accountability
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.
Only You Can Achieve Your Goals
The indigenous peoples of Canada traditionally believe that those born under the Budding Trees Moon (which occurs in the spring months of mid-March to mid-April) have incredible potential to excel in whatever goals they choose for their life. However, it is also said that some of these blessed individuals may be unwise in their expectations of their own abilities, which may slow their progress, or even prevent them from moving forward at all.
It is further believed that this may also happen if they tell a friend or family member what they are hoping to achieve in life, and them not being supportive. Instead of encouraging them, and expressing their faith in their abilities, they might instead call them an unrealistic dreamer or sceptically say they will believe it when they see it. Yes, sadly, it is usually those who are supposed to be our primary support system in life who tend to not believe in us, and least support our dreams.
There is much wisdom in the teachings of the ancient aboriginal peoples. Yes, we can achieve whatever we set our mind to, and anything is indeed possible, but we must also be mindful of our expectations. It does not matter what the goal itself is; what matters most is our own expectations of being able to achieve it.
If we do not believe in our own abilities to achieve even our most modest goals, we will continuously suffer from self-doubt, feel overwhelmed, and never feel worthy enough.
No matter what we choose to aim for in life, it is simply that: a choice. Your choice. No one can stop you, except yourself, and nobody else can get into your head to put you down, unless you let them. No matter what choice you are making, you must also stand behind it every step of the way.
The Self-Fulfilling Fear Of A ‘Bad Luck Curse’
Some folks who consult with reputable psychics for the first time sometimes believe that the many unfortunate things that have been happening to them is due to some ‘family curse’ or ‘bad luck hex.’ While it may indeed seem like certain people and their families do have more than their fair share of ill-fated things happen to them, sometimes through several generations, this kind of superstition is usually just an overreaction to challenging life events, and too often merely an excuse to avoid personal responsibility for one’s own choices.
An famous example of a so-called family curse is the Kennedy family, who suffered a series of bizarre accidents, premature deaths, assassinations, and various other setbacks and calamities, including several ill-fated romantic relationships that all started out great, but then took a turn for the worse and ended in tragedy and disaster.
Whenever I read for a client who believes they are somehow ‘cursed,’ I always advise them that blaming a so-called ‘curse’ for the challenges and adversities in their life will never solve their problems, nor help them create a better life in the future.
Sometimes people are not ready and open to take an honest look at their own part in creating certain life events through their free will choices and decisions. When a relationship ends badly, for example, it is so much easier and convenient to simply imagine, “Oh, well I am probably cursed in the love department.” Meanwhile, the red flags for this relationship were waving high and bright since the very beginning, but they so desperately wanted a relationship that they ignored the early warning signs.
If we would only listen to our gut, and to the people who truly care about us, we will more often experience the blessing of good fortune, instead of ‘bad luck.’ Spirit always warns us early on when we are making bad life choices and heading for disaster. Some of these messages come courtesy of our intuition and inner guidance, some are revealed to us in dreams, signs, synchronicities and psychic readings, and some warnings reach us through our friends and relatives. Sadly, some people blame everything instead on ‘bad luck’ or ‘curses,’ as they would rather believe they have been cursed than take any personal responsibility by accepting they made a poor choices or decisions.
Nagging Thoughts Are Life Lessons
Sometimes I do it too – we all do it. We sit there and rehash stuff in our minds…over and over. We beat ourselves up and say things like, “If only I would have done this”, or “If only I had not said that”.
This kind of thinking really is a waste of time. It can be very draining to sit and analyze things gone by and worry about the past.
Of course, it is certainly better to move with some discernment and caution, while we are going about our day, so we don’t make unnecessary mistakes or fall victim to this kind of regretful thinking later. But it is also important to know that no one is perfect.
Some go about their days not caring what they do or say, and neither do they ever feel the need to do this kind of obsessive thinking about the past. But the majority of us sometimes wonder if we could have done things differently, or feel the need to hold ourselves accountable for every thought, word, action and deed – and that is why we tend to go over things, time and time again.
When you find yourself engaging in this kind of thinking, just stop doing it. Thoughts that just replay events over and over again in your mind is such a waste of energy. Instead consider for a minute how the relevant events are actually a wonderful learning experience.
Those thoughts are there, bugging you, as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself what you will do or say differently next time, and then you can go about the rest of your day with inner peace and comfort, knowing you that you have gained valuable new knowledge from the experience, and now you can turn it into wisdom for the future. People who learn from themselves and their actions can truly smile, knowing that they can ‘cruise’ along this cosmic wave called life at a higher altitude and higher level of thinking.
The Divine Justice Of Karmic Lessons
We sometimes feel we have been wronged by others in some awful way, and then we wonder if the perpetrators will get their ‘come uppance’ or ‘just deserts.’ We wish to know if divine justice will be served upon them.
Sometimes we are so upset or angry that we would like to see this retribution happen immediately and right before our very eyes. In these emotional moments we are out for revenge and want to see the other person reap what they’ve sown. We believe it may bring us some peace that justice has finally been done.
As a youngster, I often heard my mother refer to it as “The Law of Return,” suggesting that whatever we put out there, both good and bad, will always come back to us. She would say that it always comes back to us tenfold!
There are also spiritual teachings and wisdom traditions that suggest if we don’t learn our lessons and correct our mistakes in this lifetime, it will become karmic in the next. It further suggests that we eventually will experience whatever harm or wrongdoing we have imposed upon others in our own life, sometimes for several lifetimes, until we’ve truly learned our lesson.
So, will others get what’s coming to them for the pain and suffering they have caused us? It’s my experience that this is rarely the case, but from evidential mediumship messages, I am convinced that a life review, when we reach the other side, is inevitable. The soul who has hurt someone else, will be held accountable and will feel what the other person felt very intensely.
I do know from spirit messages that have come through from certain relatives and family members on the other side, that they have relived what I had felt when they were harsh towards in this life. Spirit often comes through with messages of guilt, remorse and regret. The aim is usually to seek healing and forgiveness.
Tune Into The Guidance Of Your Emotions
I believe our emotions are an additional ‘sense’ we use as a means of interpreting our life experiences, in the same way the normal five senses enable us to perceive and understand the world around us. Our ‘emotional sense’ help us make decisions about our preferences all the time.
For example, I love chocolate. My sense of taste tells me that chocolate is for me! It’s a very clear and obvious signal from my taste buds to my brain. We receive and process stimuli all the time and our senses help us to ‘make sense’ of that input.
Your emotions are also giving you information about your preferences and if we listen and pay attention, we can gain a lot of guidance from it. Our emotions don’t just come from nowhere. They arise in direct response to stimuli or input, just like our senses do.
I have also heard emotions described as an internal guidance system, or our inner compass, which helps us decide what we want to create more of, and less of, in our life. We sometimes get confused though, because just like the other senses, we have different preferences.
For example, some people love coconut desserts, but I detest then. Not thanks, keep your coconut out of my chocolate! The thing is, I’m not confused about the fact that I don’t like coconut. I also don’t feel I have to change my preference because other people love coconut. And I also don’t force myself to eat it, just to make other people happy.
When one of our five physical senses tells us something we tend to listen, because it’s visceral. We feel it undeniably in the body. Emotions are no different!
When you are heartbroken, do you not feel it in your chest as a physical pain? When you are embarrassed, do your cheeks or ears not become flushed? Or how about when someone you love hugs you so warm and deliciously, all your muscles just ‘melt’ into that person? These are all physical responses the accompany our emotions.
Will The Aliens Come And Rescue Us?
I don’t know if is due to the havoc that has been happening on our planet in recent months, but lately I have consistently been having an unusual, recurring thought. I have been wondering whether the aliens might be willing to come and rescue us? Unfortunately, my next instinct is usually, I doubt they will!
If we had the opportunity to express our fears and worries to highly-evolved extraterrestrial beings, and ask for their help, how would they respond?
Let’s say we tell them how terrified or confused we have been of this insidious new virus that has been spreading all over our world. Or maybe we would whine and fret over the changing climate, extreme weather patterns, pollution, the plight of the animals, or environmental decline. Or we might lament the many socio-economic hardships, cultural difficulties, psychological suffering and physical pain many of us face in our daily lives.
My guess is the aliens would immediately question our fears, and remind us that it only creates panic and paralysis. Fear does not heal, or solve problems. The aliens will also explain to us that while we are here in this particular plane of physical existence, there is great value in learning to creatively cope with all the trials and tribulations that are thrown our way.
Even though life’s setbacks may appear to be frightening and insurmountable at times, each time we accept the challenge, it will enhance our personal growth and spiritual expansion. We become stronger and wiser as spiritual beings, and with the conquering of every passing fear and obstacle, we become more adept at understanding the true purpose and meaning of life and our place in the Universe.