Healing
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.
To Fester, Or Forgive
Recently, a peer did a short talk on forgiveness, as part of a healing service. Besides her being courageous, sharing aspects of her personal challenges with parents and peers, she also offered a reminder of how instrumental forgiving ourselves is in our healing journey.
The reptilian, primitive part of the brain has a default state of always monitoring its environment. The hunter-gatherer ancestral days had us on constant alert. Anxious. Awaiting possible threat by the saber-tooth tiger. But our modern brain has evolved such, that when we are not active in a task, the brain occupies itself with dwelling on the past.
The idle brain tends to ponder past events and unpleasant thoughts, that in the default state, fill us with anxiety. Pain. Guilt. Self-blame. Shame. Anger. Disappointment.
The typical memories and thoughts, that can consume us in this default state, vary. Some are large and life-changing, such as the loss of a loved one or favorite pet, financial loss, divorce, adultery, retrenchment, and physical or emotional abuse. Others are more behavioral or emotional, but can be just as debilitating.
When our life is ‘heading south’ and we cannot seem to turn things around, we tend to replay the situation. This can lead to becoming more depressed, and having more reason to doubt ourselves. A vicious cycle can result. We spin and spin…like laundry in the dryer, being tumbled. If we remain in that dryer, resentment sets in.
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
Find Your Balance With Rest And Relaxation
As I made my way into 2020, with great intentions and resolutions, I found that my life was full of busyness, obligations and a calendar quickly filling up. My 2020 vision board was filled with new goals and dreams, and my employer was eager to roll out new duties and processes to an already demanding workload.
I felt hopeful for all the things I wanted to accomplish, ready to take on all of the manifesting and challenges with gusto. Determined to find balance. But, as I look back over the past few weeks, I realize that I was reluctant to get going.
I began to cut corners in my new workout regime, and my meditation practice was not as frequent and strong as I knew it could be. I was not focused on my goals and felt myself burning out quickly in all tasks. My plate was full and the harder I tried, I had to admit, I was just not into it.
I have been feeling absolutely overwhelmed by the huge amount of work I needed to catch up on. My workout goal has only been making me more tired. As I procrastinated on the items on my ‘to do list’ and the commitments piled up, I actually felt more paralyzed than motivated.
Instead of trudging further through the process in a reluctant mood, I then chose to make an abrupt halt for a few days and simply rest. Just rest. Took a break. Time out. I cleared all of my commitments and turned off connection to all work items. I had no need to get out of my pajamas for a few days. I ordered takeout and let any dishes and laundry wait for a while.
The Miracle Healing Power Of Prayer
Every month, I host a healing prayer circle. All those who show up are invited to share what has been going on in their lives. Whoever may need a listening ear or a prayer, we go to work and pray for them.
Sometimes just listening to someone else’s problems can also be very healing. Many people don’t have anyone in their lives who will listen, and sometimes people say they will pray for us, but don’t.
There is much power in prayer. I once again witnessed this with a lady who, while attending one of our prayer circles, experienced a instant healing miracle.
She is a mature woman who lives on her own and doesn’t do much else but attend a knitting group and our monthly prayer circle. During one of our gatherings she shared how grateful she was for the group and that she urgently needed a prayer for herself this time. She had never before asked that we pray for her.
She had been experiencing severe pain in her spine and painful rashes. Her doctor had examined her two weeks prior and told her she had the viral infection known as shingles. She showed us some of the rashes on her body and it was clear that this was a severe case.
We then laid our hands on her, everyone present that day, and we prayed for her. She started to vibrate. I could feel it clearly in my hands. Her entire body was subtly vibrating and two of the other women said they could feel it too. I could also perceive white energy going through her entire body, and she said she could feel it too.
Finding Your Inner Wisdom
How does one find inner wisdom? How does one accurately access your intuitions? How does one receive guidance from spirit? These are typical questions that can emerge when we begin to seek deeper answers in the quest for spiritual growth and soul knowledge.
Inner wisdom is a natural gift, given to us by God, in order to have the connection between our soul and our physical body while we are in this world. Our intuition is operating in our lives every day, with or without our knowledge or perception of it.
Meditation and prayer can help us achieve a more conscious connection with the spiritual realm and our inner wisdom. When we take a moment to become quiet and listen to the inner voice of spirit, we can receive profound messages and guidance.
However, tapping into our inner wisdom is not always simple or easy. When life gets in the way, that is when you can get off track and people tend to be more scattered. We then tend to no longer listen to our inner guidance. Our spiritual guidance can also be thrown off course by distorted inner blockages or pain that we carry. It takes patience and courage to find healing and develop a greater capacity for clear intuition. Meditation and other forms of spiritual practice is the best way to achieve this.
One of my spiritual mentors used to say that inner wisdom and intuition speaks very quietly, with the voice of love and warmth. Inner guidance often comes with feelings of comfort and joy. We all contain the spark of God’s inner light and love in our heart.
Give Your Nervous System A Break
Given the fast pace of today’s world, the expectations of others, as well as the pressure we place on ourselves, giving our nervous system a break, and understanding the ways to support and strengthen this system, is physically, emotionally and spiritually important.
Stress is something we all experience – some more than others. Those of us who are empathic, psychic, or highly sensitive, can experience stress more intensely with more profound consequences.
The stress that empaths, psychics and sensitives experience may be tied to that of another person, or situation, as well as their own stress. This ability to experience the emotions, thoughts and feelings of others can create a rebound effect of high stress.
Racing heart, anxiety, quickening of breathing, tensing of muscles, sweating, feeling faint or nauseous, are all signs of a nervous system in flight mode. Add in the compounded impact of experiencing this in another person, on top of yourself, and your nervous system is off and running, literally.
The body’s ‘fight or flight response’ is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, which is one part of the autonomic nervous system. The other part is the parasympathetic nervous system, which works to relax and slow down the body’s response.
The sympathetic system acts like an accelerator, to ‘rev up’ our body and make us run, to remove us from danger. The parasympathetic system acts like the ‘brake,’ slowing us down when danger isn’t present.