self-respect
How To Have Peace And Calm This Christmas
The year 2020 has been quite a year! The pandemic has turned the world upside down. Given what we have all been through, there is now an increased emotional need to have something to celebrate, and with Christmas around the corner, we have just that.
However, as magical a time of year as Christmas may be, it can still be somewhat stressful, and this year may prove even more challenging due to the need for safety precautions, social distancing and travel restrictions.
Nevertheless, with a little pre-planning, you should be able to get your Xmas off to a good start and enjoy the celebrations to the maximum without experiencing too much stress and drama in the process! How good is that? Here’s how.
Set Clear Intentions
Given the kind of a year we have experienced, we can indeed be excused for not celebrating a perfectly traditional Christmas this year. We are now in an excellent position to enjoy the kind of Christmas that we prefer.
Let go of the idea this year that Christmas must be ‘perfect,’ and that you must make it that way for everybody. Set instead a clear intention for what your ideal Christmas will be. After that, all you need to do is make plans that go along with your vision. Having established what Christmas really means to you, you can then use it as a guide to prepare your celebrations.
Keep It Simple
Simplicity ensures peace and calm, whereas complexity causes stress and drama. It really is as simple as that! It is imperative that any Christmas plans you make are as simple, straightforward and as streamlined as possible. Doing so should help to create a sense of calm and empowerment, which you will no doubt need to take into the New Year with you.
The Real Truth About Finding Love
I have been doing psychic readings for almost 20 years now, and the one topic that seems to come up most consistently is romantic love. The main issue that comes up all too frequently in these readings is a confusion about what love really is, and how to find true love.
The first thing I need to point out here is that the idea of ‘finding love’ is completely off-base to begin with. The notion that love must be ‘found’ makes very little from a metaphysical and spiritual perspective, and it is often the main reason why some people find their romantic relationships so challenging.
To say that one must ‘find love’ implies that love is somehow missing, lost, or in hiding. It suggests that love is limited and scarce, and that the experience of love is hidden and very complicated to access. The truth is that love is a transcendent, limitless force, and there is only one love that we all have equal access to.
This is another quandary that people have when they are looking to manifest romantic love in their life – they try to separate love into categories. Yes, there are different expressions of love, but in the end there is only one love. And everyone has access to it. Love is less about finding the ‘right circumstances’ and more about aligning with the vibe of love.
So, what is love? Is it ‘unconditional?’ In my view this is just another way of saying that love is limited. It also implies that there are two different forms of love – conditional and unconditional. This makes no sense, because there is only one love and this one love is always unconditional. Love is unconditional acceptance.
In my experience, this is what most of us are really looking for: unconditional acceptance. We experience love when we unconditionally accept ourselves, others, and our circumstances.
Get Rid Of The ‘Moldy Blueberries’ In Your Life
Positive energy spreads, and is infectious. Think about the positive, optimistic people in your life and how, whenever they walk into a room with their laughter, smiles and humor, they just raise the vibration of the entire room. Of course, excluding the really negative people in the room, who choose to remain impervious.
Yes, positive energy is contagious, but so too is negative energy. Just like the mildew on one bad blueberry, kept in a container with other blueberries, it spreads mildew and rot to all the other blueberries around it.
I remember walking into my dance studio one day, many years ago, and finding most of the moms, who had kids in my class, in the waiting room. I took this opportunity to show them the children’s costumes for our upcoming dance recital. The moms were instantly in love with the outfits. Some even became sentimental and teary-eyed. They commented excitedly on all of the bright sequins, the colors and styles. They all talked enthusiastically about how much they loved it, and how truly beautiful these designs were.
Then one mom arrived late, while I was in the office. I could not be seen by the group of mothers, but I could hear them. The late-arriving mom noticed the costumes and immediately began to complain about every aspect of it. She was very critical and felt they were “cheap-looking.” She even claimed that the moms had all been “ripped off” and that I over charged them.
Now Is The Time To Invest In Yourself
Throughout our childhood, we receive advice from family and teachers on how we should succeed in life. Study hard. Get good grades. Go to college for a quality career. Get married and have a family. Buy the dream home. Financial success and prosperity. Provide for your family. Send your kids to college. Become proud grandparents.
In reality, our real life experiences can throw us major curve balls, and impact what we envision as our dream future. In the same vein, life experiences create magnificent opportunities. Well-meaning guidance and suggestions from family and friends is beneficial. It is to be part of our consideration. It can give us goals, and affirm what we know about ourselves.
Careers can include being of service. A social worker, doctor, nurse, lawyer, first-responder, accountant, veterinarian, military, waitperson. A career in science. A researcher, chemist, biologist, architect, engineering. A career in entertainment. An artist, musician, dancer, playwright, author, actor, composer.
The career you choose is, however, to be one that nurture’s your heart as a priority. It should give you a feeling of passion and purpose, rather than financial security. Financial security is a goal one needs to have a degree of focus upon. We do need money to pay our bills, to support our family and lifestyle, to finance our dreams. Money being ‘the root of all evil’ is a fallacy. Money is a form of energy exchange. It has no judgment. It can influence or impede financial security. It is what you do with it that matters. But financial security is often temporary and based on your decisions and emotions.
Enter into your career choice with enthusiasm, passion, and a zest for knowledge. It may turn out that your career changes as you grow older. Jobs will definitely change through the years. You may be an individual who says, “Money does not matter or drive me.” This is a learned, mental paradigm picked up from your upbringing and childhood environment. Change it. Start thinking of how you can use financial security to benefit others.
How To Gain Confidence
Confidence isn’t about feeling superior to others. Confidence simply means feeling sure of yourself and your abilities, but not in an arrogant way. It’s the quiet, inner knowledge that you are capable. Confident people feel ready for everyday challenges.
For some of us it takes years of trial and error to gain self-confidence. Most people are their own worst critic. They judge themselves much harder than others would. And some will never feel good enough, or worthy of all the good things life has to offer.
Confidence really isn’t something that anyone else can give you. If you are not feeling confident, no matter how much praise and affirmation others may offer you, it will just fall on deaf ears. If you don’t believe it yourself, you simply will not hear it, or feel it.
As a psychic medium, it took me a few times of demonstrating for large groups to feel confident in myself and my mediumship. I have always trusted the spirit world to provide validation for the continuity of consciousness. The spirit world always brings forth messages and advice for clients without judgment. Spirit is consistently loving and kind, bringing forth messages for the highest good of my clients.
One of the biggest challenges for most, if not all psychic mediums, is the fear of ‘getting it wrong.’ Well, spirit never gives incorrect information. As humans we may interpret what we are seeing, hearing, and feeling incorrectly, but the original message is never inaccurate. The medium is just the messenger in the middle – and we are human and fallible. Therefore, in a mediumship session with me, I always try not to interpret too much of what I’m hearing, seeing and feeling. I just give the information with a basic sense of trust.
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!