judgment
The Gift Of Traumatic Life Experiences
It never ceases to amaze me how much I learn from clients every day. More and more clients also show me how they have found ‘the gift’ in their own personal challenges and heartbreak.
One of my clients had a very abusive childhood, and two subsequent abusive marriages. She told me recently how she wrote each of her ex-husbands a detailed letter. She thanked them for the gift they had given her; the growth she had experienced from the myriad of ‘not so happy experiences’ during her life journey with them. Was she playing the victim or merely expressing her anger to them? No, she absolutely meant it.
She also talked about more recent failed relationships and the many gifts derived from knowing deep rejection all the way through to sabotage. And now, finally, she has met a guy who appears to be her ideal mate – she is ready to surrender and enjoy the experience, wherever it takes her. Now she can enjoy the gift of shared love. Continue reading
You Need Some Pop-up Preparedness
Life happens, therefore pop-ups happen to. What is a ‘pop up’? Well, a pop-up is something unforeseen that occurs to put a snare or trip you up in a negative way. It is a term I have invented for lack of a better one. I feel it’s a gentler way of describing those negative things that tend to pop-up during the course of our life that set us back in some way.
A family may have planned a very special time together, for example, and they had looked forward to it and patiently awaited that very enjoyable event. Then the phone rings and one of the parents has to go and tend to a new priority, and the child is left wondering what happened.
Well, what do we do in today’s world, where we live by the cell phones and social networking websites, and our friends’ and other people’s needs and desires, while putting those that we are supposed to treasure the most and love the most on the ‘back burner’. In the process our most intimate relationships suffer. Some of us just don’t know how to say no to those pop-ups! Continue reading