Posts Tagged ‘guilt’
A very good friend passed away recently. She left behind five children, and each of them was questioning why they didn’t do more to help their mom prolong her life, despite the fact that this very loving soul was in pain most of the time and had an extremely lonely existence.
She no longer had what one might call a ‘good quality of life.’ But they have taken it upon themselves to hold one another responsible to keep her on this plane, when it was becoming increasingly clear she was so very prepared to leave.
We discussed the situation at length and some of the siblings were finally convinced their mother’s time of passing had very little to do with them. If they had no bearing as to when she entered the planet, why on earth would they have a say as to when she could leave? Read the rest of this entry »
Some of us are ‘can do’ people, while others are always saying, “No can do.” Who would you rather be? This has given me food for thought. What do I really tell myself about my own abilities? Can I really do what I want to do, or am I going to do whatever it may be?
Some people tell themselves that they are not smart enough to do what they want to do for their life’s work. Their mind is already made up. No can do. They go through life accepting and settling for their second, or even third choice.
Others have the attitude, when told they can’t possibly do something, they will show the world they can accomplish anything they choose to do. They believe they can achieve anything they put their mind too. Read the rest of this entry »
At an early age, I learned to use logic when others caused me to feel a pang of guilt. That’s how I neutralize guilt trips. I deal with it directly by discussion with the other person, stating my true intentions. I simply make it clear that they interpreted my intentions incorrectly, for example.
Female members of my extended family tended to ‘play the guilt card’ when their expectations were not being met, such as when I was not visiting them often enough. But if their desire to see me came from pure joy and love, it would come from the heart. I would feel loved, not guilty! And I told them this straight up. Read the rest of this entry »
It is okay to say no. As a matter of fact, it is imperative to learn to say no, and stick with it. We observe that many of you try to be all things to all people. You run yourselves ragged, physically and emotionally, trying to please other people.
You put others ahead of yourselves and then become frustrated and angry when you have no time left for your own personal lives. This is exhausting, stressful and becomes completely unrealistic over time.
The challenge in setting healthy personal boundaries often arises when it becomes difficult to prioritize your own needs and desires against the expectations of others. Since when do these people rule your roost? Since when are their expectations more valid or important than your own peace of mind, ideas or schedules? Why do you give them such power over your dreams, goals, ambitions and life? Read the rest of this entry »
We all like to be perceived as a nice person, and it can go very much against the grain if we were to be seen as otherwise! Therefore, should we have an argument with a dear friend or colleague, and as a result take on board blame for something we are actually not responsible for, we immediately start to feel unhappy.
Spirit teaches that while it is most necessary to acknowledge any actions we have made, or any part we have played in an argument, guilt can but only exaggerate any feelings of remorse! Furthermore, when we allow guilt, for whatever reason, to build up within ourselves, we may even take on board the idea that we are a ‘bad person’ and do not, therefore, deserve the best in life. Read the rest of this entry »