imperfection
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
Control Is The Opposite of Love
I have learned that communication glitches and other side-effects of a Mercury retrograde can actually offer us valuable life lessons if we choose to pay attention.
For example, during the recent retrograde my daughter suffered a migraine on a day she was supposed to visit me. I decided not to pick her up, because she said she was not feeling strong enough. She is prediabetic and I pray and light candles for her daily.
So, I texted her a get-well soon message along with an animated chicken soup meme. Feeling worried about her, I checked in periodically throughout the day see if she had received her ‘virtual chicken soup.’ But the message read receipt only showed ‘delivered.’ No read receipt.
The next day, the text message suddenly showed it had been ‘read,’ but it had the previous afternoon’s timestamp? I noticed a similar phenomenon when co-parenting communication with my daughter’s father also suddenly failed repeatedly and produced delayed read receipts.
Instead of becoming frustrated about it, I contemplated the matter and came to an enlightening conclusion. Spirit clearly said to me, “The need for control is the opposite of love’s vibration.”
This is so very true. Controlling energy is toxic energy. It was a gentle reminder that I need to keep working on releasing my desire to try and be in perfect control of everything in my life at all times.
When we constantly feel the need to control every aspect of our day, rather than letting the energies of universal love, joy and abundance flow freely in our life, we block our blessings and personal growth.
Do You Have A Map For Your Love Journey?
In my experience as a psychic advisor everyone has a unique love journey. Love is a big question for many of my callers, yet the answers from spirit are never exactly the same.
Two of the recurring themes I often find in love and relationship readings are that people have a unique set of dealbreakers, as well as personal love languages. And when these differing needs, wants and expectations are mismatched in a love connection it leads to much disappointment, frustration, heartbreak, and even abuse.
If you have been struggling in the romance department, a good place to start improving your chances of finding or building a lasting love connection is to become more self-aware and conscious of your actual expectations. I find many people lack clarity on this and therefore tend to figure it out by trial and error, which is seldom the best approach.
The first step is to figure out what your love language is. How do you expect to me treated by your partner? How should they ideally behave towards you in your relationship dynamic? If we do not know what love behavior we need from a partner, we are also not able to clearly ask for it. And if we do not ask for what we want and need, we are unlikely to receive it.
For example, some people need lots of verbal affirmation in a relationship, while others value physical touch, or receiving gifts, or acts of kindness, or intellectual stimulation, or emotional support. Some simply require quality time, sharing interests, or having their partner’s full attention from time to time. What is your love language? Continue reading
Embrace The New Solar Year Without The Self-Sabotage
On March 21st we entered a new solar year ruled by the planet Jupiter, which promises luck, healing, abundance, and happiness. The last two years have been challenging and an extreme test of our values and beliefs, but the time has now come to rise above it and use the energy of the planet Jupiter to make the most of this new solar year. It is time for us to now enjoy the fruits of our struggle.
But when we are in such a transition process there are always things that slow us down or hold us back. Fortunately, there are ways to erase these obstacles to ensure a much more smooth transition. If you are struggling to embrace the new year solar year energy of Jupiter, you may be dealing with one or more of the following self-sabotaging energy blockages.
FALSE BELIEFS
The most important thing is to become aware if you have a negative mindset caused by certain fears and false beliefs. Make a list of every negative idea or false belief you may have about the future. Then rewrite each of them in a positive form and also in the present tense. For example, if you worry that the pandemic may never end and our lives will never me normal again, rephrase that notion as: “The pandemic will end in due course and life will eventually return to an even better version of normal.” It’s almost like overwriting an old computer program.
VICTIM MENTALITY
Realize that you alone can change your life for the better. Nobody else is going to do it for you. The more you direct the focus away from your own responsibility and self-empowerment, and instead focus on others in a negative way, the more you remain in the passive, victim role and nothing can truly change. Forgive people in your life and take back your power. A better life and brighter future begins with yourself. Continue reading
Your Eternal Core Of Divine Perfection
As I was coming out of meditation today, I had a message from Spirit. I was shown the beautiful ball of infinite Light that each of us are at the core. We are eternal Love and Light.
No matter what we learn, or how much earthly information we take in, no matter how much experience we accumulate in life on any given topic – at our core, we are already perfect in spirit.
This was an interesting insight for me, as a person who’s spent most of her life chasing after more metaphysical knowledge and deeper spiritual experiences, only to find that none of the constant searching and spiritual work I had accomplished really matters when it comes down to the Light at the core of my being.
Sure, I have experienced a greater sense of expansion and mental understanding, from doing lots of spiritual work on myself, however, the innate perfection of who I am within, remains untouched and already perfect.
Some might disagree with this and say that it’s not true, but this is beyond anything we could think, say, or do, it’s our original State of Being that remains untouched by anything while we are here in human form.
I can say, however, especially as a Gemini, that when I’m called or propelled to do something different, or learn something new, it might take an army of thousands to stop me from doing it! When I feel guided to pursue something, I will move toward that and put a lot of my time and energy into it.
What is however interesting, is that the divine, eternal part of us, the higher self, the ball of Light so to speak, is totally fine whether we pursue these things or not, because who we are with or without this knowledge or accomplishment, is already whole and complete.
If so, then why bother doing anything at all in this life, if it doesn’t really matter and if we are already whole? My understanding is that we we can only follow the curiosity of the great mystery, as we make our way along our life journey.
The Key To A Lasting Relationship Is Inner Peace
One of the most consistent issues that often come up in relationship readings is what I call the ‘peace vibe.’ And this kind of inner peace is associated with our capacity to trust in an abundant universe. Most of my clients believe there is a divine power greater than us, but trusting that this power can help us create a positive momentum in our lives is another story entirely!
It is said that Albert Einstein once remarked that the most important decision we have to make in this life is whether we believe in a friendly, or hostile universe. This is the foundational question when talking about whether we are in the ‘vibe of peace,’ or not. If someone is constantly waiting for the proverbial ‘shoe to drop,’ they are likely not living in peace.
You see, our point of attraction is determined by our vibes (energy vibration), which is why inner peace is such an important concept in manifesting a lasting, successful relationship. Trust is the key foundation for all relationships. Sure, all relationships also pose an element of risk, but a hyper-focus on the risk will only create a mental and emotional environment that does not facilitate a happy and healthy relationship. In fact, with my experience of doing love and relationship readings for the past 20 years, I would go as far as to say that without trust there really is no relationship.
So, how does this work? Well, have you ever noticed that highly critical people will always find something or someone to judge or criticize? There is never a lack of reasons for criticism from disapproving or disparaging people. The same is also true when there is a lack of inner peace. Chaos naturally follows chaotic people, while people who choose serenity and joy experience more serenity and joy in their lives.
How To Overcome Negative Thought Patterns
There are times when one may be feeling very serene, and completely at peace with ourselves and the world. One may even be feeling highly satisfied with the spiritual growth and personal healing you have accomplished thus far. Then, quite unexpectedly, you lose your sense of alignment. You suddenly feel ‘disconnected’ from the source of our being.
This feeling is especially triggered when one feels overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, or the constant demands of others. And once we slip into this negative state of mind, many deeply buried, unpleasant memories tend to emerge in our consciousness in the form of haunting ‘flashbacks.’
I recently heard a friend referring to this experience as cognitive distortion. We can so easily begin to catastrophize, and expect the ‘other shoe to drop,’ once our anxiety level becomes this amplified. The mind is powerful and under these circumstances we tend to indulge in a lot of ‘what if’ thinking. The mind races, imagining all the worst case scenarios as potential outcomes.
This kind of catastrophic thinking typically takes our mind into two directions. Firstly, it puts a truly negative spin on the current situation. And secondly, it causes us to anticipate all the many, many things that could possibly go wrong in the future.
Polarized thinking is another problem for some of us. This thought pattern is when we only see things in terms of right or wrong, and this can lead to setting unachievable standards for ourselves and others, as well as send our stress levels through the roof! Polarized thinking crops up when we find ourselves basing our hopes and expectations on, for example, getting that dream job, impressing other people, finding our soulmate, becoming famous, and so on.