intimacy
Empaths And Endings
Anger is one of the most difficult emotions for the empath to navigate, and the ending of a relationship is definitely one of the most challenging of all.
Any relationship that falls apart is tough, but if you are an empath you may well find yourself trying to navigate some very overwhelming waters. Not only will you be feeling your own pain, anger and confusion, but you will also sense your partner’s feelings, and possibly even that of your families and mutual friends.
Trying to make sense of all these emotional energies, staying centered and sorting out your own feelings separate from your partner’s is a very tall order.
Chances are you have also been sensing that something had been radically amiss for some time, before your love finally went on the rocks. It is important to take time to look back and remember when you first sensed something was off. Empaths are often aware of their partner’s moods and feelings, and may act on it too prematurely. Pushing too soon can result in the partner shutting down, or insisting that nothing is wrong. The problem is, however, that an empath will feel that something is wrong and will not be able to shake that feeling. You knew something was wrong… and you were right!
It is critical that you shift your focus away from your partner and towards taking care of yourself. Allow your emotions to flow. An empath is always going to be more focused on the other party’s actions, reactions and feelings. You automatically link in to them instead of you. To move through this painful experience you must shift your focus and concentrate on you.
Eye Gazing As A Spiritual Practice
Eye gazing is a powerful, ancient practice in which two people engage in a shared meditation practice during which eye contact is maintained for an extended period of time. Eye gazing is usually done for about ten minutes at a time, although it can certainly be any duration preferred.
Eye gazing can be used to access past life information, promote healing, connect to your higher self, guides, or angels, and almost anything else you can imagine. The eyes are the windows to our soul, and our soul is the singularity that connects us to everything else: the Universe, Source, God, the Divine. Eye gazing is also a profound manifesting tool we can use to further develop our ‘spiritual muscles,’ so to speak.
Before you include eye gazing in your spiritual practice, I recommend you read my previous blog on the essentials of eye gazing. Once you are more familiar with the basics, you can also apply the following guidelines to your eye gazing practice.
To use eye gazing for a specific purpose, you must set a clear intention beforehand, and then hold that intention throughout the gaze. You hold an intention by simply keeping a gentle awareness in the back of your mind that what you are seeing during the gaze is relevant to your intention, and trusting that whatever comes forward is always relevant.
It’s important not to simultaneously hold any expectations about what you’re going to see, or to resist anything that comes up spontaneously, just because you don’t immediately see its relevance or connection to your intention. Keep an open mind and be flexible and accepting in the flow of your gazing experience.
If you’re gazing alone, sit comfortably in front of a mirror, take a few centering breaths, and then state your intention out loud. I prefer to speak aloud in my spiritual practice whenever possible, as words are energy forms and therefore add a ‘weight’ to our prayer requests, intentions, and affirmations. State your intention out loud and ask Spirit to provide insight around this intention. Use language that feels right for you.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
The Powerful Practice Of Eye Gazing
Eye gazing, also known as ‘soul gazing,’ is a powerful meditative practice that can be done on your own, or with a partner. Eye gazing is an ancient tantric practice of looking deeply into someone’s eyes to foster a spiritual connection.
Eye gazing is a potent means of connecting with yourself and others to build genuine connection in your life. It is also an exciting way to build meaningful intimacy with a romantic partner. If you have trouble opening up to others, eye gazing can be an effective tool to help you get comfortable and confront any fears you may have around being seen. It can be done alone, with a friend, or with a romantic partner.
It is also a powerful tool for discovering how past lives may be helping or hindering you in your current incarnation, and for receiving messages directly from Spirit. It can be used as a method for communication with your guides and higher self.
Anyone can eye gaze, and I feel everyone should try it at least once! Whether you do it alone or with a partner, eye gazing can offer some profound insight and create potent shifts in our perspective that allow you to break limiting patterns in your life.
Eye gazing requires no special equipment or paraphernalia to set the mood, although it can be pleasant to light some incense or candles if desired. You can also use music but ensure that it is meditative, gentle, instrumental music without lyrics that will not distract you. The only thing you really need is a timer, as well as a partner, or mirror if you are gazing by yourself.
Typically, I encourage people to start gazing for just a few minutes at a time, but as you become more comfortable you can certainly increase the length of your gazes.
Your Sacred Creative Energy
One of the most powerful and sacred energies we have is our located in our Sacral Chakra, the seat of our sexual and creative energy. This chakra is located just underneath the navel and associated with the color orange.
Orange is the most creative color. I always recommend to my clients who are struggling to design, paint, sculpt, write, choreograph, compose, manifest, or get pregnant, to introduce as much orange in their life as possible. This means wearing orange, decorating your art studio with orange, and even eating oranges and carrots and other orange-colored foods!
Nothing is more powerful or important in life than to create another life. To create a new opportunity for soul growth. To give access to another being to be able to use the planet for spiritual growth. For this reason, our sexual energy and creative energy are intertwined.
When a client tells me they are having a hard time writing their book or completing an art project, I always look into what is happening in there romantic and sex life. Usually there is a problem in this aspect of their life. For example, an unhealthy sexual relationship involving abuse or perversion will stifle someone’s creative energy.
It is vital to know that every person you are sexually intimate with will leave a residue of their energy with you and take some of yours. Sex creates an energy cord between your and the other person. If this is not a healthy sexual exchange, then it may become both energetically and karmically toxic.
The abuse of our own sexuality, as well as the sexual abuse of others, can damage our creative energy. Abuse it, and you will lose it. Sexual trauma is stored in the body and can cause reproductive, psychological and creative damage. Sexual trauma as an adult, or in our childhood, needs a lot of work and time, and sometimes expert guidance, in order to heal.
The Soul Future Of Past Relationships
To outward appearances, endings are a structural matter – now there is a relationship, now there is no relationship. From the soul point of view, ending is a different experience of the relationship.
Ending is not literal at all, but rather a radical shift in imagination. For example, a woman’s father passes on. In her soul the relationship may now intensify and may become the dominant myth shaping her other relationships, her career, and every other aspect of her life.
Memories of her father may now become more vivid than ever, and new feelings may surface. He may be more influential in her life now than when he was alive.
Another example might be a man who divorces his wife, thinking that now his thoughts will turn toward a new life. With the struggle of decision and separation now passed, feelings formerly nudged out of awareness now come to the forefront.
Completely unexpectedly, he now has dreams of her seducing him, suggesting that in some way ‘she’ now has renewed desired for him. Years later, he says what many people say: “I didn’t have to go through that divorce. If only I had known then what I know now…”
Apparently there is something in every relationship that is eternal, that goes on forever, and that wants to be exempted from the life-decision to cut ties. If you are experiencing this, it is not your imagination. You are simply being quite human.
Obviously, our relationships are not as simple or as limited in scope as we sometimes like to think them to be. There are only so many people we come to know in a lifetime, and an even smaller number with whom we live intimately. Continue reading
A Sweetening Ritual To Rekindle Your Love
The traditional love spell is a metaphysical practice that is ill-advised and extremely selfish, because it aims to influence and interfere with someone else´s free will. This is never a good idea. The endulzamiento or ‘sweetening’ ritual, also known as a ‘honey jar spell,’ is a better and safer alternative.
A sweetening has similar aims as a love spell, but its mechanism is very different. It is a simple act that seeks to attract higher, more positive energy to your relationship. It´s about finding a better way for both you and your partner. It aims to improve communication and find the best in each-other. In essence one can describe it as ‘kindness magic.’
A sweetening not only enhances positive feelings and attitudes in the relationship, but also seeks to remove all negative feelings and attitudes. For this reason, a sweetening is always considered to be a good metaphysical strategy when difficulties and conflicts are causing damage in your relationship.
Execute a sweetening when you feel you need to save your relationship, or when you want to reawaken the feelings and get the renewed attention of that someone special in your life.
Many people forget what a passionate, intimate, warm and satisfying relationship is like. I have seen many couples wear themselves out with routine, complacency, getting stuck in a rut and taking each other for granted. In time it leads to boredom, emotional exhaustion, unwanted tension, and conflict at every turn.
As it happens gradually, we typically do not notice the decline of passion in our relationships, and we get used to living with a second-rate version of our original love. That initial loving feeling tends to grow cold with the passing of the months and years. A sweetening ritual is the perfect recipe to recover the nature and quality of that original relationship.