imperfection
How To Overcome Negative Thought Patterns
There are times when one may be feeling very serene, and completely at peace with ourselves and the world. One may even be feeling highly satisfied with the spiritual growth and personal healing you have accomplished thus far. Then, quite unexpectedly, you lose your sense of alignment. You suddenly feel ‘disconnected’ from the source of our being.
This feeling is especially triggered when one feels overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, or the constant demands of others. And once we slip into this negative state of mind, many deeply buried, unpleasant memories tend to emerge in our consciousness in the form of haunting ‘flashbacks.’
I recently heard a friend referring to this experience as cognitive distortion. We can so easily begin to catastrophize, and expect the ‘other shoe to drop,’ once our anxiety level becomes this amplified. The mind is powerful and under these circumstances we tend to indulge in a lot of ‘what if’ thinking. The mind races, imagining all the worst case scenarios as potential outcomes.
This kind of catastrophic thinking typically takes our mind into two directions. Firstly, it puts a truly negative spin on the current situation. And secondly, it causes us to anticipate all the many, many things that could possibly go wrong in the future.
Polarized thinking is another problem for some of us. This thought pattern is when we only see things in terms of right or wrong, and this can lead to setting unachievable standards for ourselves and others, as well as send our stress levels through the roof! Polarized thinking crops up when we find ourselves basing our hopes and expectations on, for example, getting that dream job, impressing other people, finding our soulmate, becoming famous, and so on.
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with self. And the cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust. Unfortunately, it is easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because all of us have or will make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves; a job opportunity eludes us; or a friendship fractures beyond repair. We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we may begin to question our own abilities, our dreams, and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event we label a failure the doubt in our own judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can be a vicious one.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t, I know I should have done…,” then stop and choose to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
The Fallacy Of Being Perfect
People who go around trying to be perfect, or aim to “live up to their maximum potential” seldom seem to be happy. Neither do they appear to be living fulfilling lives. Their constant striving to achieve or maintain perfectionism seems to take the joy out of their lives.
Spirit inspired this chain of thought in me as I remembered three psychic readings that I did recently. The theme of perfectionism and potential had a profound effect on all three of my clients’ lives and or their loved ones. With their permission I am briefly sharing their stories here.
The first client called me upset, because she felt she had ruined their holiday stressing about wanting to make everything perfect. Not only did she take the fun out of it for herself, but for everyone else involved.
I connected with Spirit and received this message for her: “Doing special things like making Easter eggs and cooking Thanksgiving dinner should be enjoyable. Some people will like it, and some people won’t. Next week no one will remember. Learn to enjoy these activities more, and just go with ebb and flow. Spirit then also offer tools she can use to help her relax. Continue reading
I’m A Perfect Five On A Scale Of One To Ten
I’m a perfect ‘five’ on a scale of one to ten… and I love it! When we learn to be a five, we’re relishing the right to be okay, yet not to have to be a perfect ten. We would all like to be absolutely perfect. Yet, no one is. We would like our heroes, our crushes, our partners to be ‘the one’ by fulfilling all our needs, but we forget that in order for that to be, we too have to be a perfect ‘ten.’ Still, and perhaps, sadly, no one is.
The worst part is, when our beloved tries to change, we often doubt them. We wonder why he said this, or why he didn’t do that, because he always did before! We shouldn’t ask for changes if we don’t really want them. Changes hurt, just as pulling the splinter out sometimes hurts. It causes us to bleed, but in order to heal, the splinter has to come out. Continue reading