationship, treating you poorly, and not meeting your most essential wants and needs, then it is time to make a change. Respect yourself enough to end it.
Too many people do not believe they deserve love and respect, for various reasons. The problem often begins in childhood. It is important to realize you do and to start loving yourself a little more – not in an egotistical way, but in a way that you love and respect yourself enough to want only the best for you and to no longer settle for anything less.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
Energetic DNA
When I am reading for a client, and we are evaluating either a personal or a business relationship, I always ask for the first name of the individual or name of the business, as well as when the relationship began.
With this information I am able to see the client’s energy and then the separate, but very distinct energy, almost like a fingerprint, of the other people involved or attached to the client. The link becomes clear.
More importantly the strength of energetic pattern is revealed, and whether it is detrimental or constructive, supportive or invasive, positive or negative. I call this ‘energetic DNA.’
Positive energy left in our field enhances and strengthens us. It uplifts and encourages us, building our confidence, opening our minds and expanding our hearts. On the other hand negative energy does exactly the opposite.
When we are involved in any type of relationship, be it business or personal, family or friend, energetic DNA is always present. It is actively leaving a positive of negative mark on our energy field and can impact our daily lives in very powerful ways.
It’s extremely important to be aware of how the energetic DNA present in a relationship has affected us, or the future impact it may have. Love, family, money – these are all very important aspects of our lives. Who we bring into our hearts, our minds, or business can be the difference between happiness and heartbreak, peace or chaos, success or failure.
The Key To Finding True Love
How do I find true, long-lasting love? This is a question I get in many readings, almost every day. True love is indeed a very special, rare miracle. Most people try to find it, but many fail.
I believe the solution is already within all of us, we just need to look inside to find it. Yes, the answer to finding true love is already inside you!
What you need to consider carefully is how much do you love yourself? If the answer is ‘not so much’ or ‘not enough,’ then you need to ask yourself why?
You see, many people do not love themselves enough to feel they actually deserve love. And if we do not believe we deserve love, then we will also not find it. We can only manifest in our life what we resonate with.
Believing that you deserve love simply begins with loving yourself first. When we finally put out of our mind all the self-doubt and lack of self-worth, it changes our mind set to believing we deserve to be happy and to be wholeheartedly loved by others. Then we can move forward by becoming an energy frequency match to finally attracting that someone special.
It all starts is with you. Anyone can achieve and find love, but unconditional self-love is the only viable beginning of that journey. Without self-love and self-acceptance, not other love can survive, much less succeed.
An important byproduct of authentic self-love is that it clarifies your actual wants and needs, and your personal strengths and shortcomings. These are important to know for yourself, as it sets the scene for all your other relationships. Is the person I am dating right for me? You will not know that if you do not know yourself.
Transmuting Enemy Energy
Some clients ask for readings about people they think of as their enemies, and I’ve seen certain commonalities with this over the years. In these relationships there are typically an energy pattern that has formed to create a dynamic of mistrust, tension, and resentment.
One of the most prevalent issues I have noticed in terms of long-standing resentment or hatred towards another, is that both parties usually consider themselves the ‘victim,’ and that the other person is always in their mind the one who is in the wrong.
When you take it a level deeper, you usually find there was an initial intense or significant energy when these two people first met – be it a lover, friend, or work associate. It is usually a conflicting energy that sets the tone for their future ‘vibe’ with each other.
This initial energy has a resistance to it and eventually takes on a life of its own, separate from the two conflicting parties. Peel away the layers of this ‘enemy energy demon’ and you come to find it is essentially comprised of nothing more than simple fear.
Also, this enemy demon resists the idea of resolution and will not accept its own demise. It will do whatever it can to stay alive, and it feeds off the emotions anger, fear, and sadness. I believe this is what may be responsible for some suicides, violence, acts of terrorism, mass corruption, and others evil we see in the world.
There is never an excuse for violence. If someone is attacking or harming another person, safety and protection come first. Recovering from trauma is not typically something that happens quickly. However, when we are better informed about what is behind the behavior patterns of those who hate us, we can better see to the root of the disease.
Belief Is The Key To Manifesting
Is there something you want to happen, or something you desire, want or need? Put it out to the Universe as a request for what you want to happen in your life. But the key is to believe. If you do not believe it can happen for you, it most likely will not happen…because you are standing in the way of it happening.
Many people sabotage their own manifesting process because they do not believe they deserve to be happy. I have seen this happen so many times. But everyone deserves to be happy.
Things can change in your life. You just need to set the intention, take some practical steps to make it happen, and most of all trust the process and believe.
When you are in alignment with the abundance of the Universe and you trust that it will provide for you always, then it all starts to fall into place. Manifesting begins and ends with believing in the laws of the Universe.
For manifesting to truly work one must have the sincere, unquestioning faith of a child. Young children have the uncanny ability to wholeheartedly believe even the most impossible things!
If we had just a little more of the open-minded belief of children, our lives would be so much happier and more fulfilled. It is not about being naïve, but about being open and accepting.
If we do not trust the Universe to provide for us, we tend to repeat the same mistakes time and again. Instead of setting a clear intention for what they want to be different or better in their life, many people we just keep on manifesting the same old energy repeatedly.
For example, they break up with someone who they felt was not right for them, but then they start dating someone else who is exactly the same. They continue in the same pattern and repeat the cycle of continuous heartbreak, over and over – instead of saying I want to be with someone who treats me better, and work towards that.
It Will Happen When The Time Is Right
Most psychics find it almost impossible to read for themselves, or for friends and relatives. It is difficult to remain objective in readings for people who are very close to us. It is therefore common practice for psychics to read for each other when the need arises.
Many years ago my psychic mentor and I were trading readings. During my reading she told me I would one day have to choose between two men. Of course, I am like everyone else and so I wanted to know when it would happen?
As a professional psychic reader I knew from personal experience that the prediction of the timing for events is really hard to do. But I still wanted it to happen right then and there! I was less experienced then and obviously had a lot to learn. I don’t have patience at all, but sometimes in life you are made to learn important life lessons.
It took over a decade, but my mentor’s prediction finally happened. Yes, ten years later these two men were finally both in my life, just as she had forecasted they would!
Doing psychic readings professionally I am often asked during a reading, “When exactly is so-and-so going to contact me.” Then, if that contact doesn’t come quick enough, there comes the stress and fears. This can cause a bigger misunderstanding, thinking that commutation won’t ever happen. To make matters worse, timing is especially difficult to predict when a person doesn’t have patience or doesn’t give things time to happen.
If you really think about it, would it really be so much easier or better to have everything that we want happen right away? If so, will we be truly ready for it, and will we also appreciate the good things we already do have in our lives?