toxic relationship
When Relationships Are Not Meant To Be
I have in recent months become particularly aware how many people are increasingly reminiscing about failed past relationships. In some cases, these are relationships that go back many years. Some folks even go as far as stalking their ex-partners on social media!
I believe it is mainly due to the unusual circumstances caused by the pandemic over the past two years, which prevented the possibility of meeting a new people, or going out on dates. It also brought many of us intense life lessons regarding love, connection, belonging, and loneliness.
I see these issues coming up in many readings nowadays and it often doesn´t sit too well with some of my clients, who tend to feel that their ‘love luck is down,’ or that that the universe is somehow ‘punishing’ them. In extreme cases, folks even believe a hex or curse may have been placed on them.
I also find many people are talking about ´what ifs.’ If only they had done things differently, how things might have turned out differently. But perhaps, if things were meant to have worked out differently, it would have? Again, this would fall in line with certain life lessons we came to this world to experience. I believe we have chosen to incarnate into this world at a time when romantic and social relationships often tend to be more fleeting and distant, especially because of digital technology and our rushed modern way of living.
Interestingly, I am also seeing lately more divorcées remarrying their former spouse after spending many years apart, and despite having lived a new life with someone else in the interim. This often drives their children insane after all the heartbreak, drama and grief the divorce had unnecessarily caused the family. Again, a hard lesson, but a life lesson nevertheless for all concerned.
Learning To Truly Be With Yourself
A fellow psychic encouraged me many years ago in a reading to be ‘with myself’ and not just ‘by myself.’ There was a difference she explained, as this was a process of getting to know our own true essence. But being yourself can be an uncomfortable pathway for introspection! It is a lot easier to distract yourself with work, entertainment, chores, socializing and all the other ways we tend to divert our attention away from looking within.
A wise client told me recently that it was during the recent pandemic lockdowns that her journey towards true self-love really began. My clients are often my most important teachers, as they prompt me at times to look deeper into a situation.
She had been going through intense periods of intense reminiscing, especially regarding relationships. Most of her flashbacks related to two significant past relationships which, after investing so much of herself, had not worked out.
One of her partners just didn’t want to commit and was wrapped up in a materialistic obsession of striving to achieve business success. The other, whom she loved very much, left her for another woman.
Ironically, after years of loneliness and looking for ways to fill that void, this ex she whom she used to love so much, recently got back in touch with her. Apparently, he wants to be a part of her life again, once he´s finally sorted out his disastrous relationship with the woman he left her for.
But she now feels she has healed, forgiven him, and truly fallen in love with her own company, and therefore she wouldn’t want him in her space too much, and that any future moments they do spend together will be on her terms.
She has nailed it when it comes to truly being ‘with yourself,’ instead of lonely ´by yourself.’
The Soul Purpose Of Your Life Lessons
Each one of us arrived on the planet with a hand-picked bundle of life lessons we signed up for before birth. These challenges serve as the corner stones our life journey and spiritual path.
Some of our karmic lessons are fun and exciting, while some can be shockingly difficult, even traumatic. How you will ultimately manage to handle them is a lesson within itself.
Our lessons are what will bring us to our highest good in this lifetime, but only if we manage to truly learn from them. Unfortunately, we sometimes tend to hold on to denial and simply refuse to learn. If learning your lessons have slowed you down, rise up and seek the purpose. Begin your move forward to achieve all that has been laid on your life plate.
Life lessons must be dealt with in a manner that will help you gain insight, and possibly even humble you, to seeing life and the world in a different light. Our lessons are however never meant to devastate or destroy us. In the extreme it might bring us to a dangerous edge of realization, but in the end it will always bring forth our most hidden qualities and profound gifts and blessings.
If we take our lessons head on, one by one, and learn each one of them fully, we will never have to learn that same lesson again. But if we choose to block the process and refuse to see the truth, we will experience it over and over, until we have learned.
Over the many years of doing psychic readings, I have found people with benevolent hearts often have many more life lessons to learn. Often these people are spiritual lightworkers or serve in the helping and caring professions And because of their empathy, loving kindness and compassionate generosity towards humanity, nature and all the sentient creatures of the earth, they bear a heavy responsibility in the world. They are the anchors of goodwill toward mankind. They are the keepers of joy, truth, peace, and hope; the Universal healers and earth angels.
Raise Your Vibration With Love And Light
Everything is energy, vibration, and frequency. Everything! Changing your vibration changes your frequency. This can lift the veil between dimensions. You will see things differently. Your intuition will evolve.
If you think limitation, you are limitation. If you think abundance, your are abundance. If you send the universe messages that you deserve something, positive or negative, the universe will send that to you in return. Positive or negative.
I often have clients ask why they keep attracting a certain kind of romantic partner. In my experience the issue is not in the attracting of that person, but rather understanding why they stay with that person.
There are many dysfunctional people in the world. So, attracting dysfunctional people is not unusual. But keeping them in your life, putting up with them, being intimate with them, and marrying them is not about them and their dysfunction. It’s about you. Your vibration is sending out a signal that you believe you deserve that kind of person. If you believe you deserve dysfunction, you will attract dysfunction.
We all meet at least one mentally healthy, well-adjusted person in our lifetime that we were not attracted to. Why? Our vibration was low or not in resonance with that person’s energy.
How do we raise our vibration? By engaging with input energies with high vibration frequencies. If you watch television, watch ‘higher vibration’ television. Bad reality TV, violence, horror movies and crime shows lower your vibration and attract darker energies on all dimensions. Too much radiation from phones, computers and television sets also lowers our vibration.
Lifestyle choices also determine our energetic frequency. Drugs and alcohol lower our vibration. Same goes for processed food with chemicals, additives and pesticides lower our vibration. Conversations that are petty, gossipy, and negative not only degrades others, but also lowers our vibration. Fear, anxiety and anger also lower our vibration.
Making A Meaningful Change
Most of us have been struggling with stress, anxiety and depression over the past two years. Whatever your personal struggles are, they are real and valid. The pandemic has been affecting everyone differently.
It is important to acknowledge your feelings and deal with it. Ignoring your struggles will only allow it to become bigger issues. Stress and trauma takes its toll on all of us, especially if left unattended. The best thing you can do for yourself and the people around you is to process it and work towards healing.
It is also vital to understand that your joy and happiness is not dependent on other people, material things, or external circumstances. It can only be found within yourself. And often the only way to access this happiness and joy within is to make some real, meaningful changes in your life.
Many people never find their joy and happiness, because they do not know what brings them joy and makes them truly happy. This is the big question. Look within and find makes you happiest. Then concentrate on that. Make a plan and start working towards it. It may sound simplistic, but it will soon begin to manifest in your life if you believe it.
For example, if you want to be in a happy, healthy relationship and you are tired of the bad relationship you are currently in, decide to make the change. Simply choose to be happy. You deserve to be happy and to be loved. Decide that you want to make it happen. It really is as simple as that.
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
How To Heal Your Broken Heart
In the 1960’s Roy Orbison belted out the song, It’s Over. Even at four years of age, it stirred my emotions hearing it on the radio. In 1984, I heard the exact same words from a man I very much loved and believed to be ‘the one.’ Thankfully, he was not, but that is another story.
He turned to me and said, “We’re not a good match.”
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. My heart jumped and my knees turned to jelly. I felt so lost and alone, as well as almost every other negative emotion possible…from anger and hurt, to frustration and hopelessness. All these emotions coursed through my body like a freight train.
How was I going to cope without him in my life? What will become of me? What do I do now that it is over?
At 24 years of age, I did not have much experience dealing with loss, disappointment, and grief as I do today. Today, as a practicing psychic with many years of professional experience, I would offer my younger self the following spiritual advice regarding healing a broken heart.
Acknowledge
I believe we can also mourn the living, just as much as we grieve for someone who has passed away. Indeed, acknowledging finality, in whatever form the finality presents itself, can be a challenging thing to do, especially if you are emotionally involved with someone. That said, it is much better than holding onto false hope, which is far worse. Continue reading