self-care
The World Needs Highly Sensitive People
You’re being way too sensitive. Get over yourself. Don’t take everything so personally. Why are you being such a cry baby?
If you are a highly sensitive person (HSP) you have probably had others say such things to you at some point. But there is nothing wrong with you. According to renowned HSP researcher Dr. Elaine Aron, your sensitivity trait is perfectly normal. In fact, it is found in 15 to 20 percent of the population, which is way too many people for it to be a ‘disorder.’ However, it is still rare or exceptional enough to be misunderstood by most people around you, if they are part of the remaining 80 percent ‘non-sensitive’ population.
The highly sensitive person has increased sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli. It is also referred to by some experts as having sensory processing sensitivity. HSPs are more reactive, for example, to negativity, unpleasant emotion, or violence.
Because much of western culture is dominated by extroverted types, the more reflective, introspective HSP sometimes feel lost in the shuffle. They are the ones who need extra time to process things, who may sit by ourselves, or in like-minded pairs, at a large gathering.
HSPs seek to form deeper bonds and keep the peace instead of fighting. A noisy, chaotic, and rude world is often very overwhelming for them. It can be especially difficult for HSP men in a misogynist society, since many of the HSP traits are not celebrated as traditionally ‘masculine.’
The truth is that the world needs HSPs and their unique gifts. The HSP’s abilities to console, nurture, heal, and build relationships are invaluable for humanity. We all want a world where universal qualities like justice, empathy, and honesty are celebrated and practiced.
At work, they are the types who notice everything and attend to the smallest details, though they may often be overlooked for promotion. In family life, they are the ones who settle disagreements and find common ground. In the political world, they are diplomats and peace-keepers.
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
How To Heal Your Broken Heart
In the 1960’s Roy Orbison belted out the song, It’s Over. Even at four years of age, it stirred my emotions hearing it on the radio. In 1984, I heard the exact same words from a man I very much loved and believed to be ‘the one.’ Thankfully, he was not, but that is another story.
He turned to me and said, “We’re not a good match.”
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. My heart jumped and my knees turned to jelly. I felt so lost and alone, as well as almost every other negative emotion possible…from anger and hurt, to frustration and hopelessness. All these emotions coursed through my body like a freight train.
How was I going to cope without him in my life? What will become of me? What do I do now that it is over?
At 24 years of age, I did not have much experience dealing with loss, disappointment, and grief as I do today. Today, as a practicing psychic with many years of professional experience, I would offer my younger self the following spiritual advice regarding healing a broken heart.
Acknowledge
I believe we can also mourn the living, just as much as we grieve for someone who has passed away. Indeed, acknowledging finality, in whatever form the finality presents itself, can be a challenging thing to do, especially if you are emotionally involved with someone. That said, it is much better than holding onto false hope, which is far worse. Continue reading
Recycle Your Blessings This Winter Season
As we approach winter in the northern hemisphere, let us be inspired by the seasonal change. Look around and observe nature as it prepares itself for a period of dormancy that leads to renewal and rebirth in the spring.
Change is the catalyst for growth in our lives. Some choose to think of winter as an unpleasant, ‘lifeless’ time, but in truth it is a golden opportunity to connect with the deeper realms of our mind and soul.
Embrace the profound stillness that this season offers and use the longer nights as opportunity for conscious self-reflection. Sit with this stillness and claim your majestic place on the sacred throne that was created solely for you.
Take back your personal power from the turbulence of the outer world and allow the chatter to grow quiet. Trust that in the midst of your most pressing thoughts and that which nags your soul, there is the Divine right path to oneness, healing, balance, peace, reconciliation, spiritual recognition, and soul empowerment.
Along with the obvious holiday cheer, this is one of the many gifts of the winter season; connecting to the eternal flame of the universe that shines on each of us.
As I ponder the personal changes I wish to embark on, I am reminded that nothing new can happen without letting go of the old. Many years ago, a dear friend implemented an annual winter ritual of clearing her closet of personal items she no longer desired. This is always performed just before the New Year.
I recall asking whether she was maybe acting too hastily in letting go of some of her prized possessions, as some of the discarded items were relatively new. She responded that she was creating space for new gifts to enter her life, while passing the old on to others who might be blessed by receiving it. My friend essentially spoke of recycling her blessings, a concept that was new to me at the time. And in doing so, she created a special karma for herself that opened the path for new delights to enter her life.
Banish Fear With The Power Of The Heart
I woke up from a powerful dream this morning. I was on the top floor of a high-rise building that had been struck by lightning. The building slowly started to move, to quake. I could see from the window neighboring structures being destroyed, and I sensed my own building’s collapse was imminent…with me inside it!
Could I make it down the stairs in time? I was about to try, but my exit was delayed by a pair of sparkling opal earrings that I simply had to take with me! But I could not manage to hold onto them for long. They kept slipping out of my hand, while the apocalypse was happening all around me.
I just had to bring the blingy earbobs – I am a Taurus, after all.
Then, as I gazed at the two little treasures, a stark truth hit me. I suddenly realized these material things do not matter in life and it shouldn’t delay me further. I also understood for some reason that the earrings now belonged to someone else and would bring them much joy in future. So, I returned the jewelry to the table where I found it…just before my building finally came crashing down.
Certainly, a lot to unpack. Temptation, ownership, materialism, impermanence, spiritual values, mortality, life goals.
But let’s get back to the dream.
Somehow, incredulously, like in a Marvel Comics adventure, I landed outside, unharmed. Then I found myself on a raft, with my immediate family all suddenly with me. We were rapidly floating together down a river.
Then it was time for us to get off, before we got hurt, but we were reluctant to do so. Suddenly, there was a friendly tribe of indigenous people on the bank of the river, expectantly waiting for us by a wall. So, we felt safe to dive off the raft, and we did so. The tribe members showed us the way through a hidden opening in the wall, and we all made it out safely to someplace new!
Embracing The Uncertainty Of Change
One of the earliest life lessons I had to learn the hard way is that change is the only thing that ever consistently happens in life. We cannot avoid it. It is fundamental to our journey in this lifetime to learn to embrace change, as without it we cannot grow and evolve as spiritual beings.
Yet, change causes much fear and apprehension for many people. It can be daunting. This is in fact one of the reasons why clients contact me for advice and predictions. In life it is vital to always be prepared for change.
Being mentally and emotionally prepared gives us a greater sense of control over any forthcoming event and thus alleviate some of its stress. Who wants to remain stagnant anyway? It is vital to look for the good that change can bring, rather than dwell on any potential negative impact it could bring about. We need to take on board the necessity to learn and strengthen from it.
Change comes in many forms. For example, it is estimated some people change their homes up to eight times in their lifespan. How stressful is that? But instead of focusing too heavily on the downside, such as the stress of buying, selling and packing, spirit advises we see a new home as a beautiful new chapter in our lives. Think of it as an exciting fresh start and allow yourself time to adjust. You may soon be happier in your new abode than you could ever imagine!
Beginning a new job is equally stressful. For whatever reason you find yourself in new employment, the very thought of walking into a new workplace on a Monday morning, meeting new colleagues in unfamiliar environment is always daunting. However, rather than be afraid, advises spirit, why not congratulate yourself for being there in the first place?
Spiritual Awakening And The Segmented Sleep Cycle
One of the most commonly experienced symptoms of spiritual awakening is frequently waking in the early hours from 3am to 5am. It’s important to rule out any medical reasons this could be happening. However, if you are in good health and you have been regularly waking up this early, then you may be experiencing this due to spiritual awakening.
You may have found by now in an online search that you are waking up at 3am because it is ‘the witching hour’. You may also have read that 3am is an auspicious time to wake, or the opposite, that it is a ‘time of dark magic.’ Or that during your spiritual awakening you may be ‘spiritually attacked’ and this is why you are waking in the wee hours. While some of this may be true for some people, I am going to have to say that it probably has nothing to do with your waking up at or around 3am.
Yes, it is a sign of awakening! And a very, very common one too. But the reason you are waking at 3am is not metaphysical; it is biological. It is biology which is influenced by your spiritual progression. But essentially it is a return to your natural state of being – your natural sleep cycle. This is called the circadian rhythm.
Most people just accept that we sleep naturally for about eight hours a night. But there is a great deal of evidence that this is not actually the natural sleep cycle for human beings. In fact, evidence suggests that prior to the industrial revolution, our sleep cycle was very different.
To demonstrate this point, we must return to the concept of awakening and what awakening really is. We call it spiritual ‘awakening’ for a reason – we are waking up. Waking up means being conscious in an otherwise largely unconscious world. During the process of awakening people often find themselves becoming very sensitive to things that never really bothered them before. This is because they are suddenly present and hyper-aware when things are out of alignment with the natural order.