accountability
It Just Happened
Too often people justify their poor judgment and bad choices with feeble excuses like, “It just happened.” But we all know that this is seldom the truth. The reality is that every step in our life is a choice. Whether we step forward, sideways, backwards, or stand still, it is a choice. And we should take personal responsibility for our life choices.
In everyday life we do not think much about where our steps may be leading us. We are typically just walking automatically in some direction. Many people simply live by trial and error.
However, when things go bad for us, it is usually because we have subconsciously, or even consciously, made the choice to move in a certain direction – a direction that we intuitively knew was not serving our highest good. And sadly, many times these bad choices also severely affect others.
For example, a friend of mine, who has only been married for one year, currently remains geographically separated from her husband, until she gets her immigration paperwork to be able to join him legally in his country. They had a beautiful wedding, and made the usual promises: to love and cherish, be faithful, in sickness and health, until death do them part.
Despite their long-distance marriage, they were doing everything right during the waiting period – or so it seemed. They called each other daily on the phone, and also talked on video chat. They constantly texted loving messages. He was originally also able to come and visit her here in Canada, but she could not cross the border to see him. However, when the Covid-19 pandemic hit, he was also denied entry. They had no further choice but to wait it out.
Are You Living An Unexamined Life?
According to Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This statement is very powerful, yet it has a very simple meaning. What you do not change, does not change you. When your actions remain the same, so do the results. If you cannot examine the things that are eating at you, the things that have gone wrong in your life, and even the things that have gone right, nothing changes.
We must look at our life and go behind the mask that we may be wearing, to cover up the fact that we are vulnerable inside. There are often so many aspects to our life that requires change in order to move forward to a better place.
For example, are you repeatedly settling for the same type of person as a partner and find it constantly failing? Are you going to a dead-end job day in and day out, that you hate so much that merely entering the workspace already makes you despise the day before it even starts? Do you look in the mirror and see things about yourself that makes you miserable?
Take off the mask of pretension and make an effort to change what isn’t working. Examine why you keep repeating the same patterns.
If you are ending up with the same type of person every time, ask yourself why? Are you trying to meet someone in the same way? Are you settling for someone that is not all that you would like, but feel it’s better than to have no one at all? Are you compromising on what you want? If they are not what you seek, cut them loose. They are not going to suddenly change.
Let Us Not Wait Until It’s Too Late
In a deep meditative state, I was contemplating how people are doing things differently because of the current state of affairs with the Covid-19 pandemic. Most are being highly cautious to prevent the spread of the new coronavirus. They are wearing masks, staying at home and doing various things to bolster their well-being and immunity.
The response is typically similar when there is a diagnosis of a serious illness, such diabetes, heart disease or cancer. The afflicted person often immediately makes changes to their lifestyle, for example changing their diet and eating healthier foods.
When there is a war, or a crime wave, or a terrorist attack, people become more vigilant and practice better safety precautions, while having a greater awareness of their surroundings, also known as situational awareness.
I was reading for somebody recently, who lives in a condo community. She described how none of her neighbors ever spoke to her, although she went out of her way to always be friendly and talk to others. Apparently, they were often very short with her.
But then many of the residents became victims to criminal activity, such as delivered packages stolen from their door. Suddenly, she noticed, more of her neighbors started to talk to each other, and more of them wanted to be friendly with her. In fact, they even started to meet in the park, to talk and discuss the safety of their shared living community.
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Find Your Balance With Rest And Relaxation
As I made my way into 2020, with great intentions and resolutions, I found that my life was full of busyness, obligations and a calendar quickly filling up. My 2020 vision board was filled with new goals and dreams, and my employer was eager to roll out new duties and processes to an already demanding workload.
I felt hopeful for all the things I wanted to accomplish, ready to take on all of the manifesting and challenges with gusto. Determined to find balance. But, as I look back over the past few weeks, I realize that I was reluctant to get going.
I began to cut corners in my new workout regime, and my meditation practice was not as frequent and strong as I knew it could be. I was not focused on my goals and felt myself burning out quickly in all tasks. My plate was full and the harder I tried, I had to admit, I was just not into it.
I have been feeling absolutely overwhelmed by the huge amount of work I needed to catch up on. My workout goal has only been making me more tired. As I procrastinated on the items on my ‘to do list’ and the commitments piled up, I actually felt more paralyzed than motivated.
Instead of trudging further through the process in a reluctant mood, I then chose to make an abrupt halt for a few days and simply rest. Just rest. Took a break. Time out. I cleared all of my commitments and turned off connection to all work items. I had no need to get out of my pajamas for a few days. I ordered takeout and let any dishes and laundry wait for a while.
Roadblocks To Spiritual Growth
The spiritually aware person is by nature more open, attuned and sensitive to everything around them: spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Letting all that additional energy flow in can be empowering, but also exhausting.
You also may find yourself adrift and lacking in purpose when it comes to your spiritual development and growth. Maybe you’re asking what is your life’s mission, or purpose? This kind of confusion and procrastination is common when you are experiencing energetic overload, or not appropriately investing your time and energy. But the good news is, it can be overcome.
Guidance
So many of us struggle with the big questions: why are we here, and what are we meant to do? But there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Asking your spirit guides, a mentor or a community of like-minded people for help on your journey is usually a step in the right direction. Be open and honest when you ask for guidance, and accept that the answers may not always be the ones you are expecting.
Practice
Instead of practicing our spirituality, we often spend a lot of time reading books or watching instructional videos on how to do it. The truth is, you already have all the spiritual skills you need, or you’re able to intuit them. Instead, actively practice your spirituality each day. Don’t be afraid of failure or shortcomings, because there is no such thing spirituality.