self-love
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.
Sheltering In Gentle Grace
The subject and substance of grace is near and dear to my heart. Its consistency is gentle and ethereal, but nonetheless a source of grounded strength. I appreciate it as a richly layered, soft, spiritually textured energy, flowing between Heaven and Earth – divine in its origin from God, yet accessible in unlimited ways within, and around us.
A few years ago, I wrote a book on grace, moving in divine alignment. The words channeled through me, as if being dictated by Grace herself, a feminine goddess personifying the compassionate energy emanating from God as the Supreme Source. Therein, the quality of grace on the hard paths of life revealed itself to me as follows.
When the dance stands still in the dark – outside my comfort zone, in the space of the unknown, in the history of pain, before the next step – I tend to feel neither peaceful, patient, nor poised.
I have grabbed for answers, change, relief, but found none independently within my clutch. So, I envision a fabric of grace, formed when the favor of God becomes interwoven with the sweetness of elegant movement and presence.
Unlike ordinary cloth, the fabric of grace dons a mystical twist. It is a lifeline of being, bearing inexhaustible strength to uplift and pull us forward through all experiences.
There is an artistry of the soul in reaching for this spiritual material of grace. It calls forth inner enlightenment and skill to clasp it in the heart, not in the hands.
Inspiration In A Time Of Crisis
During this time of the coronavirus lockdown in Spain, I realize that I am fortunate, and for this I am very grateful. For example, I already work from home and I am also accustomed to a certain amount of social isolation, for reasons of choice, at least for the time being.
Furthermore, I can do and buy the necessary. Here in Spain, we are allowed to go out for necessities, to help the vulnerable, and to walk our dogs, but we are encouraged to keep our distance from others and make shopping a swift event. Again, getting shopping done as quickly as possible has always been my preference anyway!
But, even I am aware of missing the occasional coffee in town with a friend, or being able to travel back to the place I moved from last year, to have lunch with a special friend there. Where I live, people are very social and tactile, and interact at any given occasion. They love to meet at their neighbors’ homes, or in bars and restaurants, which are all currently closed.
I have been thinking how this situation might go one of two ways for many families, currently cooped up in small homes or apartments. They could become very frustrated, especially if there are small children confined in a small space. Or, they might get very creative with how to use their time, as well as appreciating being able to spend time with one another and their pets.
Now Is The Time For Love
There is a lot of anxiety in our world at the moment, due to the ongoing pandemic of the coronavirus, or Covid-19. When this kind of crisis arises, it affects us in the deepest and most primal parts of our inner being. And who we choose to be in such a moment truly matters.
I believe that now is a time for healing. Not only from physical disease, but also from a state of unconsciousness and disconnection that many of us have been fostering, long before we even knew terms like ‘social distancing’ and ‘self-isolation.’ It seems to me as though these terms are just the articulation of an already existing condition that has been in existence long before Covid-19 arrived.
If you are currently fearful and anxious, it is understandable. Be patient and gentle with yourself. If you are struggling to cope, do not hesitate to pick up the phone and reach out to someone that you trust. If you feel isolated, now is the time to freely speak the words, “I love you.” If you have something of value to share, now is the time to give. If you can assist, now is the time to help. Now is the time for love.
There are those that would perpetuate fear at this time. I recommend not listening to such negative voices. Abstain from indulging in conspiracy theories, and trust that, as it is written in Luke 8:17, “There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, and nothing concealed that will not be known.”
Instead, turn your ear to voices of unconditional love, kindness and compassion. If you have enough ‘soul force,’ become that voice for others. As it is written in 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.”
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
The Pursuit Of Spiritual Healing
Energy healing can takes many forms: physical healing of the body; emotional healing of the heart, mental healing, and soul healing. But ultimately the best form of spiritual healing is holistic healing of the body, heart, mind, and soul.
The nature of a healing session will usually be determined by the healer. The individual may suggest the type of healing they wish to receive, but reputable healers will typically suggest or recommend the best strategy, depending on what they see is most needed. A good healer will assess the situation and determine the best way to proceed with the healing, and which methods to use.
There are basically three categories of energy or spiritual healing: hands-on, hands-free and distance healing. The methods may include chakra alignment, Reiki, meditation, prayer, visualization, acupuncture, psychic reading and intuitive guidance, bodywork, touch therapies, breathwork, pranic healing, shamanic rituals, soul retrieval and soul rescue, shadow work, inner child healing, and past life regression, to name but a few.
Whatever method or technique we choose, one needs to be certain it is suitable for the individual. No single path leads everyone through the process of healing. We need to be sure that we start them on a path along which we they will be able to continue and complete. It does help if the individual that we are working on is open to the process. As healers we must ensure that our clients are in the right head space, and openness is key to having the best from the healing process.