self-improvement
Focus On Your Own Karma
I often get questions about karma, vengeance, and divine justice from clients when I do readings. Will the haters get what’s coming to them? Will karma finally get my cheating ex? Will my abusive employer get his comeuppance someday? If so, how long will it take for them to feel the hurt and pain they inflicted on me?
When someone calls me hoping to hear that the other person will get their ‘karma,’ it usually relates to a recent incident and they feel like the rug has been pulled from under them – especially when the attack or betrayal was seemingly unfounded. They usually hope for immediate, soul-crushing retribution!
In my own life, I have not experienced such ‘instant karma.’ In fact, true karmic debt is a very slow turning wheel. Expecting immediate payback is a lost cause and a foolish pursuit. Revenge is sweet, they say, but the spiritual truth is that seeking venegeance will only add to your own karmic debt. If someone has hurt or wronged us, the pain will ease over time. Time heals all wounds, even if the scars remain.
The only meaningful ‘payback’ I have ever experienced in my own life, was the times when I received apologies from loved ones on the other side in mediumship readings. Those messages all came from the souls of family members who have completed their life review after their transition. Once we cross over into the spirit realm, we always get new clarity and an expanded understanding of our actions, or lack thereof, and how it has caused harm to others. For some souls this process takes much longer than for others.
This happened to me on several occasions over the years, with various mediums relaying spirit messages of remorse, apologies, and loved ones asking for my forgiveness. In every instance the ‘perpetrator’ had no idea of the impact they had had on me while they were in this life. Some of them also explained that their hurtful actions were due to a learned dysfunctional behaviors and trauma from their own life experiences, especially from childhood.
Waiting On The World To Change
Waiting On The World To Change is not just a great John Mayer song, it is also a devastating pattern in many people’s lives. Too often people are waiting for some outside force to come along and bring them the happiness and fulfillment they want. Living one’s life ‘on hold’ in this way can become a incapacitating habit that will only serve to make us eternally stuck and unhappy.
When we are waiting for a change from someone or something other than ourselves, we are not taking control of our own power. More importantly, we are also not taking personal responsibility for our God-given free will choices, nor are we holding ourselves accountable for our own actions (or inaction).
We all have that friend who is always saying how great her relationship would be ‘if only’ her partner would change a certain habit, or do something differently. Or that colleague who never gets the promotion, while she keeps blaming others as to why she is constantly overlooked. Or the diseased relative who ‘cannot’ improve her health and wellness, because making better lifestyle choices just doesn’t fit into her busy work schedule and social life.
The worst one for me is people waiting for that amazing soulmate relationship to finally materialize, when they are not making even the least bit of effort to put themselves out there and meet new people.
Some people spend a lot of time constantly setting new goals or intentions, making wish lists, creating vision boards, or doing visualizations or rituals, to manifest the changes they want to see in their lives. But what if the thing they need to change is actually themselves?
Online Dating Is Seldom The Problem
How does one find that everlasting love so many of us seek? This is the big question. In today’s era of social media and online dating, romance is so very different from the old days, when one would more often meet someone through friends and relatives, or at work. I am not saying that oes not happen anymore, but chances are slim in a new era where more of us are working from home and studies reveal that more than half of adults are experiencing loneliness.
I believe nowadays most people are actually scared to enter the dating scene. Not only does it take one out of your comfort zone, but we have all heard horror stories of people who tried online dating and now feel they will never want to date again. Some people are also adamant that online dating simply does not work.
The truth is quite the opposite however, when one looks at research statistics. For example, in a 2019 study found that meeting online has become the most popular way for couples to connect in the United States.
A 2021 study estimated that about 323 million people worldwide were using dating apps and matchmaking sites to meet new people. A recent survey found that about one in every three people who use these platforms found someone to have a long-term relationship with, and at least 13% of online daters eventually get engaged or married because of using these platforms.
In my experience the dating apps and websites are not the reason why some people fail to meet the right person or have bad experiences with online dating. I have seen time and again in readings I do for clients all over the world that the key elements for dating success are self-love, self-worth, mental health and spiritual awareness.
We Should Be More Like The Turtle
Most people seldom give themselves permission to take a breather and just relax. As a hypnotherapist, I often see clients for stress relief sessions. In this case, they usually feel it is more justified for them to take some time out, because they are paying for a form of professional healthcare. After all, they made an appointment for the session and their doctor referred them. So, it must be okay.
Many people cannot even relax on a vacation! They feel they absolutely must do all the tourist things, even if they are tired, or the money they spent of the trip will be wasted. Or they feel compelled to spring clean the hotel room, instead of lying on the beach. Only to feel they need a second vacation to recover from the first vacation once they return home.
In the good old days, folks used to simply take a ‘joy ride’ somewhere with no real purpose or destination in mind. They did it purely for the enjoyment and the adventure. It was a standing joke in my family that if you chose to get in a car with my dad, you had better have the entire day off, because you never knew where you would wind up or what time you would get back home.
My kids still reminisce about our family taking a ride during the holidays to see all the Christmas lights and decorated homes. We used to stop for hot chocolate with marshmallows and everyone received a homemade cinnamon candy cane. It was the tradition.
Today, we live in such a busy, fast-paced world in which we feel guilty for taking time to take care of ourselves. But what is more important: the journey or destination? We all need to rest and restore our body, mind, and spirit on a regular basis. Neglecting one’s self-care is a prescription for poor long-term health, and making bad life choices.
Seasonal Crystals To Prepare For The Spring
The second half of the winter season, after the solstice, is an ideal time to establish new patterns and laying the groundwork for the coming spring and summer. Now is the ideal time to start adopting healthier lifestyle habits and plant spiritual seeds that will bloom in the months ahead.
Crystal that pairs well with this kind of winter energy work is clear, transparent quartz. It is a metaphysical staple for many practitioners, regardless the time of year, as it facilitates mental and emotional clarity and helps clear out negative energies. However, like a pristine winter pool of icy water, it also does not tolerate shadows and secrets.
Another winter-friendly crystal is selenite, which resembles an opaque spike of white ice. It acts as a cleanser, sweeping away the painful memories of the past and embracing the transition into a new year. Selenite is also closely associated with guardian angels and spirit guides, so it helps us to tap into their guiding wisdom more clearly.
Warmer, more fiery crystals can also help us generate some sparks and bring new heat to even the coldest, most hibernated of intentions. Citrine, with its inviting citrus hues attracts good luck and prosperity to the bearer. This crystal helps us stick to our goals and fulfill our greater purpose.
If you are wanting to increase your creativity and productivity this year, try fiery carnelian, with its sweltering deep orange and red-brown overtures. Its leading energy associations are inspiration, determination, and tenacity. Also, red or fuchsia garnet (appropriately also the birthstone for January) increases motivation and allows us to manifest our goals and aspirations.