happiness
The Importance Of Self-Investment
When I was younger, I thought of self-investment as ‘self-indulgence.’ However, as I grew spiritually, my guides made me aware that this was far from the case. In fact, I have learned that self-investment is a necessity – particularly in today’s world!
What can self-investment do for you? Well, it helps to calm your emotions and ground your energy. You feel more in control of your overall situation – whatever that may be.
It can also help prevent burnout by reducing stress, inducing a sense of calm, and minimizing anger, frustration, and depression, while boosting self-esteem! It may further help increase your sense of focus, aid concentration and thus help you deal with any current tasks.
Self-investment also helps you feel much more optimistic and increases your sense of happiness, thus attracting more of the good that the abundant universe has to offer you. It aids you in tapping into your higher self, connecting with the Divine, and utilizing your fullest potential in life.
Sounds great, right? But how does one go about implementing self-investment in a modern, busy life? Consider the following strategies:
Manage Your Time
Most people feel that they cannot self-invest as they never have the time to do so. However, why not draw up a timetable for your week and schedule some me-time? Taking time to do so will pay many dividends for your overall well-being, and what is more important than that?
Drawing up such a schedule will allow you to incorporate healthy habits, and it is the correct kind of habits when it comes to self-nurture that have the most impact. Schedule it: whether you like singing in the bath, cooking delicious healthy food, taking a brisk walk before bedtime, or planning for an early night!
Dating A Married Man
The subject of dating married men and being ‘the other women’ is something that for obvious reasons is seldom talked about. But I feel it might be healthy and necessary to discuss this more openly, as it is a much more complex issue than is often realized.
For example, many women who become involved with married men do not always know initially that he is married. In my experience, helping many female clients over the years in this predicament, many woman get into it by default after being misled by the man, only to find out later that he is married and has no plan of ever leaving his wife.
I could write a book on all the reasons why married men do not leave their wives. But instead, I think it is more important to focus on why so many women continue these affairs, once they find out he is married.
Now, you would think the empowered, modern woman of today would not put up with such a situation, but they do. I find these women are often so much in love and hopeful for what might be someday, that they convince themselves their situation is unique or different, and that he is unique or different. The truth is usually quite the opposite.
How to break free from this dead-end situationship? It can be challenging for sure, but certainly possible. I believe the key is self-love and self-worth. It requires the courage to step forward and say, “I deserve more.’
If you are caught up in a relationship with a married man, know that is seldom ends well for any of the parties involved. The chances that the outcome of your situation will be the exception to the rule is most unlikely. Stay true to your highest good and make the necessary changes for your future happiness.
Life Is In The Eyes Of The Beholder
What is the lens through which you view the world? When I close my eyes I see waterfalls, flowing streams, and flowers. This is the scenery surrounding me with my eyes open too. It tells me a story of life, of inner perception, and beauty.
The experience of life is what we make it, not because we are independently powerful controllers or causes of physical outcomes, but because we are eternally sentient beings with the gift of free will.
The spirit soul is a spark of consciousness, and we can express that consciousness through a variety of qualities. It is that inner flavor of our quality that then colors our experience and lens.
So, for example, when I see the water in the stream rolling around rocks and carving a curvy path through the land in front of me, I am reminded of a world that is gentle with feminine energy. She flows and nourishes and moves with consistent but soft determination.
I know that elsewhere there is also hard, jagged terrain and a state of mind that matches it. I can choose to match my mind to the beauty, diversity, and gentleness of spirit, or to the rigid harshness of a cold, hard, inert world of matter and might.
This choice presents itself at every step. Two people may suffer a similar loss in their lives, but process it completely differently. One might see it as an opportunity to grow and become more resilient, while the other might choose to feel angry and unfortunate. It depends on the lens through which we choose to view the world and our interactions with it.
Our circumstances also do not have to change for consciousness to change. When we change our inner consciousness and the lens through which we choose to view life, we change the experience.
Neglecting Your Own Needs Will Destroy Your Relationship
Some people are in really toxic relationships without realizing it. How do you know for sure if you are in a bad relationship? Well, often it is as simple as asking yourself a few basic questions.
Am I safe? Am I truly happy? Do I feel loved and supported? Are my most important needs being met? If you answer no to any of these, you may need to reassess your relationship.
Some people get caught in a dead-end relationship trap. They feel trapped and do not know how to get out of a bad situation. It can be very hard to leave someone you love. But sometimes that is what me must do in order to love ourselves.
A leading cause of failing relationships is often a lack of open, honest communication about our hopes, dreams, fears, and needs. It is very hard sometimes to bring up a subject that is uncomfortable, but remember that you deserve to be happy. It does not serve anyone to put your own needs last.
Self-worth also plays a major role. Do not put your own needs aside because you fear you cannot do better. Stay true to what is most important to you and ask for what you want!
If your current partner cannot meet your needs or refuses to respect your wishes, maybe your future does not align with theirs. Finding the right person is really what you need to do to be true to you and who you are.
Less Stress, More Meditation
We do our best to not be in a state of constant stress, toxic environments and unhealthy situations. We try so hard to keep our life in a state of contentment and happiness.
We intuitively know that if we keep our stress levels down, we sleep better and we think more clearly. Being in a state of zen is our original state.
When we are at peace, we are more able to hear that inner voice telling us what to do, and not do. It is what I call our inner GPS. We can hear it much more clearly when I we are centered and grounded, and not stressing.
I have found that only through meditation can I fully achieve this state of ‘less stress’ in my life. Of course, we can never eliminate stress completely, but meditation does empower me to achieve that state of contentment more easily.
After many years of practice, I can even achieve this within a few moments by simply focusing on my breath. But it is best when I take a good 30 minutes to go through my meditative steps. This includes breathwork and visualizing my body relaxing from my toes to top of my head.
During my destressing meditation I also take some time to send out love, light and peace to everyone that I know and love, including those who I don’t necessarily like very much. I also visualize the things I want to manifest in my life.
Keeping Score In A Relationship
I believe the habit of keeping a ‘score card’ might start in someone’s childhood. It is based on developing a certain sense of duty and responsibility early on. For example, as kids I remember my sister and I had to take turns doing the dishes. My sister would always keep tabs on that chore. She always knew whose turn it was next. My sister is four years older than me, and to this day she still keeps score on almost everything in her life.
This also set the precedent for me with friends and other family members. Others keeping score just seems natural to me, so I never feel the need to do so myself.
This did not server me well in all aspects of my young adult life. For example, in relationships it always felt like I was the one trying to make things work. It did not make any difference to me who called who last. Therefore, I ended up doing most of the calling. But does it truly matter that much?
What has the other person done for me? After all I have done and given so much! What do I get out of this relationship? These are the questions score keepers are always asking themselves.
But in my view, a relationship is never 50/50, even if both people are truly happy and fulfilled. One will always be doing less or more. But it does not matter, as true love is supposed to be unconditional.
So, if you are keeping a score card things will never balance and the emotion that will come up is anger, rebellion, defensiveness, or a complete shut-down. That does not serve any relationship in the long run.
Never Switch Your Vibration For Toxic, Negative People
Recently I was invited out for coffee by one of my very good friends. This lady is sweet, gentle, and extremely accepting of others. When we arrived at the coffee shop, she introduced me to another friend. I was very happy to make the acquaintance, as meeting new people is always a rather thrilling experience for me. I find it opens up a world of new ideas, opinions, and information.
Now, generally, I tend to operate in a gentle, fluid vibration, which is usually ideal, as it removes all anxiety or any kind of inner turmoil. But, suprisingly, meeting this lady my energy instantly switched to a harsh, resistant vibration, which is very much out of my character.
I could actually feel my body physically reacting to her presence. Since I was immediately aware of the change in the ‘vibes,’ I tried my best to establish a calmer and more accepting manner with this person and was temporarily at least somewhat successful in going back to my normally centered, grounded state. Our conversation were not exactly harmonious, but things did proceed in a slightly more friendly fashion.
During our chit chat, she discovered that I go bike riding every morning for a couple of hours. I live in a very small city, so it is no problem for 1me to hop on my bicycle and head out into the countryside, for what is usually the most enjoyable part of my day.
The route I normally take goes through a lovely area of farmland, where of course there are at times many dogs running about. Most farmers here do not restrain their animals, but it has never caused me any major problems. I love animals and actually enjoy seeing them.