Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner
We all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?
Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.
Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.
So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.
Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.
Meditation Is Easier Than You Think!
No doubt you’ve heard of the many benefits of meditation, both physical and spiritual. But how does one start a meditation practice? It doesn’t have to be intimidating. According to the Zen master and teacher, Shunryu Suzuki, approaching meditation with a beginner’s mindset is actually ideal.
It’s important to clear up a common misperception about meditation. Meditation is not simply ‘thinking of nothing.’ Rather it is a spiritual process in which we learn to center, breathe, and achieve clarity.
Meditation is practiced by cultures all over the world and does not have to be associated with a specific spiritual tradition or religious belief system. It also does not have to involve sitting passively with a ‘blank mind.’ Rather it can be anything from coloring mandalas, to a walking in nature.
So, how does one begin, if you’re new to the practice? Consider the goals you wish to achieve with meditation: stress reduction, taming your thoughts, physical relief from pain, spiritual growth? Tailor your practice to build toward your personal goals. Remember, it’s a journey and not a destination.
Keeping a meditation journal, as you go along, can be very helpful. The most important thing is consistency. Make meditation a part of your daily routine, and ideally at the same time each day.
Once you have the basics in place, it’s time to begin. Choose a pose or stance which is comfortable, and a space which is calming, private and quiet. If playing comforting music or lighting candles, or incense, relaxes you, then do that!
Free Yourself With The Power Of Forgiveness
How can we possibly reconcile the feelings of anger and betrayal with a need to forgive? Are we compromising our integrity in doing so?
Forgiveness can seem like an impossibility… but it doesn’t have to be. It’s really one of the few things in life that really matters, whether it means forgiving ourselves, or someone else. It is said that allowing someone to continuously upset you, is to allow them to ‘live rent-free inside your mind.’
Others hurt us all the time. Holding on to this hurt for long periods of time can damage us physically and psychologically. And then there are those ‘little things’… like someone cutting you off in traffic, or forgetting an important date.
One thing forgiveness does not do, is make us forget the source of the pain. What it does is allow a reconciliation with what happened, and allows us to move on in a productive way. When you were a child, perhaps you got hurt with a hot stove burner or electrical outlet. You didn’t (hopefully) spend the rest of your life being angry at stoves or electrical outlets! This is basically how forgiveness also works. We can acknowledge that someone or something caused us to hurt, and be aware of how that happened, but still move past it and get on with our lives.
Holding on to anger and bitterness will color all your relationships, until you learn to forgive and let go. If, for example, you ended a toxic relationship and decided to start dating again, you might not be able to fully trust, because of the possibility of reliving that pain. A truly intimate relationship will never happen without forgiveness.
Mandala Meditation
Mandala is an ancient word simply meaning ‘circle’ in Sanskrit. Mandalas are patterns which range from simple to complex, and are said to represent the Universe and its energies. Varying designs have appeared for centuries in cultures around the world. These beautiful and intriguing works of art can be used in any meditative practice.
To use a mandala in your spiritual practice, begin by choosing one which has special meaning for you, or has a design you personally find harmonious. Many can be found online, in design books, or in color-it-yourself art books. The colors and patterns can also hold intrinsic meanings.
When you have found a mandala you like, use it as a focal point for meditation. State your intent beforehand. While studying the design of your mandala, let your mind stray into the subconscious.
This work is quite similar to candle or crystal work, in that the imagery directs our thoughts rather than the other way around. If you’ve ever found yourself getting lost in the patterns of a tile floor, or the wallpaper in a favorite room, then you’re already well-equipped for mandala work!
Maintaining A Lasting, Loving Relationship
We’ve all seen couples who have been together for many years. How do they make it last? Any relationship just beginning will feel magical when it’s in the infatuation stage. But when that’s gone, what then?
Whether it’s a friendship or a long-term partnership, keeping and maintaining a good relationship is generally a lot harder than the fairytale myth of ‘happily ever after.’ But it doesn’t have to be with the basic elements that enable relationships to stand the test of time.
Mutual Respect
Mutual respect is something everyone appreciates. Everyone loves to feel wanted, respected and loved. Avoid belittling or bullying your partner or friend, and don’t compare them negatively to yourself, or someone else. Respecting differences helps is to better see someone else’s point of view. Respect is a two-way street: don’t take too much and don’t expect someone else to give more than their fair share.
Relationships which endure are based in real love and respect. If you’ve been with someone for five years, or for 50, remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Have date nights and tell the other person that you love and respect them.
The Psychic Diet
There are various diets, nutrition programs and recommended eating habits for keeping the mind, body and soul functioning at optimum levels. Healthy nutrition is especially crucial in maintaining our spiritual wellness and psychic intuition. It is vital for psychics, mediums, empaths and energy healers to find an optimal diet that works best for them, because quality metaphysical and psychic work can only be achieved when it is supported by a healthy lifestyle and proper nutrition.
Eating whole foods, drinking plenty of water, and minimal consumption of alcohol, are all good for our psychic attunement, especially for people with intuitive gifts, such as mediums. Eating clean, wholesome food will improve one’s psychic connection.
Some experts believe that a psychic diet should restrict meat consumption, although I do not feel that this is absolutely necessary. Some empaths and energy healers, for example, report taking on the feelings of the animals they consume. A decision to follow a vegetarian or vegan diet is a personal one, and other health concerns, such as anemia or micronutrient shortages must be considered for the individual.
Psychics who do include meat in their diet, should ideally choose organic, free range meats. Some believe it best to stick to only chicken or fish. Fruits and vegetables, on the other hand, are considered to be beneficial for all. It’s best to eat organic or locally grown produce whenever possible.
Awakening Soul To Soul
Awaken Soul to Soul, a 2012 spiritual documentary explores how the current global shift and our personal crises are an impetus to awaken to oneness. The film asks us to examine our deepest levels of connection as a solution to the problems we all face. We can’t possibly begin to solve the common ills of the world unless we realize our shared humanity and spirituality. But how to begin this journey, to awaken our own souls?
One step we can all take is to discover our own spiritual gifts and use them in constructive ways. Intuition, or ‘knowing without knowing,’ for example, is a quality we all have to some degree. Learning to listen to our intuition, or inner guidance, through practice and meditation, will connect us to our own soul, as well as that of others.
This process may involve distancing ourselves from toxicity, including people, places or things with negative energies, as well as the hectic pace and sensory onslaught of the modern world (social media, television news). The psychic part of us, like any other part of our body and soul, does not function at full effect if it is unhealthy.
Becoming aware of our own healing ability, as well as our metaphysical creativity, is also part of the awakening soul. Learning Reiki, or aura reading, for example, will develop extra-sensory gifts, while sharing them with others. Something as simple as creative journaling or free form poetry can be a spiritual release and an awakening of the subconscious.