judgment
To Fester, Or Forgive
Recently, a peer did a short talk on forgiveness, as part of a healing service. Besides her being courageous, sharing aspects of her personal challenges with parents and peers, she also offered a reminder of how instrumental forgiving ourselves is in our healing journey.
The reptilian, primitive part of the brain has a default state of always monitoring its environment. The hunter-gatherer ancestral days had us on constant alert. Anxious. Awaiting possible threat by the saber-tooth tiger. But our modern brain has evolved such, that when we are not active in a task, the brain occupies itself with dwelling on the past.
The idle brain tends to ponder past events and unpleasant thoughts, that in the default state, fill us with anxiety. Pain. Guilt. Self-blame. Shame. Anger. Disappointment.
The typical memories and thoughts, that can consume us in this default state, vary. Some are large and life-changing, such as the loss of a loved one or favorite pet, financial loss, divorce, adultery, retrenchment, and physical or emotional abuse. Others are more behavioral or emotional, but can be just as debilitating.
When our life is ‘heading south’ and we cannot seem to turn things around, we tend to replay the situation. This can lead to becoming more depressed, and having more reason to doubt ourselves. A vicious cycle can result. We spin and spin…like laundry in the dryer, being tumbled. If we remain in that dryer, resentment sets in.
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
Love Is All You Need
A popular Beatles song was written circa 1967 by John Lennon, as part of the anti-war movement, with a very simplistic set of lyrics about love. “Love is all you need,” proclaims the song. Simple, yet often so elusive to so many of us.
Love is also a “many-splendored thing,” according to the Andy Williams classic. Yet, it is also complex set of emotions, beliefs, and behaviors that we have learned. Either through witnessing, training and personal experiences, which loop back into our behaviors. It is a dynamic process. These beliefs and emotions are then ‘translated’ into feelings. Feelings of attachment, affection, trust, respect, and commitment.
Love is also a topic of discussion, research and vital part of life dating back through all time. Throughout human history priests, philosophers, poets, artists, musicians, and scientists have all contemplated the mysteries and meaning of love.
And love is more than just a feeling between two people. We can have a love for country, nature, freedom, animals, opera music, or cold beer! And anything else that resonates with our heart.
The challenge for many of us in life is the rollercoaster of chasing love. As humans, we seek companionship, community, a sense of purpose. We seek to love and be loved. And we take many actions and steps towards our own definition of love. Yet, it is a dynamic, elusive, ever-changing target – one influenced and even manipulated by the many facets of human desire and emotions. Also, the sometimes harsh realities of life may take away that which we loved so much.
The Wisdom Of Supporting Others
Being kind, compassionate, supportive and treating others as we want to be treated, is important for our physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Negative energy at work and in our personal lives, can drain our energy and negatively impact the health of mind, body and soul.
Work related issues carry their own special stress, since that has a direct impact on financial well-being, as well as personal happiness. It is best to avoid the envy, jealousy, gossip and betrayal. Beware the eye-rolling, personal attacks, whispers behind closed doors, and the divulging of information that isn’t meant to be shared, as well as the ‘just plain pettiness.’
If you are the one being attacked or targeted, resist the temptation to respond in kind. A public battle of words, or ‘tit-for-tat’ gossip, will change nothing. Adding fuel to the fire will only guarantee that the battle will continue and become even more nasty.
You don’t need to be phony, but it is advisable, and always empowering, to be civil and dignified, and to stay centered. Sometimes it is best to just remain silent. Let your actions speak for you, and to your character.
You don’t need to make excuses for, or feel sorry for the other person, or the group. Just remember what your goals and purpose are. Reach beyond that, and implement an energetic and spiritual practice that will empower both yourself and others.
Keeping Your Thoughts Positive
Have you ever felt that you have reached the bottom and are struggling to come back up to the top? Many people that I talk to on a daily basis, have no one they can turn to in order to bring them back up and get that positive energy back. Each person I speak to comes to me with different issues that they like me to help them understand and solve. Sometimes you just need a friend. I like to be a friend by listening, understanding, and finding the deep-seated issues for every person that calls me. It is amazing how a spiritually guided, non-judgmental reading can help people with each and every issue we discuss together.
Once you are able to find solutions to an issue during your psychic reading, it is awesome how well you can feel afterwards. If you are embarrassed to speak to someone you know, a psychic reader is the perfect solution. You will not have the worry of your issues becoming public or causing embarrassment.
A spiritual psychic reader can help guide you in the right direction to your future. However, it does take work on your part to get to that future. It is so important for you to set your goals and not stop until you achieve each and every one of them. Your hard work will pay off in the end. Once you have achieved your first goal, it is amazing how good you will feel inside. Achievements whether large or small, help bring the positive emotions and feelings out, while slowly putting the negative thoughts in the past, and leaving them there for good.
Soul Friends
Soul friends are different from soulmates. Your soulmate is your romantic or life partner, the one you share your life with. Your soul friend is your best friend. Even when you haven’t talked with each other for a long time, you always seem to know what is going on with them.
We have several spiritual friendships in our lifetime. Those special friendships are part of our soul contract or life plan while we are here on Earth. Before we came here we made an agreement with certain members of our soul group to find and support each other while in this lifetime.
How do you know when someone is from your soul group? There is an instant connection right away. Your laughter, and humor, and way of thinking, just seems to fit. You immediately ‘get’ each other’s ‘vibe.’ We have more than one soul friend in every lifetime, which may even include siblings and co-workers.
Why is having soul friends important? Well, because soul friends help, support and guide us along our journey in this lifetime. You can usually talk about anything with them, without feeling judged or criticized, or feeling obligated sometimes.
As you are thinking of them, almost instantly the phone might ring and it’s them, saying that they were thinking of you and wanted to reach out. It makes our journey so much easier when we have them in our lives, because with soul friends you can be who you truly are. Continue reading
Unconditional Love Is Heaven On Earth
When I was a little girl, I remember going to my grandparents’ home during the summers. I couldn’t wait for the summer to arrive, to get to spend time with them. It was always magical. The months leading up to those wonderful stays were always filled with anticipation and excitement.
Always having something to look forward to adds to the enjoyment and contentment of life. Whether it’s an upcoming event or something we are looking forward to, such trying an adventurous activity, or reading that new book you’re excited to dive into. Books have always been for me a bit of a mental vacation, because you can relax, while going places to imaginative places in your mind.
I believe the magic and enjoyment of getting to spend time with my grandparents came from it being filled with love and attention. Thinking back now, they were the only adults, when I was younger, who gave me their full attention and truly unconditional love. They were never too busy to sit and talk with me, or share stories from their childhood, which I found very fascinating.
Not all Grandparents are alike though. Some can be all about gossip, judgment, neglect, even abuse, and not the best role models. I was lucky that on my mother’s side of the family this was not the case. My maternal grandparents had all the traits and attributes one would imagine a truly loving grandparent to have.
I have memories of being in tears when having to leave and go back home. There I just spent my days alone in my room, as my parents were often too busy with church and other social groups they were involved in. I suspect all that time I was forced to spend on my own, helped me to expand and open my mind, to tap into those deeper areas of the psyche that are often left dormant.