criticism
Small Gestures Of Kindness In A Time Of Cruelty
People are feeling anxious and uncertain with what has been happening in the world in recent months. Many are fearful and stressed, and unsure how to act appropriately in these strange times. Some act out in destructive or dramatic ways, taking their frustration out on others.
It is common knowledge that the digital age and social media has spawned a generation of computer warriors and online bullies who express their insecurities and fears, in often extremely mean and cruel ways, from the comfort of their living rooms and basements. This savage lack of empathy and decorum has seemingly now spilt over into our streets and neighborhoods too, in the midst of a global pandemic.
It is easier for many to be critical and judgmental, to complain and argue, instead of facing facts, dealing with the truth and seeking lasting solutions. Often not knowing the entire story, many people choose to see only see one side of things, while telling others off for disagreeing with their limited point of view. The computer has unfortunately given some people a platform to spread strife and hatred, instead of love, hope and kindness.
I pray that more people will strive to seek the truth and learn to look for the good and kind in others. Showing tolerance, patience and kindness is always the better, more open approach. And always remember that if someone attacks you directly, then it often means they are somehow struggling or hurting. It usually serves no real purpose to attack them back.
Protect Your Energy From Toxic People
It is vital to protect ourselves energetically from toxic, negative people. It is essential to our health and well-being. To one degree or another we’ve all have experienced negative, toxic people. These people are sometimes easy to detect, but not always.
The most typical scenario I have encountered is the unkind or rude family member, or distant relative. These are also the most difficult to dealt with, because we often time have no choice but to spend time with them at family events and gatherings. Usually we feel we have no choice in the matter, bit this is actually not true. We do have a choice.
We don’t have to attend every family event. If you know the toxic person is going to be there, you simply don’t have to rise to the occasion. Stop feeling guilty for not attending. Of course, there are usually other family members who make you feel like you have to be there. “It just won’t be Christmas without you,” they might say. But what it really comes down to is your personal well-being. Sure, you may only have to absorb their negative energy once or twice a year, but just like once you have heard something disturbing you can’t ‘unhear’ it, once you have had the experience it is now a part of your memories.
I prefer to be proactive when it comes to managing my energy. And we do have the right to decide who we choose to spend time with, or not. I prefer spending time with those relatives and friends who are compassionate and kind, instead of those who lack tact, are rude, cruel and inconsiderate. I prefer to avoid those who think their opinions are fact, and who are constantly dropping poison upon others with their negative comments. Not okay. Not ever.
How To Be A Good Friend
I just read a blog written by a spiritual person feeling angry and lonely. She had reached out to a trusted friend, but the friend only wanted to talk about her own problems. And when she did pay some attention to her plight, the best the friend could offer was to be judgmental and unsympathetic. The author then also reached out for support on a social media group for spiritually aware people. Again, all of the members did the same thing her friend did: they judged!
The woman was having problems with her abusive neighbor and many people on the forum were giving advice for her to leave. They told her to move, find a better place to live, relocate. “Moving is 100% your choice,” one person commented. The first thing I thought was no, it isn’t. This particular woman, for example, had bought the house and had put a lot of money into renovating the house. She would need to sell, at a time when not many things are selling, and possibly suffer a significant financial loss.
Some even told her to get more exercise, so that she can relax and focus on other things. They told her she was responsible for her own choice of reactions and feelings in the situation. The only insensitive, stereotypical thing they didn’t say was to take a breath and calm down. Don’t you just hate it when someone says that? It does everything, but calm you down!
The people responding, in their judgment, needed to feel superior. It was about them, not her. Her responses were defensive, understandably. I felt by her response, they made her feel more lonely. Poor woman.
Get Rid Of The ‘Moldy Blueberries’ In Your Life
Positive energy spreads, and is infectious. Think about the positive, optimistic people in your life and how, whenever they walk into a room with their laughter, smiles and humor, they just raise the vibration of the entire room. Of course, excluding the really negative people in the room, who choose to remain impervious.
Yes, positive energy is contagious, but so too is negative energy. Just like the mildew on one bad blueberry, kept in a container with other blueberries, it spreads mildew and rot to all the other blueberries around it.
I remember walking into my dance studio one day, many years ago, and finding most of the moms, who had kids in my class, in the waiting room. I took this opportunity to show them the children’s costumes for our upcoming dance recital. The moms were instantly in love with the outfits. Some even became sentimental and teary-eyed. They commented excitedly on all of the bright sequins, the colors and styles. They all talked enthusiastically about how much they loved it, and how truly beautiful these designs were.
Then one mom arrived late, while I was in the office. I could not be seen by the group of mothers, but I could hear them. The late-arriving mom noticed the costumes and immediately began to complain about every aspect of it. She was very critical and felt they were “cheap-looking.” She even claimed that the moms had all been “ripped off” and that I over charged them.
The Rosary Reflections Of A Spiritualist
Some of us are merely going through the motions every day, doing what we think others expect of us, doing the ‘should’ we put on ourselves. Living life by rote. I equate this to saying prayer beads. It becomes almost an unconscious act. So, when something unexpected happens, like the coronavirus pandemic, and we are forced to slow down, or even come to a complete halt, we are suddenly confronted with our own truths.
For some of us, the only things that then come to mind are all the things that we perceive we have done ‘wrong’ in the past. We feel guilt over all the people we have disappointed or hurt. We mourn the relationships that did not go the distance. We obsess over the skeletons in our own personal closet.
When we get into this mindset of shame and regret, it affects our immune system and our well-being. The ‘poor me, bad me, angry me’ turns into a very ‘toxic me.’ When the world seems to be falling apart, the mind does a life review. We let the fear and regret creep in. What if there really is an afterlife, even if you have always said, “I don’t believe in heaven and hell.” The ‘what if’s’ in life can really do a number on us. When faced with uncertain times it is only natural to think about our own mortality, and our failures and past mistakes.
One thing I find that really helps, is to reflect on the good memories. Let the unpleasant ones come and go, and not reside in your mind. Thoughts are such powerful things, especially when you are still reflecting on things at 3am in the morning, while you should be sleeping. These worries and bad memories are usually things we can’t do anything about, even if we desperately want to.
When things seem out of control, flip the switch. Reflect instead on all the things you have accomplished. Think about things in your life that have brought you great joy. Times that even one person said good job. People that have said “I hear you,” and “you matter to me.”
How To Find Your Inner Peace
Around the world we are being faced with a crisis situation that is bringing many negative feelings to the surface. Fear, anxiety, sadness, confusion, mistrust, frustration, anger. How you are faring during this time? What emotional responses are coming to the surface for you?
I have been following the news around the world. I have seen some leaders scoff at and make light of the situation, while others take it extremely seriously. There seems to be no unanimity or consistency in the messages we receive, and there appears to be a lack of consensus among the leadership and experts.
How then can we as individuals find inner peace and unity in all this chaos? The following guidelines may be helpful to you in the days ahead.
Turn Off The News
First things first: reduce your daily exposure to the news, and fact check everything you do choose to pay attention to. Most of all, do not believe everything you see on social media! Many of the stories going around are false reports, conspiracy theories and fake news. Some media outlets are also creating more fear and drama than we should have to deal with. Remember that in many cases sensationalism often equals sales. Choose your sources carefully and listen to your inner guidance and follow your intuition.
Love Is The Healing Force
I grew up in a Christian family. In fact, it was going to seminary, and exploring world religions, that eventually led me to practice metaphysics and intuitive consulting as a full-time profession. Being trained and ordained in a Christian organization has also given me a unique perspective on alternative spirituality and metaphysics.
Jesus is, in fact, one of the spiritual guides I connect with when I work with people. This has made me realize that Jesus, the central figure in Christianity, is often misunderstood by many people. In the many years of connecting with Jesus, I am confident that he never had the intention to create a formal, organized religion. In fact, often the religious attributes attached to Jesus are far more complex than his original core message.
Jesus taught very simple strategies for life. I think sometimes these strategies are considered too simple by some people. When asked, Jesus was able to sum up his teachings in three simple statements. Someone inquired about an authentic spiritual path and Jesus gave two commandments and then gave a third statement, “In these two commandments rest all of the law and the prophets.”
This third statement is quite profound. He was stating that every spiritual text that had ever been written, or would ever be written, could be summed up in two commandments. This means that in Jesus’ perspective, if a person simply abided by these two commandments, they would be fulfilling the fundamental guidelines associated with religious and spiritual practice.
If you are interested in Jesus’ teachings, or interested in following the path he taught, then the good news is that you are already following the second ‘commandment.’ I have been living on this planet long enough to recognize that every person is already following this second commandment, which says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”