How To Find Your Inner Peace
Around the world we are being faced with a crisis situation that is bringing many negative feelings to the surface. Fear, anxiety, sadness, confusion, mistrust, frustration, anger. How you are faring during this time? What emotional responses are coming to the surface for you?
I have been following the news around the world. I have seen some leaders scoff at and make light of the situation, while others take it extremely seriously. There seems to be no unanimity or consistency in the messages we receive, and there appears to be a lack of consensus among the leadership and experts.
How then can we as individuals find inner peace and unity in all this chaos? The following guidelines may be helpful to you in the days ahead.
Turn Off The News
First things first: reduce your daily exposure to the news, and fact check everything you do choose to pay attention to. Most of all, do not believe everything you see on social media! Many of the stories going around are false reports, conspiracy theories and fake news. Some media outlets are also creating more fear and drama than we should have to deal with. Remember that in many cases sensationalism often equals sales. Choose your sources carefully and listen to your inner guidance and follow your intuition.
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.
New Day, New Year, New Vision
New Year’s Day is the perfect opportunity to reboot your life and redesign your future. What haven’t you manifested that is important to you? What tugs at your dreams moving forward? Today would be a good time to do something about it and change your life for the better.
However, if you only come across this later in the year, fear not. Any day can be the first day of a brand new year for you. It does not have to be January 1st. Your New Year’s Day can be whenever you choose it to be. Today, is a new day, just as tomorrow will be, and so forth. Choose any new day for you to start living your life. Whenever you are ready, declare what is in your soul and change the direction of your life.
To get started, the best counsel I can give you is to buy yourself a nice journal or notebook, a glue stick, a comfortable pen and, if it pleases your soul, some positive affirmation stickers. This is how you start your new year. And again, it does not have to be January 1st.
As you go about your daily life, take note of things that make you smile – whether it be a picture, a saying, something kind that you saw someone do, or something selfless that you did for someone else. Journal about it . Write about how it made you feel in that moment. Let these feelings come to the surface of your life and allow them to grow.
You will begin to notice, over time, that the more positive instances you write about, they more frequently similar experiences will come into your life. It does not happen overnight, so don’t sit there the next day and think, “Well, I wrote about seeing someone buy a homeless person a coffee and it made me feel good, but nothing good happened to me.” This process takes time. You are working on your inner being to simply be more accepting and positive as you walk your daily path.
Death Is Never Final
Most of us have lost someone dear to us, whether it be a grandparent, parent, child, friend or co-worker. And when this happens, many of us wonder why, and what happens next? Know this: death is never final.
Death is simply the spiritual essence leaving the physical body. Each one of us is born with this spiritual nature, our soul energy or spiritual essence. We are given a physical body to carry us through this journey on Earth, and throughout this life journey our physical bodies change. However, our spiritual essence remains constant from before our birth, and carries us forward to many other realms and new incarnations, beyond the physical death at the end of this lifetime.
My clients are often concerned about their departed loved ones. Is my mother in pain? Is my family okay? Is my child still suffering? Is my husband safe? Is my friend stuck in between worlds because she took her own life?
The simple answer to all these questions is: yes. When we pass, our physical body is no longer needed and our spirit simply returns to the Highest, or Heaven, or Universal Love, or Source. There is no ‘hell’ or ‘bad place’ after this life. It is all good for all of us. It is a place of peace and simplicity. A plane of existence or realm of the utmost, purest, highest state of unconditional love.
When we lose someone close to us, the essence of their spirit returns to us at different times after their passing. You may see, hear, sense, or even smell them, and sometimes even feel them touch you. All these experiences are real. If you feel them around you, they are there. If you feel a feather like touch on your cheek, they are there. If a scent reminds you of someone, they are there. If you swear someone just sat on your bed, but no one is in your room, they are there.
Learn To Listen To Your Angels
Who is helping me? I have angels and spirit guides? Are they really helping me? If they are helping me, why is my life falling apart? These are some of the questions that come up in our lives, when we have been told that our angels and guides are always with us.
Yes, your angels are always with you, to guide you through life, to enhance your intuition, and to fill the voids that come into your life. However, they cannot intervene in your life. That is all up to you.
Sit in silence and truly listen, before making a decision. Breathe and ask them for their help in making the right decision. I have several clients who do this, and then follow their first gut reaction.
However, I also have several that start to question it and ask the same questions over and over, and over again. They put their heart into it, they put their thoughts into it, but the answer changes on them…because they have created the change.
Know that the very first gut answer that you receive, after sitting in silence, is going to be the right one for you. But when you create the answer you want yourself, things do not always work out well.
A good example has to do with life partners. Someone will make up their mind that they have to be with a particular person, but it’s not up to us to make that choice. It’s a mutual choice. There are two people to consider here.