judgment
The Rosary Reflections Of A Spiritualist
Some of us are merely going through the motions every day, doing what we think others expect of us, doing the ‘should’ we put on ourselves. Living life by rote. I equate this to saying prayer beads. It becomes almost an unconscious act. So, when something unexpected happens, like the coronavirus pandemic, and we are forced to slow down, or even come to a complete halt, we are suddenly confronted with our own truths.
For some of us, the only things that then come to mind are all the things that we perceive we have done ‘wrong’ in the past. We feel guilt over all the people we have disappointed or hurt. We mourn the relationships that did not go the distance. We obsess over the skeletons in our own personal closet.
When we get into this mindset of shame and regret, it affects our immune system and our well-being. The ‘poor me, bad me, angry me’ turns into a very ‘toxic me.’ When the world seems to be falling apart, the mind does a life review. We let the fear and regret creep in. What if there really is an afterlife, even if you have always said, “I don’t believe in heaven and hell.” The ‘what if’s’ in life can really do a number on us. When faced with uncertain times it is only natural to think about our own mortality, and our failures and past mistakes.
One thing I find that really helps, is to reflect on the good memories. Let the unpleasant ones come and go, and not reside in your mind. Thoughts are such powerful things, especially when you are still reflecting on things at 3am in the morning, while you should be sleeping. These worries and bad memories are usually things we can’t do anything about, even if we desperately want to.
When things seem out of control, flip the switch. Reflect instead on all the things you have accomplished. Think about things in your life that have brought you great joy. Times that even one person said good job. People that have said “I hear you,” and “you matter to me.”
How To Find Your Inner Peace
Around the world we are being faced with a crisis situation that is bringing many negative feelings to the surface. Fear, anxiety, sadness, confusion, mistrust, frustration, anger. How you are faring during this time? What emotional responses are coming to the surface for you?
I have been following the news around the world. I have seen some leaders scoff at and make light of the situation, while others take it extremely seriously. There seems to be no unanimity or consistency in the messages we receive, and there appears to be a lack of consensus among the leadership and experts.
How then can we as individuals find inner peace and unity in all this chaos? The following guidelines may be helpful to you in the days ahead.
Turn Off The News
First things first: reduce your daily exposure to the news, and fact check everything you do choose to pay attention to. Most of all, do not believe everything you see on social media! Many of the stories going around are false reports, conspiracy theories and fake news. Some media outlets are also creating more fear and drama than we should have to deal with. Remember that in many cases sensationalism often equals sales. Choose your sources carefully and listen to your inner guidance and follow your intuition.
Love Is The Healing Force
I grew up in a Christian family. In fact, it was going to seminary, and exploring world religions, that eventually led me to practice metaphysics and intuitive consulting as a full-time profession. Being trained and ordained in a Christian organization has also given me a unique perspective on alternative spirituality and metaphysics.
Jesus is, in fact, one of the spiritual guides I connect with when I work with people. This has made me realize that Jesus, the central figure in Christianity, is often misunderstood by many people. In the many years of connecting with Jesus, I am confident that he never had the intention to create a formal, organized religion. In fact, often the religious attributes attached to Jesus are far more complex than his original core message.
Jesus taught very simple strategies for life. I think sometimes these strategies are considered too simple by some people. When asked, Jesus was able to sum up his teachings in three simple statements. Someone inquired about an authentic spiritual path and Jesus gave two commandments and then gave a third statement, “In these two commandments rest all of the law and the prophets.”
This third statement is quite profound. He was stating that every spiritual text that had ever been written, or would ever be written, could be summed up in two commandments. This means that in Jesus’ perspective, if a person simply abided by these two commandments, they would be fulfilling the fundamental guidelines associated with religious and spiritual practice.
If you are interested in Jesus’ teachings, or interested in following the path he taught, then the good news is that you are already following the second ‘commandment.’ I have been living on this planet long enough to recognize that every person is already following this second commandment, which says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
To Fester, Or Forgive
Recently, a peer did a short talk on forgiveness, as part of a healing service. Besides her being courageous, sharing aspects of her personal challenges with parents and peers, she also offered a reminder of how instrumental forgiving ourselves is in our healing journey.
The reptilian, primitive part of the brain has a default state of always monitoring its environment. The hunter-gatherer ancestral days had us on constant alert. Anxious. Awaiting possible threat by the saber-tooth tiger. But our modern brain has evolved such, that when we are not active in a task, the brain occupies itself with dwelling on the past.
The idle brain tends to ponder past events and unpleasant thoughts, that in the default state, fill us with anxiety. Pain. Guilt. Self-blame. Shame. Anger. Disappointment.
The typical memories and thoughts, that can consume us in this default state, vary. Some are large and life-changing, such as the loss of a loved one or favorite pet, financial loss, divorce, adultery, retrenchment, and physical or emotional abuse. Others are more behavioral or emotional, but can be just as debilitating.
When our life is ‘heading south’ and we cannot seem to turn things around, we tend to replay the situation. This can lead to becoming more depressed, and having more reason to doubt ourselves. A vicious cycle can result. We spin and spin…like laundry in the dryer, being tumbled. If we remain in that dryer, resentment sets in.
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
Love Is All You Need
A popular Beatles song was written circa 1967 by John Lennon, as part of the anti-war movement, with a very simplistic set of lyrics about love. “Love is all you need,” proclaims the song. Simple, yet often so elusive to so many of us.
Love is also a “many-splendored thing,” according to the Andy Williams classic. Yet, it is also complex set of emotions, beliefs, and behaviors that we have learned. Either through witnessing, training and personal experiences, which loop back into our behaviors. It is a dynamic process. These beliefs and emotions are then ‘translated’ into feelings. Feelings of attachment, affection, trust, respect, and commitment.
Love is also a topic of discussion, research and vital part of life dating back through all time. Throughout human history priests, philosophers, poets, artists, musicians, and scientists have all contemplated the mysteries and meaning of love.
And love is more than just a feeling between two people. We can have a love for country, nature, freedom, animals, opera music, or cold beer! And anything else that resonates with our heart.
The challenge for many of us in life is the rollercoaster of chasing love. As humans, we seek companionship, community, a sense of purpose. We seek to love and be loved. And we take many actions and steps towards our own definition of love. Yet, it is a dynamic, elusive, ever-changing target – one influenced and even manipulated by the many facets of human desire and emotions. Also, the sometimes harsh realities of life may take away that which we loved so much.
The Wisdom Of Supporting Others
Being kind, compassionate, supportive and treating others as we want to be treated, is important for our physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Negative energy at work and in our personal lives, can drain our energy and negatively impact the health of mind, body and soul.
Work related issues carry their own special stress, since that has a direct impact on financial well-being, as well as personal happiness. It is best to avoid the envy, jealousy, gossip and betrayal. Beware the eye-rolling, personal attacks, whispers behind closed doors, and the divulging of information that isn’t meant to be shared, as well as the ‘just plain pettiness.’
If you are the one being attacked or targeted, resist the temptation to respond in kind. A public battle of words, or ‘tit-for-tat’ gossip, will change nothing. Adding fuel to the fire will only guarantee that the battle will continue and become even more nasty.
You don’t need to be phony, but it is advisable, and always empowering, to be civil and dignified, and to stay centered. Sometimes it is best to just remain silent. Let your actions speak for you, and to your character.
You don’t need to make excuses for, or feel sorry for the other person, or the group. Just remember what your goals and purpose are. Reach beyond that, and implement an energetic and spiritual practice that will empower both yourself and others.