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Helping Others Is A Great Way To Help Yourself
Ten years ago was a very difficult time in my life. I had a lot of time to reflect and put my own needs in perspective. My experience with that stress gave me coping skills that I want to share with you in today’s difficult times.
We all have choices in life when we believe that we have hit ‘rock bottom.’ We can choose to stay at that bottom and focus on that negative energy, or we can look for the positive side and see that there is nowhere else to go, except back up to the top.
A decade ago my mother was fighting cancer. She was strong and healthy and had always focused on a healthful and active lifestyle. Why did this happen to someone who does all the right things in life, when there are so many people that do not take care of themselves and then live a longer life?
In those days, I could choose to focus on such negative thoughts about how unfair life was, or I could choose to find the positive in that situation. Spending time with my mother, taking her to doctor’s appointments, cooking her favorite meals and offering my listening ear instead created a positive spirit for both of us.
I tried to spend as much time with her as possible, giving her time to live, love and laugh. We focused on one day at a time, but also made plans for tomorrow. Keeping busy and reminiscing over the positive memories we shared, truly helped me through that very stressful time with my mother.
On top of dealing with my mother, I also had a nine year old Doberman dog that was very close to me. He had just been diagnosed with liver disease and his prognosis was not good. The added stress of my dog’s health made matters even more challenging. I still think sometimes that if it wasn’t for bad luck, I would have no luck at all! But I make an effort to snap out of this kind of thought process as quickly as possible. It serves no purpose in the long run.
Release Then, Embrace Now
I did the most interesting and heartfelt psychic reading the other day. Once it was over, I thought about my responses as a reader for this particular subject matter and how we live and, hopefully, learn. This was a case of lost love come back around again, after many decades of separation and years of wondering ‘what if?’ My client had loved and lost her soulmate when they were mere teenagers, many moons ago.
The parting had not been easy or a willing one for either of them, but our parents’ opinions when we are a certain age often tend to determine our decisions and choices. The two lovers parted ways and went on to lead their separate lives with other people, but in their hearts they never forgot each other. It took a long time, but their paths did cross again – this time with life at the helm, instead of their parents’ wishes and decrees.
Their original parting was so painful for the woman that, although she was so happy to see him again, she could not help but react from a perspective of fear and panic. She approached their reconciliation from the then place, which was one of loss, confusion and grief.
During a reading on this matter, it was immediately apparent that there still were many rivers to cross. The first words from me were: “There is so much love here waiting to happen!” Little else seemed to matter much at all. But the client was still stuck in the past.
Then a pearl of wisdom came from Spirit. “Right now is right now,” the Angels confirmed. “We would not have brought the two together were there not unfinished business and love here to attend to. Tell her to release the past and take the leap of faith. Once she releases it, she will be able to see the now. Then she can proceed from an open heart, not from the fear of loss. She won’t experience the same scenario again, or have it re-enact itself, because she will have released the past. It will literally be a new lease on life.”
The Mystery Woman In My Mother’s Kitchen
I had an unusual childhood as the member of a psychic family. I also grew up in a haunted house, which is something we did not openly discuss in those days.
One particular ‘ghost’ story is something I will never forget. It was one of those unusual instances where my psychic abilities would not provide any of the answers. It was also an incident that would change my family forever.
My mother was terminally ill and shortly before she passed we were sitting in the living room talking to her. She kept referring to this woman she saw cooking dinner in the kitchen. She described the woman as being in her early 60’s, with an apron and light brown hair. My mother was not pleased that this stranger was busy cooking in her kitchen. What was she doing there?
Although we are a highly intuitive family, none of us saw or felt the presence of any ‘woman’ at that time. There certainly was no ghost in the kitchen. If there was, we would have sensed something. We were not sure if my mother’s words were merely a side-effect of the medication she was on, or whether she was getting ready to leave this life, which may have been causing her to hallucinate. None of us really knew what to make of the strange ‘woman in the kitchen’ she kept seeing.
My mother passed away shortly thereafter. About six or seven months later my father announced that he had met a new woman and that he really liked her. Time went by and one day my father told me he was going to ask his new girlfriend to marry him.
I had never met the lady before and not knowing who she was I wanted to be sure if she would be the right person for him. What if she was just trying to take advantage of him? But this time my psychic abilities let me down. For some reason I just could not pick up on who this woman was that my father was planning to marry. This is something that sometimes happens to psychics when they try to read for themselves, or for the people close to them.
Walk In Faith As You Move Forward
“For we live by faith, not by sight.” I have relied on the words of this verse from 2 Corinthians for most of my life with much success, no matter how tough times have been.
What does it mean to walk in faith, and not by sight? Well, it means to keep going and to keep your faith in God, Spirit, a Higher Power, even when you are not sure of where exactly you are headed.
This past year these words could not have been more relevant. It has been very difficult for all of us, especially for those who have lost loved ones. Sadly, in our day and age, when a loved one passes, we don’t always get the support we need in order to get through the loss and get the help we need to move forward.
Processing grief on your own is no easy task. First we have to accept that our loved one is not with us in the physical sense anymore, but their soul is always with us. They will tell us that they are still here, but they do not want us to have an unhappy life, they don’t want us to be alone.
In our soul contract one of us agrees to leave before the other, whether it is a parent, husband, wife, child, sibling, whomever it may be, and that the one left behind would be experiencing what it means to endure such a loss.
As we struggle to move forward, people might say, why aren’t you feeling better yet? Time to get over it. Life goes on. Why are you still so sad? Well, it just doesn’t work that way, and anyone who has experienced such a loss understands that it takes a lot of time for the heart to truly heal.
I lost my husband of 31 years a long time ago. You don’t ever get over it completely, but it does get easier with time. It’s a step-by-step process, and having people that support you means so much to help you get through.
A Morning Visitation From My Ancestors
Some of the best times I had growing up was visiting my great grandparents during the summer holidays. It was not only fun, but also spiritual and magical. It really helped me to connect with the higher powers that be.
My great grandma was a very magical woman. Her mother was a psychic who would dream the winning lottery numbers for people. She was known as a wise intuitive and many people were jealous of her for many reasons. Legend has it that she used to make wine for Italian mobsters and even had the infamous Al Capone visit her home a few times. She was a happy little Italian lady, who always did everything and everything she could for her kids.
My great grandfather came over from Italy and he was a very stern, powerful man who only spoke Italian. He also made wine and he was much older than my grandma. I think there was a 20-year age difference.
Often, while talking to my great grandma, the lights would begin to flicker in the house and my grandpa, who was an electrician by trade, would then tell me that spirit connects with us through electricity. I thought it was cool and would try to make contact with my ancestors when I was alone.
Grandpa also promised me that when he died, he would come back to visit me. And he did. I shared that whole experience in a previous blog.
Earlier today, during my daily spiritual practice my great grandparents, as well as my grandparents all came to visit me again. We remain interconnected to this day. It is so great to be able to have these mediumship experiences. I saw their faces, surrounded by a pure white light. I could feel the blissful warmth of their love.
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Faith Is My Armor Of Light
When I had just completed high school, I decided it was time to venture out into the world, get an apartment and just experience living all on my own. So, one month after graduation, I let my butterfly wings soar and found a little place about a few blocks from where I grew up.
One night something happened I will never forget, even though it was 30 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. Someone brought over an Ouija board! I was brought up to believe that the Ouija board is a portal to the lower realm and negative energies, and that sometimes who you want to connect with isn’t always who actually comes through. My friends and I asked the board who we were talking to and his name was George.
The part that really creeped me out came later, after everyone had gone home. I was cleaning up. My apartment was on the third floor and as I was looking down at the four corner intersection below, there was a car sitting under the street light. An older, bald man rolled the window down and leaned over to look up at me through the passenger window. “I’m George”, he said. I was so creeped out!
My roommate was gone and I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. Lying in my bed later, I was trying to make sense of it all. I looked across the room and the light coming in through the blinds made it so I could see the hallway and the doorway. And there I suddenly saw the shape of a man; the figure of a man that was so dark, but you could totally make out it was a man standing right there in the doorway! I will never forget his voice. “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”, he said. Amazingly, I felt immediately comforted.
The church I grew up in was directly across from my new apartment. And I just knew that he was an angel, letting me know that through my faith I am protected. I was never again scared to be by myself.