intimacy
The Transformative Power Of Vulnerability
I find that spirit wants to remind us that vulnerability offers us a special kind of magic in our lives. It is a theme that comes up regularly in psychic readings I do for my clients.
Vulnerability can transform lives, careers, relationships and families in profound ways. But for many of us, life has taught us that being vulnerable is a ‘weakness’ that puts us at risk.
Many of us have built walls around ourselves to protect ourselves because we feel we risk rejection, judgment, or failure if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The ego tells us it’s best not to take those risks at all!
Instead, we harden our hearts and keep our distance, choosing to figure out what others might think, feel or do before we are willing to put ourselves out there in any way.
But by shying away from being open, authentic, and transparent with our thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and desires, we actually block the very outcomes in life that we hope for.
So, how do you get more comfortable opening up and allowing yourself to be authentic and vulnerable? And how does that open you up to the very results you want to manifest in your life?
A True Soulmate Connection
As a psychic consultant, I have the unique daily privilege of guiding clients through the complexities of life, including the challenges of romance, dating, and committed relationships. A popular topic in my readings is the question of soulmates.
Personally, I have had an interesting journey in this regard that has shaped my understanding of soulmates and the deep connections that can exist between two people beyond the realm of romantic love.
Since the age of 16, I have shared an extraordinary bond with a very special man. Our connection defies conventional labels and goes far beyond the boundaries of a typical friendship or romance.
We’ve always had an uncanny ability to truly understand each other, offer each other unwavering support, and share a safe space for vulnerability and authenticity. We are soulmates in every sense of the word.
People often associate the term ‘soulmate‘ with a special romantic partner, but my journey with this wonderful friend has shown me that soulmates come in many forms. Our relationship is a testament to the fact that soulmates are not limited to romantic entanglements and can play a unique and profound role in our lives.
Empaths And Endings
Anger is one of the most difficult emotions for the empath to navigate, and the ending of a relationship is definitely one of the most challenging of all.
Any relationship that falls apart is tough, but if you are an empath you may well find yourself trying to navigate some very overwhelming waters. Not only will you be feeling your own pain, anger and confusion, but you will also sense your partner’s feelings, and possibly even that of your families and mutual friends.
Trying to make sense of all these emotional energies, staying centered and sorting out your own feelings separate from your partner’s is a very tall order.
Chances are you have also been sensing that something had been radically amiss for some time, before your love finally went on the rocks. It is important to take time to look back and remember when you first sensed something was off. Empaths are often aware of their partner’s moods and feelings, and may act on it too prematurely. Pushing too soon can result in the partner shutting down, or insisting that nothing is wrong. The problem is, however, that an empath will feel that something is wrong and will not be able to shake that feeling. You knew something was wrong… and you were right!
It is critical that you shift your focus away from your partner and towards taking care of yourself. Allow your emotions to flow. An empath is always going to be more focused on the other party’s actions, reactions and feelings. You automatically link in to them instead of you. To move through this painful experience you must shift your focus and concentrate on you.
Eye Gazing As A Spiritual Practice
Eye gazing is a powerful, ancient practice in which two people engage in a shared meditation practice during which eye contact is maintained for an extended period of time. Eye gazing is usually done for about ten minutes at a time, although it can certainly be any duration preferred.
Eye gazing can be used to access past life information, promote healing, connect to your higher self, guides, or angels, and almost anything else you can imagine. The eyes are the windows to our soul, and our soul is the singularity that connects us to everything else: the Universe, Source, God, the Divine. Eye gazing is also a profound manifesting tool we can use to further develop our ‘spiritual muscles,’ so to speak.
Before you include eye gazing in your spiritual practice, I recommend you read my previous blog on the essentials of eye gazing. Once you are more familiar with the basics, you can also apply the following guidelines to your eye gazing practice.
To use eye gazing for a specific purpose, you must set a clear intention beforehand, and then hold that intention throughout the gaze. You hold an intention by simply keeping a gentle awareness in the back of your mind that what you are seeing during the gaze is relevant to your intention, and trusting that whatever comes forward is always relevant.
It’s important not to simultaneously hold any expectations about what you’re going to see, or to resist anything that comes up spontaneously, just because you don’t immediately see its relevance or connection to your intention. Keep an open mind and be flexible and accepting in the flow of your gazing experience.
If you’re gazing alone, sit comfortably in front of a mirror, take a few centering breaths, and then state your intention out loud. I prefer to speak aloud in my spiritual practice whenever possible, as words are energy forms and therefore add a ‘weight’ to our prayer requests, intentions, and affirmations. State your intention out loud and ask Spirit to provide insight around this intention. Use language that feels right for you.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
The Powerful Practice Of Eye Gazing
Eye gazing, also known as ‘soul gazing,’ is a powerful meditative practice that can be done on your own, or with a partner. Eye gazing is an ancient tantric practice of looking deeply into someone’s eyes to foster a spiritual connection.
Eye gazing is a potent means of connecting with yourself and others to build genuine connection in your life. It is also an exciting way to build meaningful intimacy with a romantic partner. If you have trouble opening up to others, eye gazing can be an effective tool to help you get comfortable and confront any fears you may have around being seen. It can be done alone, with a friend, or with a romantic partner.
It is also a powerful tool for discovering how past lives may be helping or hindering you in your current incarnation, and for receiving messages directly from Spirit. It can be used as a method for communication with your guides and higher self.
Anyone can eye gaze, and I feel everyone should try it at least once! Whether you do it alone or with a partner, eye gazing can offer some profound insight and create potent shifts in our perspective that allow you to break limiting patterns in your life.
Eye gazing requires no special equipment or paraphernalia to set the mood, although it can be pleasant to light some incense or candles if desired. You can also use music but ensure that it is meditative, gentle, instrumental music without lyrics that will not distract you. The only thing you really need is a timer, as well as a partner, or mirror if you are gazing by yourself.
Typically, I encourage people to start gazing for just a few minutes at a time, but as you become more comfortable you can certainly increase the length of your gazes.
Tune Into The Guidance Of Your Emotions
I believe our emotions are an additional ‘sense’ we use as a means of interpreting our life experiences, in the same way the normal five senses enable us to perceive and understand the world around us. Our ‘emotional sense’ help us make decisions about our preferences all the time.
For example, I love chocolate. My sense of taste tells me that chocolate is for me! It’s a very clear and obvious signal from my taste buds to my brain. We receive and process stimuli all the time and our senses help us to ‘make sense’ of that input.
Your emotions are also giving you information about your preferences and if we listen and pay attention, we can gain a lot of guidance from it. Our emotions don’t just come from nowhere. They arise in direct response to stimuli or input, just like our senses do.
I have also heard emotions described as an internal guidance system, or our inner compass, which helps us decide what we want to create more of, and less of, in our life. We sometimes get confused though, because just like the other senses, we have different preferences.
For example, some people love coconut desserts, but I detest then. Not thanks, keep your coconut out of my chocolate! The thing is, I’m not confused about the fact that I don’t like coconut. I also don’t feel I have to change my preference because other people love coconut. And I also don’t force myself to eat it, just to make other people happy.
When one of our five physical senses tells us something we tend to listen, because it’s visceral. We feel it undeniably in the body. Emotions are no different!
When you are heartbroken, do you not feel it in your chest as a physical pain? When you are embarrassed, do your cheeks or ears not become flushed? Or how about when someone you love hugs you so warm and deliciously, all your muscles just ‘melt’ into that person? These are all physical responses the accompany our emotions.