self-respect
Successful Relationships Begin With Self-Love
How do you ensure your relationship will work long-term? Many callers ask me this question almost every day. In my experience, there needs to be a balance of love, caring, respect and truth for any relationship to last. If you do not have these components in a relationship, more than likely it will not work out. If a relationship is out of balance, then it usually is too one-sided and not serving your highest good.
The key first step is to love and respect yourself, because when you love and respect yourself, you will also receive more love and respect from others. There is not much of a future for any relationship that is based on the self-sacrifice of one party. It never lasts and typically does not end well. Balance is required in matters of the heart.
Along with the respect you deserve in the way you are treated. it is loving, caring, and respectful? This is applicable to everyone in your life, including romantic partners, friends, co-workers, family, and relatives.
Respect is not only something we must demand, but we must also set boundaries for it in our daily life. When a boundary is repeatedly disregarded or violated by someone in your life, then something needs to change. This is when you have to say, enough.
Sometimes the hard decisions need to be made. If someone is not respecting you in your relationship, treating you poorly, and not meeting your most essential wants and needs, then it is time to make a change. Respect yourself enough to end it.
Too many people do not believe they deserve love and respect, for various reasons. The problem often begins in childhood. It is important to realize you do and to start loving yourself a little more – not in an egotistical way, but in a way that you love and respect yourself enough to want only the best for you and to no longer settle for anything less.
How To Set Intentions That Manifest
Not long ago, I was going through some storage boxes and out fell a little scrap of paper. Curious, I picked it up, unfolded it and read the words I had written over a year earlier.
Now, I do not remember writing this little note, or saving it for that matter. But what I found grabbed my attention and pulled me immediately into the present moment.
It was a wish list. I had written things like, “do fulfilling work that feeds my soul,” and “a home with by the ocean, mountains and forest.” As I read through the items on this list, I realized that all of them had meanwhile become a reality in my life. I was amazed, and filled with gratitude!
Like most people, I also too often forget to take stock and honor moments of gratitude for the many blessings in my life.
While this wish list shook me back into gratitude, it also got me thinking about something else. The power of intention.
I always say that life is like driving – you need to look where you want your car to go. With the general busy-ness of life getting in the way, it can be challenging to stay focused on where we want to be versus where we are now.
I have found the following three strategies help to bring me back into full presence and awareness in the current moment, as well as setting intentions like a ‘map’ of where I want to be headed.
Envision The Broad Strokes
It is vital to understand that universal energies seek to help us manifest that which is our highest and best good. With this concept as our framework, we allow these energies to work within our lives in ways we may never have expected.
Be Mindful Who You Allow Into Your Energy Field
We all know someone who is personally so miserable they want everyone around them to be equally miserable too. You can usually tell by how they talk, behave, and treat others.
Due to a recent encounter I personally had with a relative who is acts like this, I decided to ask spirit for insight and guidance on how to deal with such people. How does a spiritually conscious person handle someone who makes us feel as though we need to walk on eggshells whenever we are around them?
Spirit showed me that we all have those relatives or friends who are obviously very unhappy and choose to take it out on others. Spirit says the first step is to not participate in any argument they try to initiate. Simply don’t respond. To argue it takes two people. So simply do not buy their drama.
It can get very uncomfortable when such a negative, toxic individual engages with you. They can make us feel really bad – often for no reason other than wanting to bring you down to their low frequency. Don’t allow them to push your buttons. By not giving in to their ploy, you remain connected to the Light,
Understand that some people are in a very fragmented place of spiritual disconnect and emotional dysfunction, often because they never dealt with their emotional issues on a deeper level. So, because of that they take it out on others.
Spirit says we must seek to create some healthy space and set boundaries with these people. We can be compassionate and understanding, without becoming their victims or emotional punchbags. It is your spiritual right to take back your power.
Integrity And Trust In Psychic Reading
We all are born with gifts and talents that are our responsibility to nurture and grow. Those gifts are given by the Divine to be shared with others, and to do our part in making this world we live in a better place.
Before I decided to join an online psychic network, I did a lot of research and then decided to apply to Psychic Access, because it was the most reputable. The negative feedback on some of the other sites, and the scams of spell work and other dubious practices, shocked me. Some sites actually encourage what I refer to as ‘baiting,’ which is sending emails telling people that ‘dark energy’ or an impending problem was coming and they should contact the reader immediately.
Some sites I explored also could have cared less if I had any mediumship or psychic ability; if I had a pulse and was breathing, I would have been hired to do psychic readings there. I was horrified and disgusted.
Wounded hearts can have many dark and tender places and my desire with the work I do is to be of service, to clarify, empower, encourage and inspire all who reach out to me and open their hearts and lives. My great grandmother taught me that with my psychic ability came tremendous responsibility. This is no game to me, no hobby, and I was not going to be associated with any website or company that encouraged such values or behavior.
Integrity is vital to me. I like to think of integrity as armor. We face many challenges, or battles if you will, in our day to day lives and the right armor in any battle is crucial. Chinks in our armor weaken us and can lead to ‘spiritual rust’. Chinks may appear in the form of dishonesty, revenge, resentment, lack of forgiveness, bitterness, judgment. The list goes on.
Saying ‘I’m Sorry’
I had a conversation not too long ago with friends about the increasing breakdown in civility, courtesy, and decency in society. The lack of good manners creates isolation, loneliness and a feeling of not being cared for.
I have noticed these days when you tell others you are not doing well or going through a hard time, the other person often doesn’t seem to know how to respond. You’re lucky if you get at least a blank stare! This is not how grew up. There were a few ‘odd’ people in the old days who seemed stoic or lacking in empathy – but they stuck out! Now it seems to be the norm.
I saw a post on social media recently stating that we should stop saying ‘I’m sorry’ for everything. Instead, for example, if you are late, one should say ‘thank you for waiting for me.’ I feel this ill-conceived idea is a reflection of the social issues we face as a society today.
If someone was late and didn’t say sorry (which happens often to me) I would be even more annoyed. Words are powerful. A sincere apology (and forgiveness) has tremendous power.
The idea that no apology is needed when you are late is very narcissistic in my opinion. Life is not always about us, or what suits us, because in this world what is best for others is in fact also what is best for us. Selfish, cruel, mean people end up being miserable. Generous, well-mannered, kind-hearted people are blessed.
The concept here is apparently that by offering a sincere apology you are being submissive or bowing down to someone else by degrading yourself. Well, that is simply bizarre. An apology is a way of honoring the other person and keeping your dignity?
We all make mistakes. I am usually on time, but I have been late a few times in my life. Honor and dignity are not objects of pride; they are objects of humility, compassion, and respect for others.
Dealing With Negative Energy This Holiday Season
What do you do when you have to go to a family holiday gathering you have dreaded all year? What is supposed to be a positive, happy reunion this time of the year is often a negative, argumentative and energetically draining occasion!
I know from experience that diverse personalities show up to these types of gatherings and over the years I have learned to keep quiet, and smile, and muster through it. I have helped several of my clients lately find solutions to deal with these challenging situation.
There was the uncle that swears around the children who my client is trying to raise in a loving, Christian environment. I have also helped a client find out why her sisters-in-law and mother-in-law constantly gossip about her behind her back. I have helped bring light to a client’s ongoing problems with her siblings’ argumentative nature.
I want you to know that the choice is yours if you choose to deal with these people. Remember you always have free will, even in the most dire circumstances. You don’t have to be around family members who steal your energy and drop their poison of negative energy and comments on you.
It’s unhealthy to put yourself in situations that are uncomfortable, especially when the environment is saturated with dis-ease. Sometimes you have to exercise your right to say: “No thank you, I will pass!” If you do this, you will find you have more energy for those that do treat you well and don’t talk about you behind your back.
Also, do not allow yourself to feel guilty that your not going to attend. Make positive changes this holiday season by saying no to unnecessary stress, negative people and toxic energy. Embrace your own assertiveness for the betterment of your health and mental well-being.
How To Heal Your Broken Heart
In the 1960’s Roy Orbison belted out the song, It’s Over. Even at four years of age, it stirred my emotions hearing it on the radio. In 1984, I heard the exact same words from a man I very much loved and believed to be ‘the one.’ Thankfully, he was not, but that is another story.
He turned to me and said, “We’re not a good match.”
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. My heart jumped and my knees turned to jelly. I felt so lost and alone, as well as almost every other negative emotion possible…from anger and hurt, to frustration and hopelessness. All these emotions coursed through my body like a freight train.
How was I going to cope without him in my life? What will become of me? What do I do now that it is over?
At 24 years of age, I did not have much experience dealing with loss, disappointment, and grief as I do today. Today, as a practicing psychic with many years of professional experience, I would offer my younger self the following spiritual advice regarding healing a broken heart.
Acknowledge
I believe we can also mourn the living, just as much as we grieve for someone who has passed away. Indeed, acknowledging finality, in whatever form the finality presents itself, can be a challenging thing to do, especially if you are emotionally involved with someone. That said, it is much better than holding onto false hope, which is far worse. Continue reading