self-care
Navigating Energy Challenges – Manual Versus Automatic
I had always been fascinated with driving a stick shift car, as my dad drove several such vehicles in my childhood years. On our third date, my ex-husband took me to an empty parking lot and showed me the ropes on how to drive a stick shift. However, despite his valiant attempt to teach me, I failed miserably.
I reflected on this experience recently, synthesizing an analogy to what I had experienced twenty-five years ago, and found an interesting correlation with my chakra recovery journey.
Also known as Kundalini awakening, the chakra recovery process has not been an easy one for me. I literally felt like I was going to die on many occasions. Six years into this journey, I still incorporate daily energy self-care in the form of meditation, visualization, Epsom salt baths, aromatherapy, and other spiritual practices.
But I have noticed progress! My mind is so much clearer these days, and my sleep more efficient. Most of all, I radiate more kindness, truth, and an open mind of late. And I do believe the best is yet to come!
This reminded me of the ease with which one usually drives an automatic transmission vehicle. To me this is analogous to the ultimate goal of spiritual self-care: to be able to harness the energy of a fully-tuned, balanced chakra system and apply it to everyday life. A person naturally flowing with energy is able to handle more challenging situations with greater ease. Once the crown chakra starts to open, this is when innovative, eternal wisdom flows through. Then we can begin to grasp the rhythm and precision necessary to operate our energy more fluidly and automatically, instead of like a ‘stick shift.’
Now Is The Time To Celebrate Life!
The time has come to recognize how far we have come and celebrate the sheer joy and privilege to be alive. Although Covid-19 is still around, and I personally know several people who are just now recovering from the illness, we are in a much better position now than a year or two ago. We have a lot to be grateful for as we start to work our way towards the future.
So, let’s celebrate! While still taking appropriate precautions, it is wonderful to be able to go out again, eat in restaurants and shop inside stores. A feeling of lightness is everywhere these days, with people really appreciating the ability to get back to some semblance of normal.
I see people smiling and laughing again while they are out and about, doing their daily errands, meeting friends, and attending functions and events. It seems even strangers are friendlier and more open to positive conversation and a more optimistic outlook nowadays. What a welcome change!
It is particularly satisfying to focus on and reconnect in person with the people who are important in our lives and make us feel happy. This year Mother’s Day was especially meaningful for many of us. It is always a beautiful opportunity to showcase the love for our mothers, both those who are still with us in this life, as well as those in spirit.
However, spirit impresses on me that honoring our mothers should happen more consistently than just one day per year. Each May, many of us resolve to show our love and respect all year through. So, how are we doing so far? Are we still honoring our mothers long after her special day is over?
A quick call, some surprise flowers, a little gift for ‘no reason’ are all lovely gestures that don’t take a lot of time or money, but can mean the world to mom, or stepmom, grandma or other maternal role-models who have touched our lives.
The Importance Of Self-Investment
When I was younger, I thought of self-investment as ‘self-indulgence.’ However, as I grew spiritually, my guides made me aware that this was far from the case. In fact, I have learned that self-investment is a necessity – particularly in today’s world!
What can self-investment do for you? Well, it helps to calm your emotions and ground your energy. You feel more in control of your overall situation – whatever that may be.
It can also help prevent burnout by reducing stress, inducing a sense of calm, and minimizing anger, frustration, and depression, while boosting self-esteem! It may further help increase your sense of focus, aid concentration and thus help you deal with any current tasks.
Self-investment also helps you feel much more optimistic and increases your sense of happiness, thus attracting more of the good that the abundant universe has to offer you. It aids you in tapping into your higher self, connecting with the Divine, and utilizing your fullest potential in life.
Sounds great, right? But how does one go about implementing self-investment in a modern, busy life? Consider the following strategies:
Manage Your Time
Most people feel that they cannot self-invest as they never have the time to do so. However, why not draw up a timetable for your week and schedule some me-time? Taking time to do so will pay many dividends for your overall well-being, and what is more important than that?
Drawing up such a schedule will allow you to incorporate healthy habits, and it is the correct kind of habits when it comes to self-nurture that have the most impact. Schedule it: whether you like singing in the bath, cooking delicious healthy food, taking a brisk walk before bedtime, or planning for an early night!
Make Time To Listen To Your Heart
The heart is a wondrous place, the keeper of all your dreams, desires, hopes, and wishes. The heart is your protector and guide and the holder of your very own sacred flame.
No matter where we are in this life, or what role we have embraced as our life’s mission, we must always honor the calling of our heart. It’s built-in GPS will never lead us astray. The heart’s invitation is always one that guides us to our greatest purpose through the love of the Divine, love of life, love of self, love of others, and love of service.
There are times in life when the heart calls for us to make a sacrifice to bring to fruition a special dream or mission. But the fast-paced world we live in provides little time or space for the calmness necessary to hear the sometimes faint calling of the heart. This is why we must take time away from others to honor the commitment of the soul. It is as necessary as the medical student in the preparation for becoming a great surgeon.
For a tree to grow, a seed must first be planted, which requires retreating into the stillness of the forest or the garden, breaking the soil, and carefully nesting a seedling into the heart of mother earth. Similarly, to overcome the many distractions of our worlds, we must create the time and space to tune in to the song of our heart.
In doing so, we are honoring our heart, which requires consistent practice, beginning with baby steps. Over time, we can cultivate a spiritual practice of listening to the heart in much larger steps, and then bold, giant steps.
Mahatma Gandhi, the great activist, and humanitarian, once said that prayer, regardless of one’s religion or spiritual path, purifies the heart. Gandhi cultivated a deep stillness in his own life by making time to listen to his heart through the daily practice of meditation.
Healing From A Relationship Breakup
All breakups are painful. There really is no quick fix to heal a broken heart. But there are some things one can do to gradually move on and begin a new journey without your ex-partner.
The first thing to do is to accept the reality of the situation. It is not going to do any good to dwell on the past or try to work things out at this point. In this early stage of grieving, it is usually not a good idea to speak to your ex at all. It will simply prolong the pain.
At times you might be tempted to reach out to your ex, but listen to what your heart and soul is telling you. Trust your gut. It will never steer you wrong.
You may also want to avoid reminders of your ex and your relationship. No need to put any more stress or pressure on yourself than you have to. It is best to accept what is and move on.
The most important thing now is to put yourself first and be true to you. Now is the time to come to grips with your feelings. Don’t hold back if you want to cry and let it out.
We are always trying to look for answers as to why something happened. Many times, we blame ourselves, thinking that things may have been different if we would have done more. We put ourselves through so much unnecessary guilt sometimes. It is unfair and pointless to do that to ourselves and not the best path to healing. Seek forgiveness for your ex and yourself.
A healthy lifestyle is important in times of grief. Exercise is especially beneficial. It makes you feel more in control of yourself and increases ‘feel good’ hormones like dopamine that will reduce depression.
Less Stress, More Meditation
We do our best to not be in a state of constant stress, toxic environments and unhealthy situations. We try so hard to keep our life in a state of contentment and happiness.
We intuitively know that if we keep our stress levels down, we sleep better and we think more clearly. Being in a state of zen is our original state.
When we are at peace, we are more able to hear that inner voice telling us what to do, and not do. It is what I call our inner GPS. We can hear it much more clearly when I we are centered and grounded, and not stressing.
I have found that only through meditation can I fully achieve this state of ‘less stress’ in my life. Of course, we can never eliminate stress completely, but meditation does empower me to achieve that state of contentment more easily.
After many years of practice, I can even achieve this within a few moments by simply focusing on my breath. But it is best when I take a good 30 minutes to go through my meditative steps. This includes breathwork and visualizing my body relaxing from my toes to top of my head.
During my destressing meditation I also take some time to send out love, light and peace to everyone that I know and love, including those who I don’t necessarily like very much. I also visualize the things I want to manifest in my life.
Successful Relationships Begin With Self-Love
How do you ensure your relationship will work long-term? Many callers ask me this question almost every day. In my experience, there needs to be a balance of love, caring, respect and truth for any relationship to last. If you do not have these components in a relationship, more than likely it will not work out. If a relationship is out of balance, then it usually is too one-sided and not serving your highest good.
The key first step is to love and respect yourself, because when you love and respect yourself, you will also receive more love and respect from others. There is not much of a future for any relationship that is based on the self-sacrifice of one party. It never lasts and typically does not end well. Balance is required in matters of the heart.
Along with the respect you deserve in the way you are treated. it is loving, caring, and respectful? This is applicable to everyone in your life, including romantic partners, friends, co-workers, family, and relatives.
Respect is not only something we must demand, but we must also set boundaries for it in our daily life. When a boundary is repeatedly disregarded or violated by someone in your life, then something needs to change. This is when you have to say, enough.
Sometimes the hard decisions need to be made. If someone is not respecting you in your relationship, treating you poorly, and not meeting your most essential wants and needs, then it is time to make a change. Respect yourself enough to end it.
Too many people do not believe they deserve love and respect, for various reasons. The problem often begins in childhood. It is important to realize you do and to start loving yourself a little more – not in an egotistical way, but in a way that you love and respect yourself enough to want only the best for you and to no longer settle for anything less.