self-empowerment
Dating A Married Man
The subject of dating married men and being ‘the other women’ is something that for obvious reasons is seldom talked about. But I feel it might be healthy and necessary to discuss this more openly, as it is a much more complex issue than is often realized.
For example, many women who become involved with married men do not always know initially that he is married. In my experience, helping many female clients over the years in this predicament, many woman get into it by default after being misled by the man, only to find out later that he is married and has no plan of ever leaving his wife.
I could write a book on all the reasons why married men do not leave their wives. But instead, I think it is more important to focus on why so many women continue these affairs, once they find out he is married.
Now, you would think the empowered, modern woman of today would not put up with such a situation, but they do. I find these women are often so much in love and hopeful for what might be someday, that they convince themselves their situation is unique or different, and that he is unique or different. The truth is usually quite the opposite.
How to break free from this dead-end situationship? It can be challenging for sure, but certainly possible. I believe the key is self-love and self-worth. It requires the courage to step forward and say, “I deserve more.’
If you are caught up in a relationship with a married man, know that is seldom ends well for any of the parties involved. The chances that the outcome of your situation will be the exception to the rule is most unlikely. Stay true to your highest good and make the necessary changes for your future happiness.
Make Time To Listen To Your Heart
The heart is a wondrous place, the keeper of all your dreams, desires, hopes, and wishes. The heart is your protector and guide and the holder of your very own sacred flame.
No matter where we are in this life, or what role we have embraced as our life’s mission, we must always honor the calling of our heart. It’s built-in GPS will never lead us astray. The heart’s invitation is always one that guides us to our greatest purpose through the love of the Divine, love of life, love of self, love of others, and love of service.
There are times in life when the heart calls for us to make a sacrifice to bring to fruition a special dream or mission. But the fast-paced world we live in provides little time or space for the calmness necessary to hear the sometimes faint calling of the heart. This is why we must take time away from others to honor the commitment of the soul. It is as necessary as the medical student in the preparation for becoming a great surgeon.
For a tree to grow, a seed must first be planted, which requires retreating into the stillness of the forest or the garden, breaking the soil, and carefully nesting a seedling into the heart of mother earth. Similarly, to overcome the many distractions of our worlds, we must create the time and space to tune in to the song of our heart.
In doing so, we are honoring our heart, which requires consistent practice, beginning with baby steps. Over time, we can cultivate a spiritual practice of listening to the heart in much larger steps, and then bold, giant steps.
Mahatma Gandhi, the great activist, and humanitarian, once said that prayer, regardless of one’s religion or spiritual path, purifies the heart. Gandhi cultivated a deep stillness in his own life by making time to listen to his heart through the daily practice of meditation.
Trusting Your Inner Truth
Who in your life would you define as someone you could completely and totally trust? A parent, your spouse or partner, best friend, or a co-worker? Do you rely instead on the support of your angels, spirit guides or loved ones that have passed on? If you have someone you feel you can unconditionally rely on, be it in this life of the next, consider yourself blessed and fortunate.
However, if you struggle to trust anyone or anything, there is one source you can always trust if you allow yourself to be open to it. In fact, if you accomplish this you never have to rely on any external sources, both secular and spiritual.
This one true source is your inner guidance, your inner voice, your intuition, your soul wisdom. When we become more aware of our inner guidance we can discern for ourselves when there is a ‘twinge’ or a ‘gut feeling’ that we are being presented with a truth. If you are in alignment with what truly resonates within, it creates a strong bond with your higher self that ultimately places you in a position of complete self-trust.
To achieve this we need a strong personal belief system. Our belief or faith must be such that we are able to accept without question that we have an inherent ability to discern complete truth. We must have total faith in our own inner guidance and embrace our spiritual wisdom within.
If we do not believe and do not honor the inner wisdom that exists in all of us, we need to ask ourselves why not? What can we possibly find in the external world or in others that is more reliable than our own inner voice? Why might we trust what is outside ourselves more than what resides within.
Embrace The New Solar Year Without The Self-Sabotage
On March 21st we entered a new solar year ruled by the planet Jupiter, which promises luck, healing, abundance, and happiness. The last two years have been challenging and an extreme test of our values and beliefs, but the time has now come to rise above it and use the energy of the planet Jupiter to make the most of this new solar year. It is time for us to now enjoy the fruits of our struggle.
But when we are in such a transition process there are always things that slow us down or hold us back. Fortunately, there are ways to erase these obstacles to ensure a much more smooth transition. If you are struggling to embrace the new year solar year energy of Jupiter, you may be dealing with one or more of the following self-sabotaging energy blockages.
FALSE BELIEFS
The most important thing is to become aware if you have a negative mindset caused by certain fears and false beliefs. Make a list of every negative idea or false belief you may have about the future. Then rewrite each of them in a positive form and also in the present tense. For example, if you worry that the pandemic may never end and our lives will never me normal again, rephrase that notion as: “The pandemic will end in due course and life will eventually return to an even better version of normal.” It’s almost like overwriting an old computer program.
VICTIM MENTALITY
Realize that you alone can change your life for the better. Nobody else is going to do it for you. The more you direct the focus away from your own responsibility and self-empowerment, and instead focus on others in a negative way, the more you remain in the passive, victim role and nothing can truly change. Forgive people in your life and take back your power. A better life and brighter future begins with yourself. Continue reading
Healing From A Relationship Breakup
All breakups are painful. There really is no quick fix to heal a broken heart. But there are some things one can do to gradually move on and begin a new journey without your ex-partner.
The first thing to do is to accept the reality of the situation. It is not going to do any good to dwell on the past or try to work things out at this point. In this early stage of grieving, it is usually not a good idea to speak to your ex at all. It will simply prolong the pain.
At times you might be tempted to reach out to your ex, but listen to what your heart and soul is telling you. Trust your gut. It will never steer you wrong.
You may also want to avoid reminders of your ex and your relationship. No need to put any more stress or pressure on yourself than you have to. It is best to accept what is and move on.
The most important thing now is to put yourself first and be true to you. Now is the time to come to grips with your feelings. Don’t hold back if you want to cry and let it out.
We are always trying to look for answers as to why something happened. Many times, we blame ourselves, thinking that things may have been different if we would have done more. We put ourselves through so much unnecessary guilt sometimes. It is unfair and pointless to do that to ourselves and not the best path to healing. Seek forgiveness for your ex and yourself.
A healthy lifestyle is important in times of grief. Exercise is especially beneficial. It makes you feel more in control of yourself and increases ‘feel good’ hormones like dopamine that will reduce depression.
Less Stress, More Meditation
We do our best to not be in a state of constant stress, toxic environments and unhealthy situations. We try so hard to keep our life in a state of contentment and happiness.
We intuitively know that if we keep our stress levels down, we sleep better and we think more clearly. Being in a state of zen is our original state.
When we are at peace, we are more able to hear that inner voice telling us what to do, and not do. It is what I call our inner GPS. We can hear it much more clearly when I we are centered and grounded, and not stressing.
I have found that only through meditation can I fully achieve this state of ‘less stress’ in my life. Of course, we can never eliminate stress completely, but meditation does empower me to achieve that state of contentment more easily.
After many years of practice, I can even achieve this within a few moments by simply focusing on my breath. But it is best when I take a good 30 minutes to go through my meditative steps. This includes breathwork and visualizing my body relaxing from my toes to top of my head.
During my destressing meditation I also take some time to send out love, light and peace to everyone that I know and love, including those who I don’t necessarily like very much. I also visualize the things I want to manifest in my life.
Stay True To Your Own Best Karma
You may have heard of someone ‘getting their karma’ for something bad they have done, or of wishing bad karma on another for their transgressions. Most people use the word ‘karma’ in this negative sense, usually believing that a person that hurt them will be on the receiving end of the same hurt (or worse) because of their deeds.
But wishing negative karma on another is a dangerous practice. What we think, say and do tend to come back to us, instead of another person. So, when you say something like, “Oh, I can’t wait until they get their karma and someone breaks their heart like they broke mine,” you have in fact declared it for yourself (again).
Karma happens when it happens. Never, ever wish it on another in a negative manner. Your thoughts, words and actions determine what you attract to yourself.
Karma can instead be invoked in an amazingly positive way. Wish everyone good things, positive actions, and uplifting results in their life – even those who wronged you.
Congratulate that person who got the promotion that you wanted. Offer the person who stole from you a blessing. Forgive the person who broke your heart and wish them only happiness in their future life.
This will open the flood gates of good reactions to your actions. There is a cause and effect for everything, so the moment you choose to you’re your thoughts, words and actions all positive and loving, that is what you will attract in return.