inner peace
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
Find Your Balance With Rest And Relaxation
As I made my way into 2020, with great intentions and resolutions, I found that my life was full of busyness, obligations and a calendar quickly filling up. My 2020 vision board was filled with new goals and dreams, and my employer was eager to roll out new duties and processes to an already demanding workload.
I felt hopeful for all the things I wanted to accomplish, ready to take on all of the manifesting and challenges with gusto. Determined to find balance. But, as I look back over the past few weeks, I realize that I was reluctant to get going.
I began to cut corners in my new workout regime, and my meditation practice was not as frequent and strong as I knew it could be. I was not focused on my goals and felt myself burning out quickly in all tasks. My plate was full and the harder I tried, I had to admit, I was just not into it.
I have been feeling absolutely overwhelmed by the huge amount of work I needed to catch up on. My workout goal has only been making me more tired. As I procrastinated on the items on my ‘to do list’ and the commitments piled up, I actually felt more paralyzed than motivated.
Instead of trudging further through the process in a reluctant mood, I then chose to make an abrupt halt for a few days and simply rest. Just rest. Took a break. Time out. I cleared all of my commitments and turned off connection to all work items. I had no need to get out of my pajamas for a few days. I ordered takeout and let any dishes and laundry wait for a while.
Dragging A ‘Knapsack Of Irrelevance’
Reading for a client recently revealed her toxic work environment, and how one co-worker in particular was making things very unpleasant for her at the office. It reminded me of a short-lived, but very unpleasant working situation I found myself in years ago.
I was scheduled to work with a woman for a couple of weeks who had an extremely negative attitude and was having a profound effect on me. I shared this unpleasant situation with my boyfriend at the time, and his view was that I was just carrying around a ‘knapsack of irrelevance.’
I was so upset! How could he even think that? However, he did give me some food for thought when he then also said, “Just consider how you will think about this situation in a few years from now. How much will it matter then?”
Well, that did help to put things into perspective. And guess what? Just as he predicted, I forgot all about it until this recent reading with my client! Yes, he was correct. After all the years, remembering that brief work situation made me realize that it never had any major relevance or importance to my life. Stressing and worrying about it was indeed just a waste of time and energy.
I met this particular ex-boyfriend in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). He was very well-versed in the twelve steps and other tools helpful in achieving and maintaining sobriety. He also gave me an Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet, which I have to this day, which reads:
Give Your Nervous System A Break
Given the fast pace of today’s world, the expectations of others, as well as the pressure we place on ourselves, giving our nervous system a break, and understanding the ways to support and strengthen this system, is physically, emotionally and spiritually important.
Stress is something we all experience – some more than others. Those of us who are empathic, psychic, or highly sensitive, can experience stress more intensely with more profound consequences.
The stress that empaths, psychics and sensitives experience may be tied to that of another person, or situation, as well as their own stress. This ability to experience the emotions, thoughts and feelings of others can create a rebound effect of high stress.
Racing heart, anxiety, quickening of breathing, tensing of muscles, sweating, feeling faint or nauseous, are all signs of a nervous system in flight mode. Add in the compounded impact of experiencing this in another person, on top of yourself, and your nervous system is off and running, literally.
The body’s ‘fight or flight response’ is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, which is one part of the autonomic nervous system. The other part is the parasympathetic nervous system, which works to relax and slow down the body’s response.
The sympathetic system acts like an accelerator, to ‘rev up’ our body and make us run, to remove us from danger. The parasympathetic system acts like the ‘brake,’ slowing us down when danger isn’t present.
Spiritual Or Religious?
There are those of us who describe ourselves as “spiritual, but not religious.” But what does that really mean? Spirituality can be defined in many different ways, and it is a very personal matter.
Everyone has the right to decide for themselves what belief system or philosophy resonates most with their heart. In my view, there are many different spiritual paths that all lead to the same destination.
To be spiritual, for me, is to practice being kind to others and myself. It is simply about the ‘golden rule’ of treating others the way you wish to be treated. Truly spiritual people, no matter what their personal beliefs or values may be, are appreciative of life’s blessings and practice gratitude daily.
Spiritually aware people have hope and faith. They look at life challenges as possibilities and opportunities, instead of as limitations and setbacks. They strive to see the glass half full, as opposed to half empty.
Spiritual people also have compassion for others, and all life forms. They are usually concerned about global issues. They respect the natural environment and see the beauty in the world around them. The simple things in life become the extraordinary things bring them joy. Look at trees, mountains, ocean, birds, animals, flowers and plants! That is what I called my church. How can one be out in nature, surrounded by all its beauty, and not believe in something greater than yourself?
Spiritual people are always aiming to become better people. It’s about living your own truth, living with principles and integrity. They realize that money does not necessarily bring happiness and fulfillment, which is not to say that one cannot be wealthy and happy at the same time. I know some very wealthy people that are highly spiritual, happy and grateful, doing good things for the world we live in. Wealth often affords people the ability to contribute to making the world a better place.