inner truth
The Self-Affirming Power Of Saying No
Are you the kind of person who has a hard time saying “no,” even when your heart isn’t in it?
Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing others, afraid they’ll distance themselves, or afraid they’ll stop liking you if you say no. Maybe your introverted side just wants to be liked and accepted by everyone, so you agree to things – even if it drains you.
I’ve experienced this myself and seen it happen to many people who come to me and ask, “How can I say no without feeling guilty?” or “If I don’t say yes, will I lose my connection with this person?
Saying “yes” out of fear, guilt, or obligation may be the easy way out in many situations, but it usually comes at a high cost to your personal and spiritual well-being.
Let’s acknowledge something important: You are enough just the way you are, and you are worthy of peace, joy and happiness. If someone truly values you, they’ll respect your boundaries, even if it means saying “no” once in a while.
On the other hand, if people cut you off because you set boundaries, they may not have been the healthiest presence in your life to begin with. True friends and meaningful relationships will respect your choices and understand your reasons without demanding constant explanations.
Over time, I’ve seen the toll that over-commitment takes. People who constantly say “yes” often end up feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even resentful. Some develop physical and mental health problems because they feel trapped by the constant need to please others. In some cases, burnout and depression set in, all because saying no felt like an impossible task.
Karmic Healing: Can You Handle The Truth?
In the famous courtroom drama A Few Good Men, Jack Nicholson’s character, Colonel Jessup, exclaims in an iconic movie moment, “You can’t handle the truth!”
I suspect this scene has become legendary in movie history because it resonates so deeply with most people. On some level, many of us sometimes struggle to face the truth about ourselves and our lives.
Whether it’s difficult memories, unhealed wounds, failed relationships, or unspoken regrets, facing our truth can be challenging, even traumatic or overwhelming.
Yet, from a spiritual perspective, facing and owning our truth is one of the most powerful steps we can take on our path to karmic healing and soul growth.
Our soul journey is a karmic balancing act in which the energy we put out into the world eventually comes back to us. When we hide from our truth – whether through denial, justification or avoidance – we accumulate karmic debt.
Like a heavy boulder that we carrry around, karmic debt hinders our soul growth and spiritual progress. On the other hand, when we consciously choose to face our truth, we release this burden and open ourselves to healing, growth, fulfillment and inner peace.
Denial is our most common response to unpleasant truths. We tend to avoid acknowledging aspects of ourselves that we find unattractive, justify our negative behaviors, and make excuses for our bad choices and failures in order to protect our fragile human egos. However, these “untruths” build up over time. By avoiding them, we create layers of illusion that distance us from who we really are and cloud our understanding of our soul purpose and the divine spark within.
Embrace Who You Are And Shine Your Light!
We all come to this planet with our own unique gifts. Just as no one on this planet has the same fingerprint as you, no one has your unique personality, talents and life purpose. Sure, some of us may look alike, but our soul essence and life purpose is completely unique from one person to the next.
And in a world that often emphasizes conformity and sameness, it’s also important to remember this spiritual truth: Your uniqueness is not a quirk; it’s your superpower!
I often feel sad when I see young people on social media copying each other or trying to be just like everyone else. Of course, they want to fit in and be accepted, and they fear being rejected by their peers. Unfortunately, this struggle is not limited to the younger generation. It seems that many adults are also caught up in the senseless hamster wheel of imitation and keeping up with the Joneses.
I once asked a girl who was imitating her friend why she wanted to be a copy of someone else. I reminded her, “You are gifted and a very talented artist. At first she was taken aback, but after a few moments I felt a spark of understanding in her. Then she looked at me and said, “Oh my God, you’re so right!” She, like so many others, needed a reminder of her inherent worth and unique individuality.
Each of us comes to this planet to share our special light in our own unique way. If more children were told from a young age how special they are and had their gifts nurtured by their parents and teachers, perhaps we would live in a much safer, happier and more compassionate world. Instead, I see so many folks yearning to fit in rather than embracing their individual paths and personal gifts.
Always Choose Your Gut Over Your Heart And Mind
We all have a higher purpose in this lifetime, and yet many never awaken to it, much less achieve it, because their ego has become more prominent in their lives than their higher self.
How do you know if what you are doing is for your highest good? How do you make sure you are aligned with your soul purpose? How do you know if what you want out of life is based on your worldly desires instead of your spiritual mission in this lifetime?
Well, you listen to your inner guidance. You trust your intuition. You follow your gut.
When you were born, a deep-seated dream was placed within you. As children we are often more in touch with our true calling or purpose, but many of us lose that awareness as we grow older. Unfortunately, it has been buried by the expectations of society and the many distractions of the material world.
Often our parents, peers, teachers, and mentors play a significant role in this process of shutting down our spiritual awareness. Has anyone ever laughed at you when you told them what you wanted to do or be? Did someone say, “Go back and think about that because it will never happen”? Each of us has a different story as to why we do or don’t achieve our dreams in life.
Today is the day to decide, “I will achieve my dreams as long as they come from the spirit and are for my highest good.” It is time to look at your dreams for your life from a deeper perspective.
How To Embrace Your Shadow Self
Most people tend to shy away from acknowledging their dark or “shadow” side when it comes to spirituality.
In fact, the tendency to avoid the uncomfortable aspects of the self is due in large part to our religious or spiritual background. Throughout history, most traditions have encouraged people to suppress, deny, or transcend their human flaws and shortcomings in favor of higher ideals such as purity, salvation, or enlightenment.
This reluctance to face the shadow within continues to this day, with modern spiritual and metaphysical communities often favoring light, love, and positivity while largely ignoring the messy, difficult, and painful aspects of the human experience.
But by avoiding the shadow within, we deny ourselves the opportunity for a deeper understanding of our soul’s purpose and untapped possibilities for personal and spiritual growth.
According to Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist who pioneered the concept of the “shadow” in psychology, “one is not enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Enlightenment isn’t about avoiding the shadow. Instead, it’s about facing it and integrating it into our being.
When we face the shadow within, we reclaim parts of ourselves that hold immense power, creativity, and insight. By delving into the deeper truths of our shadow selves, we can unravel the unconscious patterns that dictate our lives, allowing for true healing, transformation, and enlightenment.
Always Stay True To Your Soul Path And Purpose
Visiting a nursing home or retirement community and interacting with the residents can be a life-changing experience!
I recently had the opportunity to interact with a group of seniors and one of the things I asked them was, “If you could go back in time and start over, what would you do differently?”
To my surprise, the biggest regret most of them have is that they wish they had been more true to themselves and lived their lives their own way instead of pleasing others. One lady says she realizes she should have followed the original path her soul intended for her, instead of trying to live up to the expectations of others.
Another lady recalls how her life was shattered when a man she loved dearly and had devoted her life to unexpectedly left her to be with someone else. She said that was the day she realized she had wasted so much time putting her own dreams and goals on hold to make someone else the focus of her life. If she could go back in time, she would have handled this relationship very differently. In fact, she would probably never have gotten involved with him in the first place! “Never live for someone else, that is what I have learned,” she said.
Some of the regrets seemed heavy and intense. Some realize that too much time has passed and they cannot undo the choices they have made. There are potential joys and opportunities for personal and spiritual fulfillment that are now forever out of reach. One gentleman added that while there is much wisdom and truth in the saying “it’s never too late,” there are also the practical realities of aging and “missed deadlines” for some things in life.
Understanding The Higher Self
In modern spirituality and metaphysics, the concept of the “higher self” is generally considered a cornerstone of spiritual awareness and conscious living.
The idea that we have a “higher self” is found in many spiritual and mystical traditions, although it may be called by different names and understood in different ways.
Despite these differences, the underlying idea is that there is a higher, more enlightened aspect of our being that we can connect with and embody.
Often mentioned in discussions of intuition, mindfulness, enlightenment, and the search for deeper meaning, the higher self is seen as a guiding force or eternal soure of wisdom that transcends our everyday consciousness.
Yet despite the common use of this term in modern spiritual communities and teachings, there remains a great deal of confusion and variation in how the higher self is understood and interpreted. There are many different opinions and beliefs. Some see it as our inner connection to the divine or universal consciousness. Others see it as the true spiritual essence, free from the limitations of the human ego. And some simply see it as an alternative term for our eternal spirit or soul identity.
In my experience, most of the confusion and misunderstanding arises because the higher self is mistakenly seen as a distinct and separate entity from the soul or spirit. From this perspective, the higher self is seen as entirely separate from our soul, representing our connection to something greater than ourselves, to the divine or universal consciousness.