News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

self-compassion

Creating Space Between Yourself And The Addict

click pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comEverybody needs a little time away. Some of us need much longer. I personally know people who have been together for decades, who have found the best way for them to stay together is to give each other some space.

But some of us need even more space than others, especially those of us who are with people who struggle with substance abuse in some way, shape or form. Spirit says that you can still love someone with addiction issues, but you might need some space and time away for your own well-being. I feel strongly that it is unhealthy to stay with someone if they have an addiction, because it does not contribute to peace in the body, mind, spirit, or the home in which you dwell.

Those that have to live with someone who abuses alcohol or drugs, know how hard it can be to have a meaningful conversation or healthy relationship with that person. The energy is always of a lower vibration. And children caught up in those situations have to feel it more than the adults, who may have learned to put up a shield of protection.

We must create a space between us and the addict, in order to keep peace and harmony in the home, for ourselves and those we love and care about. Keeping a peaceful home is a responsibility not only to ourselves, but to those who we are responsible for.

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Forget Self-Love

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you are wounded or unhealed; if you grew up in a dysfunctional family; if you grew up in an environment of poverty, violence, racism, or sexual assault… forget self-love! Seriously. Where on Earth would you have learned the skills for giving yourself some healthy self-love? You will be shooting in the dark trying to do something that you have never seen modeled for you, and never really experienced.

‘Self-love’ has become an overrated marketing slogan to sell self-improvement products and services. Start instead with self-care. This will be difficult enough. If you have children, think back on how complex it was figuring out how to care for your first born. The same concept applies to owning your first pet as an adult. No matter how much you prepared, you were never truly prepared. You made mistakes and you learned from them.

You also discovered that sometimes caring for your child meant doing things that the child did not like, or even hated. Your child would cry, fight, throw a tantrum, while you tried to keep him away from the hot stove, or from putting something harmful in her mouth.

Learning self-care is similar to raising a child or caring for a puppy. However, you will be the child and Spirit will be the  parent. You will make mistakes and you will resist, because some of the things you currently think are acts of self-care are actually harmful to you. Continue reading

Reboot Your Goals With ‘Reset Mondays’

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWe all have goals. We plan to go big in our business, relationships, health, and many other areas of our life. Then we stumble as life happens.

Maybe you cutting out sugar this year, and then you had those chocolate chip cookies. Or did you commit to a workout schedule, only to skip a few sessions and finally give up altogether? Maybe that first date wasn’t quite what you expected, or you chose to stick with that familiar person who still doesn’t want to commit. You know what I’m talking about.

Failure and disappointment can cause us to lose our peace of mind and stay out of the game longer than we should. It then becomes more difficult to start again.

Maybe we need to be kinder to ourselves when it comes to our life goals, and appreciate the effort and progress we have already made. And when we do fall off-track, we need to consider what is underneath this action. Taking time to examine the ‘why’ can help us see the underlying cause. Sometimes it’s boredom, or old habits, fear of failure, or just that ‘little goblin’ in our head. It can also be fear of success and being seen – a new level, new devil.

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Learning To Say Yes To Yourself

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIt is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.

But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourselfSelf-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.

Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.

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The Powerful Gift Of Self-Compassion

Get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comEmpaths do not only have the capability to discern another person’ suffering or pain. We also have the gift of compassion – the ability, as well as the desire, to mitigate someone else’s pain, or alleviate it all together. The two abilities go hand in hand. I have yet to meet an empath who doesn’t express deep compassion and a sincere desire to mitigate pain and suffering. It’s a wonderful gift that the world could use a lot more of right now.

According to Emma Seppälä, a writer for the Harvard Business Review, compassion is a much better business management tactic than toughness. Research shows that the more compassionate response will get you more powerful results as a business manager.

Compassion inspires loyalty according to a study by Jonathan Haidt of New York University. Haidt found that the more employees looked up to their leaders, and were moved by their compassion or kindness (a state he called elevation), the more loyal they became to them. It follows then that responding with anger or frustration has the opposite effect.

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