suffering
Extend Yourself The Grace Of Forgiveness
If you are an empath you may believe that forgiveness should be easy for you, or at least easier than it is for others. But I’ve spoken to many empaths and highly sensitive people over the years who all struggle with forgiveness.
One of the main issues with forgiveness for the empath is that we feel another’s emotions intensely, literally as our own. This muddies the waters considerably, because it tends to blur boundaries. Blurred boundaries can often lead to a closed mouth for an empath. Why? Because it is difficult for us, especially in childhood or in romantic relationships, to know where we end and another begins.
It is easy for others to manipulate appropriate boundaries with an empath, or to erase them altogether. All the empath knows is that there is pain, sadness, a sense of frustration, or anger. If you are an empath, then the question becomes are you angry with them, or yourself? Should you have been able to foresee the catastrophe happening, the relationship ending, job imploding, and so on. This leads to self-doubt and the rehashing of incidents that occurred years ago…with no resolution.
In the meantime, every time an empath thinks about the situation, past or present, we feel it…and the cycle continues.
Yes, you are empathic, intuitive, even psychic, but that does not make you immune to being human, neither does it make you all-knowing or all-seeing, especially when it comes to your own life, childhood or relationships.
Fly Me To The Moon
Despite modern day skepticism, people have reported seeing apparitions of those who have crossed over since the dawn of time. This paranormal phenomenon is definitely nothing new to my way of thinking, because I see spirit all the time. They tend to come back to let their relatives know they’re okay, and to reassure us that they are watching over us. But sometimes earthbound spirits also appear to ask for my assistance with shamanic soul rescue work.
One of my clients used to live in the busy part of Manhattan, in a very tall building where she could see other peoples balconies. When I was doing a phone psychic reading for her one day, she told me that there was a woman who kept looking over her balcony.
She could never figure out why she always kept looking down. For a while she thought she was trying to see if she had lost something that might’ve fallen from her balcony, or maybe she was looking at somebody. This had gone on for several months.
The unusual situation peaked my interest. One day, when I was consulting again with this client, there was a ‘nagging energy’ that kept coming in on my left. I decided to bring it in… and it was the woman on that balcony. Well, actually it was her spirit coming to me. The woman was no longer in this life. She had committed suicide and her spirit was still lingering on the balcony of that apartment building. Her spirit needed to be released.
Do It Anyway
No matter what we go through in life and with who, we always come back to the same place… a familiar place of being alone. The thought occurred to me the other day that we come into this world alone, and we go out alone.
Though we may be surrounded by others, at the end of the day, we are still alone when we go to sleep at night. Even if we are married, or in a relationship with someone who sleeps next to us, we still enter into the sleep state or dream state, alone.
Have you ever noticed that people who are comfortable being alone, have somehow mastered being alone without being lonely? There is a true comfort, freedom, and delight in being by oneself, alone. When we are alone, we can take an honest inventory of our life, who we choose to spend time with, and also decide how we wish to spend our time.
The relationship arena seems to be one of the most challenging areas of life. We all fall into traps and pitfalls that can steer us away from our natural state of happiness , which we come home to when we are alone. However, relationships also seem to provide a fast track for our own personal growth by revealing how we interact with other people.
Our relationships point out areas within ourselves that may require growth or increased self-love. Simply put, relationships show us exactly where we need to focus on to come back to a state of wholeness.
Choosing A Spiritual Path With Heart
There are many blind choices we make when we are too young or inexperienced to make the best decisions for ourselves. We are born into a family, or raised in a culture, for example, with its unique traditions and beliefs, or lack thereof, and we are usually quite susceptible in our youth to these influences.
In the process of becoming an adult, the questioning of such beliefs and traditions leads us towards who we will become, to discovering what truly resonates with us, and what does not. But this is something we may have taken lightly in our youth, and therefore needs to be looked over several times in our life to find out with real sincerity what is truly calling us.
It is possible that being born in a traditional Christian home, for example, we felt constrained and limited, even small and powerless, ultimately causing us to reject all dogmatic religion. For someone else, brought up maybe in an atheist home, the search for God or faith may bring a profound sense of empowerment and life purpose that nurtures their life. It all depends on us as individuals, and how we process our own reality.
Carlos Castaneda writes in The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, “Before you embark on any path ask the question: does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.”
The Power Of Gratitude In Difficult Times
It is just as important to express gratitude and appreciation when we face the difficult times in our life, as it is when things are going well. In fact, it is even more important to express it during the hard times.
When our lives are on a downswing, the last thing on most people’s hearts or minds is to be thankful, or in a state of appreciation and joy. When we are struggling, our soul tends to be more aware of the negative energy of what is going on around us. This can ultimately attract the manifestation of even more negative energy, stressful situations and unpleasant events. In the end, even more bad days will come our way.
However, when we decide to stand strong and stop the downward spiral of our energy, and to be grateful for all of life’s lessons, whether good or bad, our energy begin to shift for the better.
When I pay my bills (a task that most of us really do not enjoy), I always write thank you under the last entry in my bank journal. When I think of the reason for doing this, especially when it means spending money on things that are not tangible and sitting in my hand, the explanation comes very easily. I am saying thank you for actually having the money to pay these bills – the hydro bill so I can have lights, the gas bill so I can have heat in the winter, the credit card bill for those urgent things I had to purchase, and the medical bill that allowed me to purchase the medication I need to keep my health in check, and so on. Even though these things may not be material things that I can feel or see every day, it means something at some point to make my life better.
Our Spiritual Contracts
Before we come into this lifetime, we design a soul contract. We choose a family that we want to be born to and we plan specific things that we want to accomplish, such as career, relationships, children, and so on. The contract is about our spiritual self and therefore also includes those things that we need to overcome and learn from.
Some of the more important things in your contract may come as a surprise, because often they are those things you do not want to do! This is usually a sure way of knowing that something is contractual. The things we prefer to do, or have done, we’ve already mastered, but the challenges and obstacles offer us opportunity to overcome our fears and anxieties, to step forward and learn more, to grow spiritually.
Some contracts are also much longer than others. Some of us remain here for a long time, while others do not. I doubt anyone knows for sure, but for the time that we are here, we must make every effort to learn and grow from every life experience.
This is also why some of us attract the wrong people, and constantly get into the wrong relationships? In these cases it is often your soul contract trying to teach you to speak up for yourself and claim your self-worth.
When old souls come in, usually nothing bothers them. They tend to take things with a grain of salt. However, when new souls come in, they are often very excited about so many things and can’t seem to get enough done.
Apologies From The Other Side
Departed loved ones have come through to me many times over the years with a message of apology for how they treated me, or one of my clients. There is typically a common thread in these spirit messages: they didn’t know better at the time, but they do now, and they now see things differently. With the apology usually also comes great regret and remorse, acknowledging the pain they caused us.
For anyone who has been on the receiving end of abuse, I have come to believe that there is also a lesson in this. For me, the lesson has been learning to love myself. I was a people-pleaser for most of my life, and to some extent this is probably still the case, but there is a lesson in this too, in learning about self-love and learning to put my own needs first. My experience has been instrumental in enabling me to identify with others, and, in turn, I have become more able to help others the best I can.
I love the teachings of the spirit guide Emmanuel, as channeled by the late Pat Rhodegast. Emmanuel says, “If we were not meant to have done something, we would not have, but that it was all appropriate at the time.” I seem to recall his teachings stating that this does not mean that we should condone the harsh treatment of others.
As adults, we have more choices, but when family and loved ones treat us harshly, we often hope that things would get better, or that perhaps they were just having a bad day. I personally would do just about anything to please them, desperate to get their approval. Others often commented on and in hindsight they were right, but I would continue to hope.