emotional responses
Empaths And Endings
Anger is one of the most difficult emotions for the empath to navigate, and the ending of a relationship is definitely one of the most challenging of all.
Any relationship that falls apart is tough, but if you are an empath you may well find yourself trying to navigate some very overwhelming waters. Not only will you be feeling your own pain, anger and confusion, but you will also sense your partner’s feelings, and possibly even that of your families and mutual friends.
Trying to make sense of all these emotional energies, staying centered and sorting out your own feelings separate from your partner’s is a very tall order.
Chances are you have also been sensing that something had been radically amiss for some time, before your love finally went on the rocks. It is important to take time to look back and remember when you first sensed something was off. Empaths are often aware of their partner’s moods and feelings, and may act on it too prematurely. Pushing too soon can result in the partner shutting down, or insisting that nothing is wrong. The problem is, however, that an empath will feel that something is wrong and will not be able to shake that feeling. You knew something was wrong… and you were right!
It is critical that you shift your focus away from your partner and towards taking care of yourself. Allow your emotions to flow. An empath is always going to be more focused on the other party’s actions, reactions and feelings. You automatically link in to them instead of you. To move through this painful experience you must shift your focus and concentrate on you.
It Is Never ‘Just A Dream’
People often say, “It was just a dream, it does not mean anything.” But in my experience our dreams always mean something, and sometimes it is profound.
Dreams serve important mental, emotional, and spiritual functions in our life journey. Our dreams help us to process and learn from our daily experiences, store memories and important information, master new skills, and manage our emotions. Dreams are also key to our inner guidance, spiritual expansion, karmic evolution, and soul growth. And some dreams are the key to healing trauma.
The first nine years of my life my family lived in a small town, until we moved to a much bigger and more bustling city. Soon after we settled in our new location, I began having the same dream repeatedly.
The content of the dream never wavered. I was back in our hometown, and I was standing frighteningly close to the edge of a large, deep lake. Then suddenly I was running away from a threatening bear chasing me. The intensity of this nightmare never changed, and I consistently woke up terrified.
Around the time I turned 14, it suddenly stopped, and I never experienced the dream again.
Years later, I researched the dream’s possible meaning. I then learned that water often represents emotion, while frequently dreaming about being chased is a sign of feeling stressed, anxious, worried, or fearful. In my dream, I was running away from the negative emotion, or trying to avoid it.
The Fire Season Of Love And Joy
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), there are Five Elements, namely Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water. These elements are each associated with the seasons, certain emotional states, and specific organs in the physical body. I am personally fascinated with how accurate these correlations can be.
In the summer season, for example, the element of fire rules. The four organs associated with the fire element is the heart, small intestines, pericardium (or heart protector) and San Jiao, or the ‘triple energizer,’ which is the hollow space inside the trunk of the body.
In TCM, the solid organs each has its counterpart in a ‘hollow organ (Fu).’ The heart, for example, is a solid organ, and the small intestine its hollow counterpart. San Jiao is a body cavity that is able to influence the functioning of other organs and our overall health through the free movement of Qi, the fundamental life force energy.
The fire element represents expansion of energy expanding with heightened activity and excitement. It is further associated with love, joy, harmony, but also disharmony. In extreme cases, too much fiery excitement can cause insomnia, restlessness, and even manic behavior.
A good example of how the joy of the fire season manifests in our everyday life is the fact that summer is the peaktime of the year for weddings. This time of the year our hearts are most open, seeking to be filled with joy. We seem to radiate more light and love in the summer, just like the warm sunshine.
Struggling to Make A Decision?
One of the most common themes in psychic readings is the struggle to make a choice or decision. People often come to me for a reading because they are seeking a broader perspective or an assessment of their situation.
Whether their struggle is about love, health, finances, career, business or relocation, I have found the answers from spirit and their guides usually fall into three categories. So, here are my top three spirit-guided recommendations for making difficult life decisions:
Take Some Time Out
Most important decisions do not require an immediate response, even of it may appear to. Take some time to clear your head and think things through. Take a walk, focus on something else, sleep on it, or even just taking a deep breath.
Studies have shown that when we are in the stress response mode we are unable to access parts of our brain that think creatively and logically. Moreover, relaxing your body and mind, and stepping away from the sense of urgency and stress response, will allow you to create space for your intuition to speak up.
Do what you can to relax so you can access those two important aspects of decision making: the problem-solving mind, and your inner guidance.
Tune Into Your Inner Wisdom
Once you have calmed down the physiological stress response you are ready to ‘tune in.’ A great way to do this is to take a deep breath and call upon the wise part of you that already knows the answer to every challenging situation.
Go within and ask that you be shown the path that is the highest and best for all involved and be open to the answers you receive. These can come immediately, or over the next few days. Pay attention and see what signs you see in the form of overheard conversations, billboards, songs on the radio, angel numbers, dreams, gut feelings, and so forth. These are many ways spirit communicates messages to us, so keep an open mind and be aware.
Focus On Your Own Karma
I often get questions about karma, vengeance, and divine justice from clients when I do readings. Will the haters get what’s coming to them? Will karma finally get my cheating ex? Will my abusive employer get his comeuppance someday? If so, how long will it take for them to feel the hurt and pain they inflicted on me?
When someone calls me hoping to hear that the other person will get their ‘karma,’ it usually relates to a recent incident and they feel like the rug has been pulled from under them – especially when the attack or betrayal was seemingly unfounded. They usually hope for immediate, soul-crushing retribution!
In my own life, I have not experienced such ‘instant karma.’ In fact, true karmic debt is a very slow turning wheel. Expecting immediate payback is a lost cause and a foolish pursuit. Revenge is sweet, they say, but the spiritual truth is that seeking venegeance will only add to your own karmic debt. If someone has hurt or wronged us, the pain will ease over time. Time heals all wounds, even if the scars remain.
The only meaningful ‘payback’ I have ever experienced in my own life, was the times when I received apologies from loved ones on the other side in mediumship readings. Those messages all came from the souls of family members who have completed their life review after their transition. Once we cross over into the spirit realm, we always get new clarity and an expanded understanding of our actions, or lack thereof, and how it has caused harm to others. For some souls this process takes much longer than for others.
This happened to me on several occasions over the years, with various mediums relaying spirit messages of remorse, apologies, and loved ones asking for my forgiveness. In every instance the ‘perpetrator’ had no idea of the impact they had had on me while they were in this life. Some of them also explained that their hurtful actions were due to a learned dysfunctional behaviors and trauma from their own life experiences, especially from childhood.
Always Regain Your Karmic Composure
When we lose our composure and get very upset or angry, it is never a dealbreaker for spirit. It is only if we completely give up and do not learn from our transgressions that our guides, angels and loved ones in spirit may raise a ‘disapproving brow.’
If we lost your cool or stepped out of line, the key is to seek out the next right thing to do make amends for our messy indiscretions. Maybe it’s picking up a lost piece of mail in the post office parking lot and placing that into the delivery bin, so that it will find its destination. Or maybe it’s feeding the homeless person who is always sitting outside your local store. Or listening with an empathetic ear to a distant relative who has suffered a lot in their life recently.
Even doing an anonymous prayer or sending healing to someone will always be welcome. Whatever your clearance path is, be sure to untie those etheric karmic cords of your recent negative emotional responses and unkind actions, and make things right!
As a spiritually aware person, I will be the first to admit that I too have my ‘moments.’ If one is still dealing with unhealed trauma, shadow work and the clearing certain energy blockages, it is inevitable that frustration, irritation and anger can happen.
Every day, when I do my Epsom salt baths, I make the best attempt I can to clear such emotional energies, but it remains a work in progress. In fact, it seems like the process will never end.
How To Truly Let Them Go
When a relationship ends, we may find it very difficult to let go of the other person, especially when they have been the one who chose to leave. Friends and clients have often asked me this question. How do I forget him? How do I stop thinking about her? I have asked myself this a few times in my own life too.
My psychic observation has been that consciously trying to forget someone for whom we have strong feelings of love and affection will only serve to make it worse. ‘Forgetting’ someone we love is unnatural and goes against our grain. It only creates resistance that further increases tension and intensifies our pain.
So, it is usually better, but not easier, to channel or process our feelings of love and affection for another soul, in a more constructive, liberating way. This includes honoring the freedom of every soul’s path in relationship with God, Source, Spirit, the Divine.
It is essential to let our feelings flow, because emotions are energy in motion (e-motion). The energy will move through and in time lessen, like storm clouds passing through the sky, until the sun is visible to the eyes again.
Keeping the heart open is an important part of this process. The vision God gives me to describe this is of being in your home, going about your own life within it, with all your attention focused on the activities, surroundings, and experiences of the moment, and simply being present with what you have and what is, while the front door remains open in the background.