freedom
Isolation Is An Opportunity For Deeper Practice
In the challenging circumstances we are now facing all over the world, many people are facing a period of self-isolation, social distancing, and even quarantine, in the interest of public health. Despite its impact on our lives and economy, a lot of good can also come from this, as it can be approached as an opportunity for spiritual retreat and inner growth.
In many spiritual traditions, solitude and isolation is actually considered essential. And it is not a spiritual practice reserved only for gurus, monks or initiates. It is in fact recommended for everyone to spend some alone time with their thoughts, and their spiritual practice.
Now, I am not talking about a luxury weekend retreat somewhere, on a sunny coast, in the mountains, or in a quaint monastery with beautiful gardens and amazing food. That sort of thing you can do any time of the year, and simply call it vacation!
Isolation is the doorway to an internal practice that leads to a more stable, fulfilled life, among other things. Why more stable? Because everything that we do in isolation, even if we are living with someone else, resonates in our mind in a much deeper sense than usual. Of course, if you do live with a partner or family, there is also the option of doing these practices together, but solitary is usually best.
If you regularly meditate, or pray, or repeat mantras, alone and without distractions, you will feel the powerful ‘echoes’ of those practices energetically. This is true and easy to see, as long as you do not turn on the TV immediately afterwards. I call this a deeper practice.
Finding The Calm Within
Be afraid. Yes, be afraid. Be so very afraid! We are currently being bombarded with this message, not only daily, but hourly. People are very worried, anxious and fearful for a variety of valid reasons. To be honest, I believe our greatest source of anxiety is that we no longer seem to have much control over our lives.
In the modern world we have become so conditioned to mindless purchasing, consuming, and discarding, that we hardly give much thought anymore to our daily habits and lifestyle choices, whether useful or not. We also expect and demand certain privileges and freedoms, and it is shocking to have our normal, everyday routines disrupted, especially when we have no idea when things will return to normal.
I feel this is actually the most frightening aspect of the current circumstances for most people. We feel that we have lost control over our lives. And every morning, we tune back into our daily update of doom, gloom and negative dialogue, which of course only resets our fright buttons!
A better way to start your day would be to take a few minutes to reconnect to the safe and secure part of yourself, namely the inner spirit. Here, all is well, all is serene, and all is safe. Become mindful of your breathing and calm your mind. Then do a visualization that creates a sense of joy, peace and serenity.
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Take Negative Emotions All The Way Home
When life gets tough or something happens to upset me, whether it be big or small, I make it a point to become very quiet and mindful. I do this to get clear, so that I can see all sides of a situation, as well as stay open to learning any possible spiritual lessons that are being offered.
Typically, there’s a strong emotion linked to what has occurred. If I can allow it to be there in a calm way, I can start to see the situation from a clearer perspective.
If the situation involves being hurt, for example, I take some time out – long enough to not hastily defend myself or problem-solve. Doing this creates an opening where the Divine can step in and take over.
I like to think of it as having a weight on me and imagining a group of cherub angels coming along to lift the heavy burden emotions I’m experiencing. They then take it from me and fly away. Though this is just a visualization, there is great relief at times in turning situations over to a higher power.
I have noticed, as I get older, that certain things that used to bother me so much, and would take weeks or months to get over, I now release in just a day, or even a couple of hours. This is because I no longer allow myself to be overwhelmed by the emotion in the moment.
I believe what helps to accomplish this is going beyond the difficult emotion, into a realm or a land less frequented. I refer to is as “taking it all the way home.” What I mean by this is to examine what it is I am most afraid of.
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!
The Linear Time Trap Of The Past
It is said we do not know what time is. We also do not know where it comes from, and we definitely do not know where it goes! And according to Albert Einstein, the famous physicist, the distinction between past, present and future is only an illusion, because space and time are fluid. Yes, such are the mysteries of the fourth dimension.
Linear time may be an illusion in scientific terms, but in our daily life it is still the time that we cannot stop or control. That clock keeps on ticking, and the cycles of night and day will forever come and go. Every morning, the sun shall continue to rise, and the Earth will progress on its annual journey around the Sun.
However, our experience of time goes beyond the everyday linear. Did you know that there is also such a thing as spiritual time?
Surely you have observed that whenever you are doing something really unpleasant or boring, time can certainly drag on. For example, I recently had to wait for some medical tests that would determine whether or not I was developing breast cancer. Thankfully, the tests came back negative, but I remember thinking of those awful four weeks of hospital visits and biopsies as being the ‘longest month of my life!’
On the other hand, time can also pass so quickly whenever we are having a good time and enjoying ourselves. Why would this be? Well, when you are really delighted with something, your soul, your spirit, your higher self becomes fully engaged in the pleasant experience you are having. In simple terms, when this happens, you literally lose track of linear, reality time itself and your personal, spiritual time shifts to the front. This is the time of your true spiritual self.
The Key Is In Your Hands
I received a lovely necklace as a gift recently, with a beautiful center stone and a small ‘skeleton key’ at the bottom. A skeleton key is a type of master key in which the serrated edge has been removed so that it can open numerous locks .I’ve seen these keys before, and remembered vaguely the symbolism, but I decided to refresh my knowledge by researching further the significance of this symbol.
Katie Pifer writes that keys have had a variety of spiritual symbolisms attached to it “for as long as man has had locks. They are connected with gateways and portals, doorways to the unknown, knowledge, mysteries, powers, initiations, new ways, forbidden things and answers to curious questions.”
Keys symbolize our ability to gain access to those things of either a material or spiritual nature that are of the greatest importance to us. The key is an object symbolic not only of opening doors to new paths that align with our desires, but also closing and locking doors to those things that we wish to leave behind.
Skeleton keys are considered to be a more powerful symbol, since they can open many different locks. Thus, they have been perceived to be the powerful ‘keys to the Kingdom,’ or the key to that someone special’s heart, and so on.
Skeleton Keys are traditionally also worn as powerful amulets. It is thought to be good luck to touch a key when you are entering a challenging or dangerous situation, because keys are believed to keep you safe. They are also symbolic of transformation, freedom and liberation.