Is Your Partner Cheating?

In recent years I have been getting an increasing number of calls from married people wanting to know about another person they are interested in, or someone with whom they have been cheating on their spouse. In fact, I have several clients who are married, but are also dating and having sexual intimacy with people outside their marriage.

Interestingly, I get more calls from women than men who are cheating. Often times I see that the person they are having the affair with is much more compatible with them, compared to their current spouse. I never judge, my clients who call with such questions have always commented to me how they love how I don’t judge, or lecture them, or voice my personal opinion. I always treat my clients with the utmost respect and am blessed that they are calling me to get the best possible answers, insight and information I can possibly give.

I feel like a traitor, a phony, a fake. But I am a hypocrite with the best intentions, and I need kissing desperately ~ Coco J. Ginger

I don’t judge, because I haven’t had to walk every day in their shoes and I know better than to judge. Nobody is blameless or perfect in this life. I also know that is not my job to judge others, and I wouldn’t want that responsibility or job, to be honest.

According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy about 74% of husbands and 68% of wives say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught. I found that to be very disheartening.

The six signs of a cheating spouse

According to the infidelity investigators at PInow.com there are specific signs that may indicate that your spouse is cheating:

1. Change in intimacy

2. Suspicious phone habits

3. Change in grooming and appearance.

4. Suspicious Internet use

5. Change in work routine

6. Change in bathing habits

I find this to be so interesting. I can only speak for myself and say, where cheating or infidelity is concerned, I have always subscribed to the idea that if someone is going to cheat, why not just leave? Why stay with someone if your not happy with them, to the point in which your going to cheat on them?

You didn’t just cheat on me; you cheated on us. You didn’t just break my heart; you broke our future ~ Steve Maraboli

Why do partners cheat?

According to statistics women cheat for different reasons than men. Women cheat because they feel they are being taken for granted, they are lonely, they aren’t connecting with their husbands, they aren’t getting that eye to eye contact.

Men sometimes will cheat for the same reasons, but more times than women they are happy in their marriage and would like to stay in it. Women, when they cheat, are not happy in their marriage. I found that to be a serious source of concern. In today’s world with so many sexually transmitted diseases, it can get really dangerous, not to mention the potential for emotional damage.

When I remote view and go in and see the domino effect of cheating in a family setting, where there are children involved, I see that it is has a devastating impact on them the most. It damages their self esteem and it can change their view of love and intimacy.

I find this topic of cheating very interesting and you can expect more blogs from me about this in future, as I personally want to do more research and maybe try and understand why men cheat even when they are in happy marriages. I also want to learn why women cheat who are in unhappy marriages, and what the fear of leaving is all about. I think there is a fear of change perhaps? Either way, when we cheat we cheat ourselves in one way shape or form. I will delve deeper into this in future in my blogs.