suicide
Coping With The Loss Of A Loved One
Many people I know, including myself and several of my clients, have experienced the loss of a child or grandchild.
Losing a grandparent or parent is heartbreaking, but losing a child is absolutely devastating! It is difficult to understand why someone so young is taken before they had a chance to live a full life.
A few years ago, I found some solace for my continuing grief from a very unexpected source.
I am an avid Nascar fan. If you don’t know what Nascar is, it is the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing. Stock car racing is one of the largest spectator sports in America.
A few years ago I watched an interview with one of the masters of this sport, Richard Petty, also known as “The King.” His words struck a deep chord with me.
Richard Petty’s grandson, Adam Petty, was also a racer like his grandfather. He was only 19 when he died in an accident on May 12, 2000 while practicing the sport he loved so much. His car hit the outside wall of the track, killing him instantly.
In the interview I watched, his grandfather spoke of his depression, guilt, grief, and not wanting to get out of bed because he felt he was somehow to blame for encouraging his grandson to pursue this sport that cost him his young life.
Our Choices Are Ours To Make
The past few years have been challenging for everyone. The pandemic, political upheaval, and economic uncertainty have affected lives all over the world.
I have personally witnessed the pain and struggles of many people close to me, as well as my clients.
I even had to take a ‘mental vacation’ at times as I began to feel disoriented and somewhat confused by the messages the angels were giving me.
I asked the why’s with no clear answers. I’ve asked the how’s without sensible explanations. As a lightworker I tend to feel compelled to fix things, to make things better.
Then one day I had a breakthrough when spirit told me clearly that it is not my job to fix everything and everyone.
Spirit has led me to understand that my job is to spread love, light and healing to the best of my ability. How people choose to think, feel and act in response to their life challenges is not for me or anyone else to try to control. Everyone’s choices are theirs to make as they see fit, and with much choice comes much responsibility.
As heartbreaking and frustrating as it may be at times, it is not my place to interfere with other people’s karmic journey and soul plan. This newfound insight was jarringly confirmed by a traumatic event just a few weeks ago.
Jimmy – A True Ghost Story
When I first moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, I lived in one of the three old stage coach depots located here. The two others were owned by Burl Ives and the French Consulate, respectively. I can’t speak for those, but I can tell you about my experiences in the one where I lived.
I lived there for five years and it was totally charming. It had been designated as a guest house on the property, next to the main house. It was built with grey native stone and it looked like a painting by Currier and Ives. The perfect Santa Fe retreat, right? Or, anywhere, for that matter!
But a ‘caretaker’ came along with the place, although I did not know that until after I moved in.
The first fine morning at 4:00 a.m. he announced his presence, although I would soon learn that his appearances were anything but rare. This particular morning, I noticed that the lamp in the living room was flickering a bit. As I had been traveling extensively, I was on Australian time and, fortunately, felt quite alert at 4:00 a.m.
I, promptly, began to investigate. Wondering about the condition of the electrical current, since the house was such an old structure. I turned on other lights to see if they would also flicker. They didn’t, so I checked the relatively new lamp.
Jiggling it, shaking it and using various, and assorted other manipulations, to make it flicker, didn’t do the trick. Hmmm, I thought. Is this possibly an otherworldly entity? I was soon to find out that, indeed, it was not of this dimension, when for several consecutive mornings at the same time, 4:00 a.m., the same lamp would flicker a few times.
Finally, I introduced myself, and the lamp flickered! The lamp was in the front window next to my wingback chair. And, then, I was having a conversation with my chair. It went something like this, “Well, you seem quite benevolent, but what are you doing here?” The lamp flickered again. Although I could feel a presence, I had no fear. So, I became bolder. I asked, “Do you live here?” Again the lamp flickered. Finally, in exasperation, I said “Well, for now I guess you can stay, but you eventually need to move on. Oh, and don’t bring any of your friends here.”
Transmuting Enemy Energy
Some clients ask for readings about people they think of as their enemies, and I’ve seen certain commonalities with this over the years. In these relationships there are typically an energy pattern that has formed to create a dynamic of mistrust, tension, and resentment.
One of the most prevalent issues I have noticed in terms of long-standing resentment or hatred towards another, is that both parties usually consider themselves the ‘victim,’ and that the other person is always in their mind the one who is in the wrong.
When you take it a level deeper, you usually find there was an initial intense or significant energy when these two people first met – be it a lover, friend, or work associate. It is usually a conflicting energy that sets the tone for their future ‘vibe’ with each other.
This initial energy has a resistance to it and eventually takes on a life of its own, separate from the two conflicting parties. Peel away the layers of this ‘enemy energy demon’ and you come to find it is essentially comprised of nothing more than simple fear.
Also, this enemy demon resists the idea of resolution and will not accept its own demise. It will do whatever it can to stay alive, and it feeds off the emotions anger, fear, and sadness. I believe this is what may be responsible for some suicides, violence, acts of terrorism, mass corruption, and others evil we see in the world.
There is never an excuse for violence. If someone is attacking or harming another person, safety and protection come first. Recovering from trauma is not typically something that happens quickly. However, when we are better informed about what is behind the behavior patterns of those who hate us, we can better see to the root of the disease.
You Are Stronger Than You Think
It is a lesser-known fact that depression can show up in our lives at any time, at a moment’s notice, with no warning. You can be in the happiest time of your life, and it can still sneak up on you.
Depression is a sneaky mental illness. You can do the therapy and treatment, the journaling, meditation, affirmations, and energy healing work all you want, but for some of us it can return at any time and still negatively impact our lives.
Emotionally exhausted days in bed or walking around like a zombie with no motivation or life direction. It is like carrying a bag of rocks on your back that gets heavier and heavier, until it finally overwhelms you entirely.
A person with high-functioning depression can fake a huge smile on the outside, while underneath they are falling apart. Their upbeat laughter and busy schedule are simply a coverup for the dark, ominous shadows that follows them everywhere they go.
For some it ends in suicide. Many of the lives tragically lost over the past year were not all directly due to the SARS-CoV-2 virus. The pandemic has also taken the lives of many people who simply could not cope with the trauma of these challenging times.
The world remains so judgmental about mental illness, despite the recent pandemic that has so brutally exposed its prevalence in our society. The pandemic has also not brought people closer together, as one might expect. Instead, it has torn already dysfunctional families, friendships, and workplaces further apart. It has given rise to abuse, anger, hatred, fear, and intolerance.
But you are stronger than you think. You may even be someone else’s rock at the moment and not even know it. And if the worst is currently upon you, or someone you love, call upon your angels, spirit guides and ancestors to hold you up, to guide you and to lift your energy.
Asking ‘Why’ When A Loved One Is Lost
When you lose someone you love in a sudden, unexpected way, such as suicide, a car accident, murder, or domestic violence, it always seems so unfair and tragic. It is usually so difficult to understand why this had to happen?
The truth is that we will never truly know the ‘why’ of things. The biggest regret that I hear from so many bereaved people is that they never had a chance to say goodbye.
Someone passing due to old age or illness usually affords us the time to prepare for the loss and to say our goodbyes. Typically, you will haves some time with the person, to be kinder, to be compassionate and to let them know how much they are loved. A sudden passing robs us of all of this.
I am personally very aware of the emotions, feelings and experiences that come after a loved one’s life is lost so suddenly and unexpectedly. More than a decade ago, I lost my stepson to suicide. He was only 32 years old. Within 2 days of this tragedy, a another local young man also took his life. He was only 22.
The widespread trauma of the pandemic over this past year has brought back many of these feelings for me. Many people I know, all men, have taken their own lives because they have lost their jobs, businesses or life partners. Some of these men were successful business owners, but the lockdowns triggered something inside of them that led them to think suicide was a better way, or the only way out.
I talk to an abuse counselor at least two to three times a month and we discuss the unavailability of abused women to get help, because the shelters that are there to protect them are usually full to capacity. I personally know two women whose lives were tragically ended by an abusive partner or ex-partner who they just could not get away from. You read about these cases almost every day. It makes zero sense if you try to find the logic in it.
And accidents happen in the blink of an eye. Yesterday, it was two locals snowmobiling in our area, who hit each other head on. One passed instantly, the other suffered only minor injuries. The week before it was a tractor trailer hitting a car that pulled out in front of it. The truck driver is fine, but the car and passenger is no longer with us. Continue reading
Paranormal Activity, Or Energy Residue?
Clients sometimes ask me to do an energy clearing in their homes or businesses. In have even been asked to do a cleansing in stables, where the horses had been inexplicably out of sorts and acting out of character. The energy clearing methods I use vary from the more typical Western techniques to traditional African methods that I learned while living there.
One of the most memorable clearings I ever did was for a long-standing client who struggled with a deep sense of guilt over the suicide of her late husband. She had asked me to do an energy clearing ritual in her home, to see what I could pick up.
Her husband had ended his life sitting in a large, plush wingback chair in their home, where they were bringing up their two young children. Apparently, they had argued a lot in the weeks leading up to his death, particularly after he’d discovered her affair with another man.
Guilt overwhelmed her, and her late husband’s family made their judgment of her very clear. They felt his passing was her fault.
In a mediumship reading I did for her, her late husband had come through with messages that proved he had crossed over to the Other Side, that he was at peace, and that she was never to blame for him choosing to depart from this life. Instead, he spoke of his own life-long battle with depression, and his personal failures in their broken marriage.
The mediumship validations were however not enough to ease my client’s haunting feelings of guilt. She was convinced that her husband’s troubled spirit was haunting their home, and she insisted on me doing an energy cleansing. She was, however, not keen on some of the more typical Western clearing methods, nor the shamanic African approaches I offered, so I suggested we simply use some sage incense and prayer, and she was satisfied for me to do so.
She also consented to me having free access to every nook and cranny of the house, because it is often surprising where energy disturbances can reside. She believed there was a heavy, dark cloud of negative energy around that wingback chair, but to my surprise, there was nothing! In fact, the whole room was clear of any negative vibrations. Continue reading