authenticity
The Transformative Power Of Vulnerability
I find that spirit wants to remind us that vulnerability offers us a special kind of magic in our lives. It is a theme that comes up regularly in psychic readings I do for my clients.
Vulnerability can transform lives, careers, relationships and families in profound ways. But for many of us, life has taught us that being vulnerable is a ‘weakness’ that puts us at risk.
Many of us have built walls around ourselves to protect ourselves because we feel we risk rejection, judgment, or failure if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The ego tells us it’s best not to take those risks at all!
Instead, we harden our hearts and keep our distance, choosing to figure out what others might think, feel or do before we are willing to put ourselves out there in any way.
But by shying away from being open, authentic, and transparent with our thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and desires, we actually block the very outcomes in life that we hope for.
So, how do you get more comfortable opening up and allowing yourself to be authentic and vulnerable? And how does that open you up to the very results you want to manifest in your life?
The Dealbreakers And Dealmakers Of Dating
Dating has changed a lot in recent years, especially with the advent of social media and dating apps. But one thing that has not changed is that most people still want to meet someone special to share their lives with.
I had to venture back into the dating scene myself after my husband passed away several years ago. At first, I had absolutely no interest in meeting someone new, but after a long period of grieving, healing, and self-reflection, I finally realized that I did not want or need to be alone for the rest of my life.
I remember so many people giving me dating and relationship advice after I became a widow. They particularly advised me not to remarry, especially at my age. “Trust me, you don’t need the headaches and drama,” they all said. “You’ll never find someone as good as him,” one predicted. “It’s a toxic war zone out there,” lamented another. Relatives, friends, and even neighbors all had something negative or skeptical to say.
While I appreciated everyone’s concern and well-meant intentions at the time, I decided to stay true to myself and trust my inner guidance. You see, I already knew something they did not.
Spirit revealed to me toward the end of my grieving period that I would eventually meet someone new, but that I would have to take the necessary steps to make it happen. My future partner was not going to miraculously show up at my door. I had to put myself out there to meet him.
Embracing Growth Challenges In Your Relationship
At some point in a romantic relationship, we all face challenges that test our connection with our partner or spouse. People disagree, make mistakes, and experience conflict. It’s human nature.
However, it is important to realize that most problems in a developing relationship are often not inherently negative or catastrophic. Instead, they present valuable opportunities for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery.
If you believe that your happiness in a relationship depends on finding the perfect partner, it’s time for a new perspective. The key to a happy relationship is to remove personal barriers one at a time. By doing so, you can fully immerse yourself in love and become a magnet for attracting the right partner into your life.
Consider the following five common issues that many new couples face and how you can learn from them to foster a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your significant other.
The Happiness Myth
Some people go into a new relationship expecting their partner to bring them the complete state of happiness, joy, and fulfillment they have always sought. But others cannot make us happy, joyful, or fulfilled because achieving this is always an inside job. It starts with us.
From Fictional Self To Authentic Self
A new concept that seems to be going around a lot lately in the spiritual community is to be your ‘authentic self.’ But what does this really mean? How do you know who your authentic self is? Heck, you may say, “I’m still trying to find out what my life purpose is, never mind who I truly am!”
Well, as a result of our education, our upbringing, our family dynamics, our job, and such, when we are asked the question “who are you,” we resort to answers such as: a mom, a dad, engineer, doctor, janitor. We tend to express our identity by what work we do, what credentials we have, and what society or our community has told us to be. We are bombarded by social, political, environmental and family expectations that can overwhelm us in modern life.
On top of this, the world today seems to be in chaos. There is distrust everywhere, and we have to contend with challenges like identity theft and social peer pressure. Yet, we are now also expected to know our authentic self? “God, help me, I don’t have time to look for that! I have the kids to take care of, work deadlines to keep, dinner and laundry to do, and I urgently need to sign up for an exercise program to reduce my weight!”
It is never ending, you say. Your authentic self is somewhere, you just don’t know where and no time to find it. But that is just the point! All these things we are expected to do are there because of the pressure we put on ourselves. As we look through our colored lenses of self-inflicted expectations and the social pressure we have learned from family or peers, we lose touch with who we really are, and what we truly want.
A Spiritual Life Must Be An Authentic Life
While attending a spiritual retreat, my friend, who is also a psychic medium, suddenly said, “You see the woman over there?”
“Yes,” I said. “Who is she? Do you know her?”
“I do,” she replied. “She’s a poser.”
Well, I was not familiar with the term ‘poser,’ so I responded, “What are you talking about? What is a poser?”
She then explained that the woman in question claims to have been a working as a psychic medium for 30 years, with lots of credentials and certifications from different organizations. However, my friend was at another convention just the previous year, where she had met this lady. And at the time, she told my friend that she had only recently discovered that she was psychic!
“That, my friend,” she concluded, “is what I call a ‘poser.”
Well, this was a stark reminder for me. In this ‘post-truth era’ we now live in, it seems anyone can claim to be an expert in anything, as long they can talk a good game. Watching the nightly news just last week, there was a report of a ‘doctor’ who finally got caught after he had been practicing medicine for years without the necessary credentials.
The notions of people being ‘posers’ reminds me of what some of my clients have been saying about online dating apps they have tried. There are many posers on all the social media platforms. People lie about their age, profession, relationship status, and so on. Some also use fake profile photos.
Increase Your Power And Influence With Charisma
Charisma is a skill that can have a profound impact on our personal and professional lives. It is often wrongly assumed that charisma is a personality trait or talent that some people are born with. The truth is charisma is a learned behavior and skill that can be developed by anyone.
Charisma is the magnetic ability to attract, charm, and persuade others with our words and actions. The term originates from the Greek khárisma, which means ‘favor freely given,’ or ‘gift of grace,’ because the ancients believed that possessing this quality was a divine gift bestowed only upon those who were favored by the gods.
It is generally associated with people who are confident, engaging, and influential. By cultivating charisma, we become more effective at reaching and connecting with others, which can be invaluable in life.
Whether we are seeking to build stronger, healthier personal relationships, foster better professional connections, or make more friends, having a strong presence and the ability to engage with others is a key factor for success. Charisma is not about being arrogant, manipulative, or insincere. Rather it is about being authentic and genuine, while also being able to express ourselves in a way that resonates with others.
Charismatic people are skilled communicators who are able to listen actively, empathize with others, and express themselves clearly and persuasively. They are also able to project confidence, enthusiasm, and positivity, which can be infectious and uplifting to those around them.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.