self-love
Are You Living An Unexamined Life?
According to Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This statement is very powerful, yet it has a very simple meaning. What you do not change, does not change you. When your actions remain the same, so do the results. If you cannot examine the things that are eating at you, the things that have gone wrong in your life, and even the things that have gone right, nothing changes.
We must look at our life and go behind the mask that we may be wearing, to cover up the fact that we are vulnerable inside. There are often so many aspects to our life that requires change in order to move forward to a better place.
For example, are you repeatedly settling for the same type of person as a partner and find it constantly failing? Are you going to a dead-end job day in and day out, that you hate so much that merely entering the workspace already makes you despise the day before it even starts? Do you look in the mirror and see things about yourself that makes you miserable?
Take off the mask of pretension and make an effort to change what isn’t working. Examine why you keep repeating the same patterns.
If you are ending up with the same type of person every time, ask yourself why? Are you trying to meet someone in the same way? Are you settling for someone that is not all that you would like, but feel it’s better than to have no one at all? Are you compromising on what you want? If they are not what you seek, cut them loose. They are not going to suddenly change.
Transmuting The Negative Energy Of Self-Sabotage
In many religions and spiritual wisdom traditions we find guidelines on healing and mind-body wellness. Many of these philosophies, in conjunction with modern medicine, can be a great aid for mind, body and soul. In all spiritual traditions there are usually rules or recommendations aimed at the well-being of society as a whole, as well as each individual soul. Many of these teachings warn us of dangers we might find in our own thought, choices and actions. And if we are unaware or careless, a damaging thought or action can turn into a harmful pattern.
Recognizing a damaging thought or behavior pattern in our lives is not easy. We might realize that someone else makes the same mistakes over and over, but it may be difficult to have the same insight about ourselves. We create the imagined walls of our own limitations, and abide by them, without being aware of making this decision. These limiting, destructive thoughts and actions that appear repeatedly in our lives – especially those demeaning, self-sabotaging, angry thoughts – are in essence negative energy vibrations. A few example of such thoughts can be:
I am useless and incompetent.
I am not strong enough.
Nobody cares about me.
I do not deserve better.
I hate myself.
Inviting The Comfort Of Angels
Now, more than ever before in our lifetime, angels are here to support, guide and comfort us in these challenging times. Angels always show up during times of great calamity and crisis. Many angel sightings or experiences have been witnessed during traumatic periods throughout human history. It is important to remember that they are ever-present, and waiting to be of service, love and support.
Over the years, I have seen time and time again that some of the key primary purposes of the angels in our lives is to remind and reinforce for us that we are not alone; that we can and will overcome the challenges we face at the moment; and to link us back to the best part of our hearts, which is where our true strength lies. It is that part of us which they hold sacred for us.
The angels have known us since before we were born. They have been watching over us as we have gone through triumph and tragedy, ever-vigilant, always supportive, they are loving and guiding us with signs and feelings towards our hearts desire. Through it all they remain unwavering in their faith in our ability to rise to the full expression of our hearts in all of life’s circumstances.
They are friend to all, regardless of our diverse beliefs and sometimes misguided dogmas. They truly are here to serve all of humankind. More often than not they are subtle in their presence, and their voices come through in feelings of comfort, love, and peace. They also guide us with a deep sense of knowing that a course of action we are about to embark on is either advantageous, or dangerous. They are never judge nor jury; they are always our advocates without question.
The Truth About ‘Twin Flames’
If you are confused about the spiritual concept of ‘twin flames’ and ‘soulmates,’ you’re not alone. Perhaps, I can shed some light on this very misunderstood subject.
I could never have understood or imagined it myself either, until I found myself going through the ‘madness’ myself, over 20 years ago. If you have never gone through a so-called twin flame experience, you won’t understand it. It’s a romantic connection like no other! But the biggest lesson I learned for it is that it is also no reason to stay in a toxic relationship.
My twin flame relationship was highly important to me, regardless of it being a one-way street. I meant so much to me that I ended up travelling to Mumbai, India, to obtain advice and assistance from a highly skilled gurugi (spiritual teacher). I was convinced that she could fix things for me, since my relationship was surely ‘meant to be.’
The feelings were so intense, for me, anyway. And, I was convinced that my beloved’s feelings for me were of the same exquisite level. In fact, I had no idea or any way of gauging otherwise. The ultimate fantasy, right!
Further, I thought that it was up to me to heal this person that had captured my heart. It seemed to me the more painful the relationship was, the more healing I had to do for him. As a result, I carried the entire relationship energetically, and emotionally.
For example, although I had always been a passionate ‘foodie,’ I began to look anorexic, as I continued on this healing mission for him. I was eating plenty of good food all the time, but I realize now that I was so drained, as a result of giving him so much of my energy, that it wouldn’t have mattered what, or how much I ate.
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.
Sheltering In Gentle Grace
The subject and substance of grace is near and dear to my heart. Its consistency is gentle and ethereal, but nonetheless a source of grounded strength. I appreciate it as a richly layered, soft, spiritually textured energy, flowing between Heaven and Earth – divine in its origin from God, yet accessible in unlimited ways within, and around us.
A few years ago, I wrote a book on grace, moving in divine alignment. The words channeled through me, as if being dictated by Grace herself, a feminine goddess personifying the compassionate energy emanating from God as the Supreme Source. Therein, the quality of grace on the hard paths of life revealed itself to me as follows.
When the dance stands still in the dark – outside my comfort zone, in the space of the unknown, in the history of pain, before the next step – I tend to feel neither peaceful, patient, nor poised.
I have grabbed for answers, change, relief, but found none independently within my clutch. So, I envision a fabric of grace, formed when the favor of God becomes interwoven with the sweetness of elegant movement and presence.
Unlike ordinary cloth, the fabric of grace dons a mystical twist. It is a lifeline of being, bearing inexhaustible strength to uplift and pull us forward through all experiences.
There is an artistry of the soul in reaching for this spiritual material of grace. It calls forth inner enlightenment and skill to clasp it in the heart, not in the hands.
Inspiration In A Time Of Crisis
During this time of the coronavirus lockdown in Spain, I realize that I am fortunate, and for this I am very grateful. For example, I already work from home and I am also accustomed to a certain amount of social isolation, for reasons of choice, at least for the time being.
Furthermore, I can do and buy the necessary. Here in Spain, we are allowed to go out for necessities, to help the vulnerable, and to walk our dogs, but we are encouraged to keep our distance from others and make shopping a swift event. Again, getting shopping done as quickly as possible has always been my preference anyway!
But, even I am aware of missing the occasional coffee in town with a friend, or being able to travel back to the place I moved from last year, to have lunch with a special friend there. Where I live, people are very social and tactile, and interact at any given occasion. They love to meet at their neighbors’ homes, or in bars and restaurants, which are all currently closed.
I have been thinking how this situation might go one of two ways for many families, currently cooped up in small homes or apartments. They could become very frustrated, especially if there are small children confined in a small space. Or, they might get very creative with how to use their time, as well as appreciating being able to spend time with one another and their pets.