judgment
The Romantic Challenges Of Being An Empath
I frequently do readings for clients who are discovering their empathic abilities, as well as awakened empaths who are still working on their self-empowerment. The majority of empaths that I have worked with over the years have all been in very high-stress romantic situations that do nothing but magnify what these highly sensitive people are already experiencing. While this is no doubt confusing, frightening and intense for the empath, one must consider the fact that it also greatly impacts their partners.
An empath a highly sensitive person who is very aware of the feelings, moods and motivations of other people and are deeply affected by the energies around them. This is experienced by the empath in many ways, including as physical sensations, moods, and emotions, as well as an inner knowing of what lies beneath the surface of other people’s words and actions. An empath has the ‘psychic radar’ to hone in intuitively on the truth of a person or situation.
Relationships, especially romantic ones, can therefore be a nightmare for empaths, and their partners. While their partner may be saying one thing, the empath ‘knows’ or ‘feels’ something different, and can sense if their partner is being dishonest or deceitful. While this can be useful at times to protect the empath from pursuing relationships with the wrong kind of person, it can also be very damaging and destructive to a potentially happy, healthy relationship with loving partner.
It can be very disconcerting and intimidating for the romantic partner of an empath to feel so constantly questioned, judged and exposed. I get many calls from empaths who are deep in an argument stemming from their partner’s refusal to come clean about what is really going on, or what they are truly feeling. The more the partner protests, the more the empath pushes and prods, leading the partner to shut down, withdraw, or disconnect completely.
If Bumble Bees Can Fly, So Can We!
When my teenage son was only two years old, he was in the living room one day, jumping from the chair to the couch with a towel wrapped across his shoulders like a cape. He was joyfully singing that he was a superhero and that he could fly. His father looked at him sternly and told him humans cannot fly. I nudged his father, “Don’t tell him that!”
To salvage the situation, I then proceeded to tell my son about bumble bees. I explained that it is aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly. Their bodies are way too big, and their wings are way too small to carry their little bodies through the air. Yet, they still do manage to fly. This was probably so because their bumble bee ‘mommies and daddies’ never told them they couldn’t! So, bumble bees fly through the air, never knowing that it is by scientific standards technically impossible.
My husband was not impressed. He looked at me and said, ”If next time he jumps off the roof, thinking he can fly, and lands on his head and breaks his neck, I’m holding you personally responsible.” “Point taken,” I said. But it was too late to redact my ‘bumble bee life lesson,’ so I then had to make very sure my son understood that he was never to attempt any flying from high places!
But, it did get me to thinking: how often do we hinder and limit our children? Some of us have psychic children. How many parents are even interested in helping them to develop their abilities? A large part of society is not so open to this.
I wonder what would happen, for example, if I were to tell a psychiatrist that I talk to spirit? He would probably say something like, “It is my observation that you are deluded to the extent that your believe you see and communicate with ghosts. My diagnosis is psychotic disorder.” Then he is likely to put me on some sort of psychiatric medication, or worse have me admitted to a mental health care facility! If I further told the same hypothetical psychiatrist that I entertained the idea of my children also having psychic abilities, he might call child protection services, to have them removed from my care for their own protection. Continue reading
Let Us Be Kind To One Another
We live in a strange world where we place so much importance on who we know, what we own, what we be believe, who we vote for, and (as silly as it is) what we look like. Instead, we all should be placing more value and importance on how we treat one another, and not be so unkind, selfish, and judgmental. Not to mention all the distractions created by modern technology and materialistic pursuits.
It is very hard for anyone to be truly spiritually aware and live a life of higher consciousness in today’s mad world. Living in a holy way, like the Saints of the Catholic faith, is almost completely out of reach these days. The Saints got it right first time around, and they are an example of how to live in a selfless, ‘do unto others’ kind of way.
We will ultimately be held accountable for every thought, word, action and deed. I think it is very egotistic to think that all that is needed is one lifetime around and then ‘ta-da,’ you get granted entry to eternal bliss. Just for claiming your are religious, a ‘good person,’ or spiritually ‘evolved’? Never! Doesn’t work like that.
Do you consider yourself a saint? None of us are. I certainly don’t consider myself one; not by a long shot. But one does notice the self-righteous attitudes of some among us, like they are better than the rest. Spirit doesn’t condone that kind of pride one bit.
Faith and spirituality is indeed a personal choice for every person. But there are some undeniable, eternal truths and universal laws that apply to all of us, no matter what we choose to be believe or who or what we worship.
For me faith and spirituality is about believing and doing what the Bible recommends. But it is not just about attending church services on Sundays, and then going against God’s Word the other six days. It’s about being humble, being pure of heart and mind, and being kind to one another. We are all connected and until we begin treating everyone as our neighbor we shall know no lasting peace or harmony.
Jupiter, Pluto And The Judgment Of Solomon
One of my favorite astrologers, Christopher Renstrom, is an uber-wise storyteller who has a knack for bringing profound astrological messages to life. He recently spoke about the separating Jupiter-Pluto energies, likening both Jupiter and Pluto to judges: Jupiter symbolizing Zeus, the benevolent King of Mount Olympus, and Pluto to Hades, his brother, the King of the Underworld.
In many ways these energies are opposite to one another, one reigning in the light (Jupiter), the other in the dark at night, beneath the surface of things (Pluto). Yet, both kings preside in judgment over matters brought to their attention.
Christopher went on to relay the story of The Judgement of Solomon from the Hebrew Bible, in which Solomon rules between two women both claiming to be the mother of a particular child. The explained that this story beautifully exemplifies Jupiter and Pluto in their role as judges over life and death.
In the story, two women had given birth, but tragically one of the babies did not survive when the mother accidentally rolled over on the child in her sleep. In the morning, she secretly switched the two babies, giving the deceased newborn to the other mother. This mother awoke and found the lifeless child, but knew this wasn’t her baby. She knew the living child belonged to her instead, but the other mother denied this and wouldn’t give up the living child.
The case went before King Solomon, who agreed to listen to anyone’s complaint, no matter what walk of life they came from. And so, each mother, in-turn, argued her side, with no corroborating witnesses to back them up.
Solomon listened intently, then asked for a sword. He then ordered the living child be cut in two, with one half handed to each of the mothers as a fair resolution of the dispute. But the true mother of the living baby implored the king not to kill the innocent child, but instead willingly relinquished the baby to the other mother. The illegitimate mother, however, demanded the child be killed so no one would have it, dispensing her own morbid sense of justice.
Dealing With Negative Energy This Holiday Season
What do you do when you have to go to a family holiday gathering you have dreaded all year? What is supposed to be a positive, happy reunion this time of the year is often a negative, argumentative and energetically draining occasion!
I know from experience that diverse personalities show up to these types of gatherings and over the years I have learned to keep quiet, and smile, and muster through it. I have helped several of my clients lately find solutions to deal with these challenging situation.
There was the uncle that swears around the children who my client is trying to raise in a loving, Christian environment. I have also helped a client find out why her sisters-in-law and mother-in-law constantly gossip about her behind her back. I have helped bring light to a client’s ongoing problems with her siblings’ argumentative nature.
I want you to know that the choice is yours if you choose to deal with these people. Remember you always have free will, even in the most dire circumstances. You don’t have to be around family members who steal your energy and drop their poison of negative energy and comments on you.
It’s unhealthy to put yourself in situations that are uncomfortable, especially when the environment is saturated with dis-ease. Sometimes you have to exercise your right to say: “No thank you, I will pass!” If you do this, you will find you have more energy for those that do treat you well and don’t talk about you behind your back.
Also, do not allow yourself to feel guilty that your not going to attend. Make positive changes this holiday season by saying no to unnecessary stress, negative people and toxic energy. Embrace your own assertiveness for the betterment of your health and mental well-being.
Sometimes It’s Okay To Keep Your Distance!
Many of us have that one relative we do get along with. In every family there is a ‘Cousin John’ or an ‘Aunt Lydia’ who we simply cannot stand. Try as we might, we just cannot find it in our hearts to love them unconditionally.
In my case it is an uncle who’s views and opinions I just cannot tolerate. I despise all forms of racism, misogyny, and bigotry, and I am also an avid supporter of the LGBTQ community. I have no patience with people who criticize or belittle others for who they were born to be. It is unacceptable and despicable.
For many years now I have been consciously practicing healthy boundaries with relatives and people in general. I preach it! Healthy boundaries are vital for one’s mental health, personal growth and emotional well-being.
My Grandmother and I got along so well when she was in this life. We were like two peas in a pod. When she eventually came to live with us later in her life, there was however one issue that caused tension between us – her son.
My uncle was so out of line, in so many ways that I just could not tolerate having him anywhere near me. He is an extremely hateful man who has no qualms about freely spewing his vitriolic prejudice, verbal abuse and bigoted views in front of anyone who cares to listen, including the children in the family.
My grandmother stubbornly remained loyal to her son through it all, and she could now understand why I could not accept him. She said that it was such a shame that we could not all get along, while I felt it as a shame that he is so hateful. She would make excuses for him, saying for example that he was bullied in school. But I felt he should work on himself, instead of hating on other folks for no reason. She could not see my perspective from her way of thinking. Continue reading
Dealing With ‘Unawakened’ Friends And Family
Spiritual awakening is a profound shift in our perception that forever alters the way we experience life. But after we have made the shift it can be difficult to relate to less spiritually aware friends and relatives and leave one feeling lonely and deeply isolated.
The following strategies can be helpful in cultivating more harmony between yourself and ‘unconscious’ people without compromising your own energy vibration.
COMPASSION AND EMPATHY
At one time you were also not awakened. Think back to what that was like. What kind of thoughts dominated your mind? How did you feel about your life? How did you feel in general? The truth is, although you’ve gone through a spiritual awakening, you can still relate to those who have not. You have a point of reference for this.
Someone who is unconscious typically doesn’t have a pleasant inner world, because they aren’t intentionally governing it. Think back to what your life and most importantly – your relationship with yourself and your mind – looked like before your awakening. What did your own resistance look like? At some point your perspective shifted. But prior to that point – how receptive were you to changing your views and ideas? Especially when a family member came to you and said, “Hey, you’re doing it wrong.”
Put yourself in their shoes. Now that you’ve awakened you have the pleasure to start putting it to use in a way that serves the highest and best good of all. Remember that every soul is a spiritual being, and just because you have awakened to this fact, does not make you ‘better than’ anyone else. This is a trap that the ego likes to throw up early, and often along the spiritual path.
The ego is something we must constantly be mindful of. You are not more spiritual because you are vegan, or because you meditate, or because you do Yoga. If you are living in judgment of others through these practices, you are trapped in ego. Be mindful of yourself and come back to a state of compassion and empathy. Allow people to awaken in their own time.