communication
Communication Is Key To A Healthy Relationship
The one thing we all want in life is to really be seen and heard. We also have the right to our own opinion and to not be judged for the way we think or feel. When we become good communicators, our interactions with others become so much easier and more constructive.
A common reason why many relationships end is because a couple just don’t seem to be able to communicate their thoughts and feelings clearly to each other. Yes, sometimes it really is that simple.
But expressing your intent clearly, so others understand without a doubt what is being said, is not easy when you feel the person you are trying to talk to is only ‘half listening’ to you.
When giving a psychic medium reading one of the biggest complaints about a relationship issue that I often hear is that my client’s partner “never listens” to them. When they try to talk about important things, the other person changes the subject or remains distracted. They don’t care enough about the other persons feelings to even discuss the topic.
Not only being able to communicate clearly but also being a good listener is the foundation for a healthy, fulfilling, and lasting relationship. When we really listen to what other people are saying, it shows respect and caring for the person or situation being discussed. When people feel they are heard, it encourages them to open up and share their feelings and opinions.
When you would like to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone, your facial expressions and posture say a lot before you even begin to speak. When you sit down to discuss any issue with your arms crossed, for example, it does not convey “I’m open to what you have to say.” When you fidget or keep looking at your phone, it sends the message you can’t wait to talk, or the phone is more important than the conversation. When you try to make eye contact it translates as caring enough to pay attention. When you are speaking to anyone, and they do the old eye roll that sends a clear direct message of how they feel.
Neglecting Your Own Needs Will Destroy Your Relationship
Some people are in really toxic relationships without realizing it. How do you know for sure if you are in a bad relationship? Well, often it is as simple as asking yourself a few basic questions.
Am I safe? Am I truly happy? Do I feel loved and supported? Are my most important needs being met? If you answer no to any of these, you may need to reassess your relationship.
Some people get caught in a dead-end relationship trap. They feel trapped and do not know how to get out of a bad situation. It can be very hard to leave someone you love. But sometimes that is what me must do in order to love ourselves.
A leading cause of failing relationships is often a lack of open, honest communication about our hopes, dreams, fears, and needs. It is very hard sometimes to bring up a subject that is uncomfortable, but remember that you deserve to be happy. It does not serve anyone to put your own needs last.
Self-worth also plays a major role. Do not put your own needs aside because you fear you cannot do better. Stay true to what is most important to you and ask for what you want!
If your current partner cannot meet your needs or refuses to respect your wishes, maybe your future does not align with theirs. Finding the right person is really what you need to do to be true to you and who you are.
Attracting Your Vibrational Match Online
Does online dating actually work for people wanting to meet their soulmate? This is a question I have been asked many times in readings. Well, if I simply consider the many success stories I know of among my clients over the years, I can confidently confirm that it certainly does work. I know personally of a few lovely matches made online and they are still going strong.
However, from personal experience I can also add that I have learned the hard way that it is important to set up a proper profile and use the dating site or app wisely. The information you put on your profile is so important. You want to do your best to attract a ´vibrational match.’
My own online dating journey was initiated by a friend who was very familiar with online dating. In fact, she had actually met her soulmate online. Sadly, he passed away from an unexpected illness. A year later she was going online once more, ad she invited me along for the adventure. She encouraged me (or perhaps even dared me) to give it a go!
So, late one night, I created a profile on a well-known dating app, browsed a few profiles, and went to bed. The next morning, I had several messages in my inbox from men who wanted to connect. Since I was so new to this, I freaked out and called my friend in a flap panic!
With a school-teacher tone of voice, she patiently asked me ‘which way I had swiped’ whilst looking at profiles.
“I am not sure,” was my naïve response.
There was a pause on her end…and then raucous laughter, because apparently, I had inadvertently been telling just about every guy in my area that I ´liked´ them by swiping right. I quickly unsubscribed. No thanks, that was enough for my first try.
Leave Some Space For Grace
When I read energy, it is shown to me in terms of the strength of that energy. In other words, the strength of the energy is directly tied to its manifestation here in the physical realm. As above, so below.
When we are angry or in conflict, we are often heavily invested in simply being right. And the more the argument evolves… the more virulent the energy becomes. This is never a hopeful, healthy precursor to manifesting better things in our life.
Fortunately, there is the powerful spiritual and emotional energy that love and forgiveness can also manifest in our lives, to counteract the impact of negative emotional energies.
A sister to the energies of love and forgiveness that is not always afforded equal honor, bit is equally powerful is the gift of grace. You may have heard of ‘grace under pressure?’ Essayist William Hazlitt defines grace as “the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.”
So, what is grace? Webster’s Dictionary defines grace as both a noun and a verb. Noun: unmerited favor, kindness undeserved. Verb: to confer dignity or honor on, or to add beauty to.
Grace is the ‘breath’ we take between anger and forgiveness. It is a choice to be silent, hold our tongue, and open the door for peace to enter into a challenging situation.
Angels naturally possess infinite grace, and many times the angels I work with have to remind me to hold my tongue, think before I speak, and simply be silent and listen to the person I am angry with. Being heard even if we are not understood is very validating. It says to the other person, “you are important to me, what you are feeling and thinking matters to me”. What you give you will receive.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
Believing In Miracles
The most amazing miracle I have ever witnessed was the birth of my daughter and my three granddaughters. Life itself is a miracle, and a mystery. But while some of us feel even the smallest thing is a miracle, others take everything for granted and do not give much thought at all to the unexplained.
Some people refuse to believe anything is a miracle. They only trust in the natural laws of physics. For them only seeing is believing, and nothing else is possible. Natural law has no tolerance for mysteries, much less miracles.
It is natural for people to be suspicious of what they do not understand. But people used to think the world is flat, because that is what they saw when they looked at the horizon.
So, my granddaughters finally talked me into getting a smart phone. Believe me, for a person my age, this gadget is indeed a miracle, and a mystery!
When I was a teenager, my boyfriend lived a few towns away. The only communication device we had in those days was a rotary dial wall phone. I had to sit on the kitchen floor to talk to him for only ten minutes at a time, because our household shared the line with two othertechamilies!
I remember I used to think: if only I could see him while we talk. Imagine that! In 1970 that certainly would have been a miracle. Well, what seemed an impossible fantasy back then is now the modern miracle of video chat and messenger apps.
The fact that my young granddaughters are so proficient with all the new digital technology is also a miracle to me. For them, this is just the way it is – it’s nothing miraculous in their minds. Continue reading
Making Time For Our Loved Ones
With our hectic schedules in a fast-paced digital world, and everyone seeming to need something urgently, our lives can be crammed with to-do lists featuring mountains of tasks, duties, and obligations.
Sometimes it is hard to believe how quickly the time goes by and how long it’s been since we’ve last spent quality time with family and relatives. Social media ‘likes’ can never substitute meaningful interaction and connection with our loved ones.
We must create opportunities to maintain these connections, foster better relationships, and touch base with young and old. We will regret not doing so someday, when it is no longer possible or viable. I have been witness to many of my clients over the years having to reach out to their loved ones in spirit with a mediumship reading, because many things were never said or shared while they were still in this life.
For years, I used to call my 95-year-old aunt every weekend. She lives about 3,500 kilometers away in a different province. So, I haven’t seen her in a few years, more recently specifically due to the Covid-19 pandemic.
She is the last remaining relative in our family from that generation, on both sides of the family. She doesn’t hear well anymore, so the calls usually aren’t very long, but she always tells me how much she appreciates hearing my voice.
My dear aunt still has a wonderful sense of humor and sometimes she enjoys reminiscing about my mom and her other siblings. Although she has four grown children, as well as grandchildren and great grandchildren, it always seems to bring a spark of joy to her day whenever we catch up and share a quick story or two.