toxic relationship
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.
Getting More Out Of Life With Your Psychic Reading
Working as a psychic reader for so many years, I have learned a lot about the human condition. I have learned, for example, that all of us essentially want the same things in life. We all want to be loved and accepted, appreciated for our talents and gifts, and we all need a sense of belonging, and to feel secure, safe, and happy.
These are fundamental needs and a natural part of being human. How we satisfy these basic needs, and how we decide what brings us happiness, is where we differ as individuals. It matters not how our preferences differ, but instead that we can find ways to fulfill these needs, while maintaining our soul growth and purpose.
One person may be happy in the type of relationship that affords her the independence to travel with her girlfriends and to have time and space for herself, her hobbies and interests, and her spiritual practice. Another may prefer a partner to spend most of his free time with her, shares the same interests, and showers her with constant attention and gifts.
Over the years, I have witnessed how certain clients more easily achieve the type of relationship they want, while others struggle with one unhealthy relationship after the other. The same goes for career opportunities, business ventures, and finances too.
We all have areas in life where we need to open up, expand our awareness, and grow as a soul. I’ve found that my job as a psychic reader is not only to tell my client all I see around them, but to also help them grow spiritually. My job is to help my clients achieve their personal and spiritual goals in all aspects of their life.
This becomes challenging when someone tells me they do not care about their personal and spiritual growth, or how they can achieve more of what they want. Instead, they only want what they want right now, and are unwilling to look at the bigger picture of what can be done to increase the likelihood of reaching their goal. This is often the reason why some become stuck in dead-end, toxic relationships, for example.
Manifesting A Better Life Starts With You
Anyone can manifest what they want and need in life. It all comes down to energy because we are spirit energy in human form. The energy we put out; is the energy we receive back. It pretty much is that simple. But we also need to believe this, for it helps a great deal in bringing it closer to us.
So, how does this energy swapping process work? Well, it begins with focusing on something that you really want or need. Then think more on it, request it, wish it, desire it. This is called the process of manifesting or deliberate creating or cosmic ordering. You are putting your wish or desire out into to the Universe, and Universe, Spirit, God, the Divine receives this information and ultimately brings it back to you in manifested form as a gift or blessing.
Some people are more in-tune with the Universe than others, or more aligned with Spirit, and therefore able to manifest more easily and quickly. But while some of us believe wholeheartedly and have absolutely no doubt, others may be more hesitant or uncertain about what to believe, or not. Fortunately, no matter where you fall on the belief spectrum, you can still use manifesting to assist you in life, but your results will vary based on your faith.
One can manifest with positive thinking, prayer, affirmations or meditation, but I find that focused visualizations, creating a vision board, and writing down your wishes, seem to make it even more powerful! It’s as if the Universe says, “Wow, she is really serious about this, and asking so sincerely, let me reward her efforts!”
Sometimes manifesting can grind to a complete halt for us. We all have to grow, and learn, and evolve spiritually. If we do not do this, the Universe is not too happy when we repeat the same old patterns, make the same old mistakes, and show little effort to become a better person, or a more evolved soul. We cannot expect to receive spiritual rewards or gifts until we make the necessary changes. Successful manifesting goes hand in hand with personal growth and spiritual expansion. Continue reading
The Key To A Lasting Relationship Is Inner Peace
One of the most consistent issues that often come up in relationship readings is what I call the ‘peace vibe.’ And this kind of inner peace is associated with our capacity to trust in an abundant universe. Most of my clients believe there is a divine power greater than us, but trusting that this power can help us create a positive momentum in our lives is another story entirely!
It is said that Albert Einstein once remarked that the most important decision we have to make in this life is whether we believe in a friendly, or hostile universe. This is the foundational question when talking about whether we are in the ‘vibe of peace,’ or not. If someone is constantly waiting for the proverbial ‘shoe to drop,’ they are likely not living in peace.
You see, our point of attraction is determined by our vibes (energy vibration), which is why inner peace is such an important concept in manifesting a lasting, successful relationship. Trust is the key foundation for all relationships. Sure, all relationships also pose an element of risk, but a hyper-focus on the risk will only create a mental and emotional environment that does not facilitate a happy and healthy relationship. In fact, with my experience of doing love and relationship readings for the past 20 years, I would go as far as to say that without trust there really is no relationship.
So, how does this work? Well, have you ever noticed that highly critical people will always find something or someone to judge or criticize? There is never a lack of reasons for criticism from disapproving or disparaging people. The same is also true when there is a lack of inner peace. Chaos naturally follows chaotic people, while people who choose serenity and joy experience more serenity and joy in their lives.
The Real Truth About Finding Love
I have been doing psychic readings for almost 20 years now, and the one topic that seems to come up most consistently is romantic love. The main issue that comes up all too frequently in these readings is a confusion about what love really is, and how to find true love.
The first thing I need to point out here is that the idea of ‘finding love’ is completely off-base to begin with. The notion that love must be ‘found’ makes very little from a metaphysical and spiritual perspective, and it is often the main reason why some people find their romantic relationships so challenging.
To say that one must ‘find love’ implies that love is somehow missing, lost, or in hiding. It suggests that love is limited and scarce, and that the experience of love is hidden and very complicated to access. The truth is that love is a transcendent, limitless force, and there is only one love that we all have equal access to.
This is another quandary that people have when they are looking to manifest romantic love in their life – they try to separate love into categories. Yes, there are different expressions of love, but in the end there is only one love. And everyone has access to it. Love is less about finding the ‘right circumstances’ and more about aligning with the vibe of love.
So, what is love? Is it ‘unconditional?’ In my view this is just another way of saying that love is limited. It also implies that there are two different forms of love – conditional and unconditional. This makes no sense, because there is only one love and this one love is always unconditional. Love is unconditional acceptance.
In my experience, this is what most of us are really looking for: unconditional acceptance. We experience love when we unconditionally accept ourselves, others, and our circumstances.
Nurture Your Friendships In These Difficult Times
My how time flies! And the older I become, the quicker it seems to go. Looking at my calendar this morning I was reminded that we are now well into the Fall, or Autumn. The year 2020 has indeed had its particular challenges, and soon we will all have to be ready for yet another journey around the Sun.
What has 2020 been teaching you? For me, the difficulties and drama of this year reminded me how important our relationships are. Our relationships with our partners, children, relatives, coworkers and friends, as well as our relationship with nature and spirit.
This crazy year made me realize once again how easily we take for granted the people who add value to our lives. This is especially true of our friends, who basically have no obligation to be a part of our lives. For many of us, these are the people who have kept us sane and kept us going during the Covid-19 pandemic. They are often the people who constantly enhance our lives no end, month after month, and year after year. But do we make enough of an effort to always look out for them too?
Please consider the following when it comes to nurturing your friendships, in good times and bad. It will help them to blossom and grow.
Show Your Friends They Matter
While lockdowns and social distancing may have prevented you from seeing your friends in person, you can still show them how much you care by sending a simple text, a small gift, or hand-written note, or even a video message, just to let them know you are thinking of them during these challenging times. You may never know how much such a small gesture might mean to them. Continue reading