memories
Asking ‘Why’ When A Loved One Is Lost
When you lose someone you love in a sudden, unexpected way, such as suicide, a car accident, murder, or domestic violence, it always seems so unfair and tragic. It is usually so difficult to understand why this had to happen?
The truth is that we will never truly know the ‘why’ of things. The biggest regret that I hear from so many bereaved people is that they never had a chance to say goodbye.
Someone passing due to old age or illness usually affords us the time to prepare for the loss and to say our goodbyes. Typically, you will haves some time with the person, to be kinder, to be compassionate and to let them know how much they are loved. A sudden passing robs us of all of this.
I am personally very aware of the emotions, feelings and experiences that come after a loved one’s life is lost so suddenly and unexpectedly. More than a decade ago, I lost my stepson to suicide. He was only 32 years old. Within 2 days of this tragedy, a another local young man also took his life. He was only 22.
The widespread trauma of the pandemic over this past year has brought back many of these feelings for me. Many people I know, all men, have taken their own lives because they have lost their jobs, businesses or life partners. Some of these men were successful business owners, but the lockdowns triggered something inside of them that led them to think suicide was a better way, or the only way out.
I talk to an abuse counselor at least two to three times a month and we discuss the unavailability of abused women to get help, because the shelters that are there to protect them are usually full to capacity. I personally know two women whose lives were tragically ended by an abusive partner or ex-partner who they just could not get away from. You read about these cases almost every day. It makes zero sense if you try to find the logic in it.
And accidents happen in the blink of an eye. Yesterday, it was two locals snowmobiling in our area, who hit each other head on. One passed instantly, the other suffered only minor injuries. The week before it was a tractor trailer hitting a car that pulled out in front of it. The truck driver is fine, but the car and passenger is no longer with us. Continue reading
Keeping My Promise To A Departed Loved One
Sometimes we become so busy and preoccupied in our daily lives that we forget the commitments we made to loved ones, relatives and friends. But this does not only apply to the living. Some of us also forget the promises we make to those that are no longer with us.
Too often we hold the hand of a loved one on their deathbed and promise to look after those they will be leaving behind. They wish for us to look after those they will no longer be able to care for and love in this life. And we promise wholeheartedly to do whatever it is they ask of us in their final moments.
But once they have departed and life returns to normal, we soon forget these promises and serious conversations. Our memories become conveniently selective. We usually don’t mean for this to happen, but life does have a way getting in the way.
I had a shocking reminder recently of my own selective memory in this regard. Several years ago, I got into the habit of journaling about issues in my life that deeply matter to me. Recently, I was not able to sleep and was encouraged by spirit to go through my journal.
So, I sat up at about four o’clock in the morning and randomly opened my journal on the very page where I had written about a promise that I had made to a loved about another person, whom I had a strong dispute with in the past. Being only human, I had some seriously negative feelings towards that individual.
However, I had promised to check in and be supportive to this person, whom I did not like very much at all, on behalf of the person who was in their final hours. At the time, I remember saying that I would “do my best” and that “if I could, I would.”
The promise was much more than just checking in on the relative. It went as far as the very items I was meant to get at the grocery store, as well as things to say to this person when I delivered it. I had however conveniently forgotten about it since, until I discovered the entry in my journal.
Helping Others Is A Great Way To Help Yourself
Ten years ago was a very difficult time in my life. I had a lot of time to reflect and put my own needs in perspective. My experience with that stress gave me coping skills that I want to share with you in today’s difficult times.
We all have choices in life when we believe that we have hit ‘rock bottom.’ We can choose to stay at that bottom and focus on that negative energy, or we can look for the positive side and see that there is nowhere else to go, except back up to the top.
A decade ago my mother was fighting cancer. She was strong and healthy and had always focused on a healthful and active lifestyle. Why did this happen to someone who does all the right things in life, when there are so many people that do not take care of themselves and then live a longer life?
In those days, I could choose to focus on such negative thoughts about how unfair life was, or I could choose to find the positive in that situation. Spending time with my mother, taking her to doctor’s appointments, cooking her favorite meals and offering my listening ear instead created a positive spirit for both of us.
I tried to spend as much time with her as possible, giving her time to live, love and laugh. We focused on one day at a time, but also made plans for tomorrow. Keeping busy and reminiscing over the positive memories we shared, truly helped me through that very stressful time with my mother.
On top of dealing with my mother, I also had a nine year old Doberman dog that was very close to me. He had just been diagnosed with liver disease and his prognosis was not good. The added stress of my dog’s health made matters even more challenging. I still think sometimes that if it wasn’t for bad luck, I would have no luck at all! But I make an effort to snap out of this kind of thought process as quickly as possible. It serves no purpose in the long run.
My Near-Death Experience
About 12 years ago, right before Christmas, I had a lot going on in my life. I was taking care of my two kids and my brother. My cousin had a three-month-old baby, whose mother was in the hospital with complications due to diabetes. He brought me his new baby and asked if they could stay with us, and if I could care for his son while he worked. He was working the night shift, from around 7pm till 4am. Of course, I said I would help in any way I could.
Between my kids’ and my brother’s schedules, and now this new baby who was colicy, I was exhausted at the end of the second week. Somehow, I also got food poisoning. Never having had food poisoning before, I didn’t know the symptoms and thought I had a touch of stomach flu. Being so tired, I hadn’t realized how sick I actually was. After about 18 hours of fluid loss, I become so dehydrated that I had a seizure. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I fell down. Apparently, I was clinically dead for around 1½ minutes.
I did not experience all of the typical near-death phenomena. There was not any floating over my body; there was no white light, no tunnel. I was simply here and then I was there. The first thing I remember is walking along a sort of grassy path. I don’t remember turning around to look behind me, but, I just knew that there was a darkness from which I came, back there.
There were two people there to greet me. A woman and a man, the woman spoke to me first, and the man was a little ways behind her. Today, I could not tell you who these people were. But, when I was there, I was so glad to see them. It was like when I had sent my kids to summer camp, and they were gone for all those summer months, and I missed them terribly. It was the same feeling I got when seeing my children for the first time returning home. I had a deep love and bond with these two people.
The next thing I remember is that I was taken to the top of a mountain. There was no journey to get there, I was just there. The only way to describe the mountain is that it was like standing on top of Pikes Peak and looking out. I was so high up that the only thing I could see was blue sky.
The Mystery Woman In My Mother’s Kitchen
I had an unusual childhood as the member of a psychic family. I also grew up in a haunted house, which is something we did not openly discuss in those days.
One particular ‘ghost’ story is something I will never forget. It was one of those unusual instances where my psychic abilities would not provide any of the answers. It was also an incident that would change my family forever.
My mother was terminally ill and shortly before she passed we were sitting in the living room talking to her. She kept referring to this woman she saw cooking dinner in the kitchen. She described the woman as being in her early 60’s, with an apron and light brown hair. My mother was not pleased that this stranger was busy cooking in her kitchen. What was she doing there?
Although we are a highly intuitive family, none of us saw or felt the presence of any ‘woman’ at that time. There certainly was no ghost in the kitchen. If there was, we would have sensed something. We were not sure if my mother’s words were merely a side-effect of the medication she was on, or whether she was getting ready to leave this life, which may have been causing her to hallucinate. None of us really knew what to make of the strange ‘woman in the kitchen’ she kept seeing.
My mother passed away shortly thereafter. About six or seven months later my father announced that he had met a new woman and that he really liked her. Time went by and one day my father told me he was going to ask his new girlfriend to marry him.
I had never met the lady before and not knowing who she was I wanted to be sure if she would be the right person for him. What if she was just trying to take advantage of him? But this time my psychic abilities let me down. For some reason I just could not pick up on who this woman was that my father was planning to marry. This is something that sometimes happens to psychics when they try to read for themselves, or for the people close to them.
A Healing Spirit Visitation And The Haunted Toy
A few months ago, my best friend, whom I’ve known since I was five, had her mother pass away. Shortly after that, I woke up in the middle of the night because my son’s educational toy was spontaneously activated and said: “Learn.”
I then instantly felt my friend’s mother’s presence. She was visiting me to apologize to me for something that happened when I was a little girl. It was a deep wound for me at the time, but I rarely thought about it since, and did not harbor any ill will because of it.
When I was 11 years old, I had told my best friend that I had “seen my goddess.” I did not know about spirit guides and had not yet been exposed to any related spiritual philosophies or belief systems. However, I was already interacting with my spirit guide back then, whom I called ‘my goddess.’ Today, I know her as Lily.
I also told my friend that my goddess had said that she was going to give me gift. Later that day, in the cow field that I had to cross to get to school every morning, I found a silver ring.
My friend knew that we were not wealthy, so there was no way I could have bought the ring with my own money. It clearly had been found. It was too much of a coincidence for my friend to not link it to me saying my goddess was giving me a gift.
Unfortunately, these events really scared my friend. She told her parents. That night, my friend’s father, who was a rather intimidating man, came to my house and yelled at me in front of my mom. My mother was confused, since she did not know what had happened earlier that day.
My friend’s parents never got over it. They assumed I was lying and telling stories that scared their daughter. They treated me quite badly after that. This is too often the lot of many psychic children. We are frequently accused of lying or exaggerating, among other things.
The Daily Protection Of Your Guardian Angels
Our guardian angels are always around. I have witnessed their work and protection many times throughout my adult life. Earlier tonight, I had a sobering reminder of this.
The miracle of divine intervention often is all about divine timing. If we had been a mere 60 seconds further down the road on our drive home today, we may have become another tragic statistic. Instead, we witnessed a horrific accident scene this evening that happened about a minute before we arrived on the scene!
What kept us from being the vehicle hit? What kept us back, just far enough to not be in that accident? Our guardian angels, of course! This is why I offer gratitude daily to the angels for keeping me and my family safe.
We were the first to arrive at the accident scene, and while I was calling the emergency services, I silently said a prayer for those involved. I also gave thanks to Archangel Michael for the protection he has always provided me since I started to work with him.
To process my shock I even jokingly said, “You know, Archangel Michael, sixty seconds is maybe still too close for comfort, wouldn’t you say?” The message I got in return was more serious: “Sheri, I don’t want you to be complacent and too self-satisfied in life. These moments teach appreciation and faith.”
I know my husband was also rattled by what he saw – he was the one that went to the hit vehicle. I just could not do it. However, I held him in Archangel Michael’s cloak until we were released from the scene.
As I watched the earth angels from the fire department cut the people out of their vehicle, and witnessed the kindness of the police that came to close the roads, direct the traffic and check on everyone involved in the accident, I had a sense of calm come over me. I felt a ‘knowing’ that I was there for a reason.