emotional risk
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are:
Balancing Sun And Moon Energies
The Sun and Moon have very different metaphysical energies and we are strongly affected by both. For example, a circumstance or event that might make you sad during the day, may completely wipe you out emotionally at night. This is because our hormones shift at night.
I worked for many years teaching prenatal Yoga and helping expectant moms. Their emotions typically ran very high at night. Their concerns about labor was latent in their thoughts during the day, but at night they would sometimes become terrified. Most women also go into labor at night and give birth during the day.
Things become surreal at night. I believe our hormones, the Moon’s energy, and a lessened ability to see in the darkness all greatly affect us.
At night, the right side of the brain is dominant. This is our spiritual, intuitive, subconscious, feminine side. During the day, the left hemisphere of the brain is dominant. This is our practical, thinking, productive physical, masculine side.
The left side of the body is controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain and is Sun-based, while the right side of the body is controlled by the left hemisphere and is Moon based. The Moon exudes feminine energy. The feminine rules the right side of the brain, which is the maternal, emotional, creative, dreamy side. The Sun rules the left side of the brain, which is the paternal side which rules logic, production, protection, and work.
When you are having difficulty sleeping it is usually because the left hemisphere of the brain has kicked in when it should be inactive. This is when you start thinking about all the things you need to do the next day, or the stressful challenges you faced the day prior.
Beware The Power Of The Quartz Crystal
I love crystals and stones and have traveled all over the world to retrieve some of these beautiful gems of color and purpose. They carry with them amazing energy and metaphysical healing properties.
I have used crystals and stones very successfully in helping many of my clients rebalance and heal their lives, be it for the purpose of health, love, relationship, career, business, finances, or personal growth. Working with stones can assist you in achieving your goals and fulfilling your needs.
There is however one stone that I respect and revere more than the others, to the extent that I never recommend it as a ‘quick-fix’ remedy to others. This precious mineral is the pure quartz crystal. It is a very powerful energy conductor that essentially has a ‘mind of its own.’ It has no compassion, just purpose. Its energy is very direct.
The clear quartz is a stone that needs to be used to do a specific job of goodwill or serve a benevolent purpose, because it can magnify energies as much as tenfold and even higher. It must be used with great respect, for it can be harmful and even dangerous if used carelessly.
A clear quartz crystal casually worn as jewelry, for example, amplifies your mood and personality. If you are at peace with yourself and the world, and in a happy place, you will experience even more joy and happiness, and also spread it to everyone around you. But if you are angry, anxious, or depressed, the exact opposite will be true.
In other words, a little road rage, for example, could escalate to a disastrous scenario if you happen to be wearing a quartz crystal pendant. Oh my, things could get very bad! I therefore do not recommend people wear quartz crystals as everyday jewelry, because even the slightest shift in mood or emotional reaction could create havoc and derail the wearer’s day.
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.
The Key To A Lasting Relationship Is Inner Peace
One of the most consistent issues that often come up in relationship readings is what I call the ‘peace vibe.’ And this kind of inner peace is associated with our capacity to trust in an abundant universe. Most of my clients believe there is a divine power greater than us, but trusting that this power can help us create a positive momentum in our lives is another story entirely!
It is said that Albert Einstein once remarked that the most important decision we have to make in this life is whether we believe in a friendly, or hostile universe. This is the foundational question when talking about whether we are in the ‘vibe of peace,’ or not. If someone is constantly waiting for the proverbial ‘shoe to drop,’ they are likely not living in peace.
You see, our point of attraction is determined by our vibes (energy vibration), which is why inner peace is such an important concept in manifesting a lasting, successful relationship. Trust is the key foundation for all relationships. Sure, all relationships also pose an element of risk, but a hyper-focus on the risk will only create a mental and emotional environment that does not facilitate a happy and healthy relationship. In fact, with my experience of doing love and relationship readings for the past 20 years, I would go as far as to say that without trust there really is no relationship.
So, how does this work? Well, have you ever noticed that highly critical people will always find something or someone to judge or criticize? There is never a lack of reasons for criticism from disapproving or disparaging people. The same is also true when there is a lack of inner peace. Chaos naturally follows chaotic people, while people who choose serenity and joy experience more serenity and joy in their lives.