choices
Keeping The Family Out Of Your Love Life
Family and our relatives have a huge impact on our romantic lives, whether we realize it or not. We bring so much from the way we were raised into our love relationships and marriages.
But having had a difficult childhood does not necessarily set us up for challenges and failure in our relationships. In fact, for those who are self-aware it can be an advantage of choosing not to bring the toxic drama of your childhood home into a current relationship.
For example, if you saw your father treat your mother without respect, you might set your mind to never allowing that happen in your own relationship. This kind of courage and personal responsibility can break the cycle.
We all have things that happen in childhood things that happen that are out of our control, it is all in how you deal with them that forms us as adults. We have a choice always.
The other aspect is culture and the values and customs with which we were raised. Depending on the circumstances it can have a significant impact on our relationships. Once again it is a choice how we want to handle it. Do we follow the family traditions, or not?
It takes courage and an open mind to march to your own drum. Standing up for what you believe can also go a long way. Sometimes this is vital to ensure a healthy, happy relationship that will last.
Of course, the biggest challenge for most couples is having the family up in your relationship business. Do your relatives influence your decisions and interfere in your relationship? Navigating a relationship or marriage successfully in this day and age is challenging enough.
Successful Relationships Begin With Self-Love
How do you ensure your relationship will work long-term? Many callers ask me this question almost every day. In my experience, there needs to be a balance of love, caring, respect and truth for any relationship to last. If you do not have these components in a relationship, more than likely it will not work out. If a relationship is out of balance, then it usually is too one-sided and not serving your highest good.
The key first step is to love and respect yourself, because when you love and respect yourself, you will also receive more love and respect from others. There is not much of a future for any relationship that is based on the self-sacrifice of one party. It never lasts and typically does not end well. Balance is required in matters of the heart.
Along with the respect you deserve in the way you are treated. it is loving, caring, and respectful? This is applicable to everyone in your life, including romantic partners, friends, co-workers, family, and relatives.
Respect is not only something we must demand, but we must also set boundaries for it in our daily life. When a boundary is repeatedly disregarded or violated by someone in your life, then something needs to change. This is when you have to say, enough.
Sometimes the hard decisions need to be made. If someone is not respecting you in your relationship, treating you poorly, and not meeting your most essential wants and needs, then it is time to make a change. Respect yourself enough to end it.
Too many people do not believe they deserve love and respect, for various reasons. The problem often begins in childhood. It is important to realize you do and to start loving yourself a little more – not in an egotistical way, but in a way that you love and respect yourself enough to want only the best for you and to no longer settle for anything less.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
Take Some Time Out To Embrace The Silence
I see now, more than ever before, parents busying their children with this and that sport, and this and that activity. I sometimes wonder if they ever have time to just be children.
I see how fast time flies these days and I think we actually make it go by even faster by overloading our lives with so much activity. We over commit ourselves way too much. I have been carefully watching my world lately, and I have seen the busy lifestyles of my friends and family. I see how frantic everyone has become. Such a commotion!
I find it disturbing how we over-busy ourselves and our children, and our lives. We really miss out on what I deem as the ‘finer things’. We need to get that connection back. It’s never too late.
We need to take it down a notch. I understand there are things we have to do – go to work, pay the bills, chores to do, people to see. Sure, I get it! But there are those additional things that we sign on to do when we really shouldn’t, or don’t have the time for, and when we do it has a domino effect. Chaos. Anxiety. Stress.
We need time to unwind more, and not just when we give ourselves six or less hours of sleep. We carve time out for our kids and for our friends and family, and often there is really no time left for a few blissful moments of silence. It’s in the silence that we can know ourselves and truly learn to live with a glass half full mentality.
We are filling our days with so much unnecessary activity these days just to keep up with the Joneses. What is wrong with staying home once in a while? I think staying at home is underrated. I don’t know about you, but home is where my yoga mat has its place and I don’t have to pay a gym membership to be active in my own home. It’s also where my library is, and my family, and most of the things I love and enjoy.
Energetic DNA
When I am reading for a client, and we are evaluating either a personal or a business relationship, I always ask for the first name of the individual or name of the business, as well as when the relationship began.
With this information I am able to see the client’s energy and then the separate, but very distinct energy, almost like a fingerprint, of the other people involved or attached to the client. The link becomes clear.
More importantly the strength of energetic pattern is revealed, and whether it is detrimental or constructive, supportive or invasive, positive or negative. I call this ‘energetic DNA.’
Positive energy left in our field enhances and strengthens us. It uplifts and encourages us, building our confidence, opening our minds and expanding our hearts. On the other hand negative energy does exactly the opposite.
When we are involved in any type of relationship, be it business or personal, family or friend, energetic DNA is always present. It is actively leaving a positive of negative mark on our energy field and can impact our daily lives in very powerful ways.
It’s extremely important to be aware of how the energetic DNA present in a relationship has affected us, or the future impact it may have. Love, family, money – these are all very important aspects of our lives. Who we bring into our hearts, our minds, or business can be the difference between happiness and heartbreak, peace or chaos, success or failure.
Integrity And Trust In Psychic Reading
We all are born with gifts and talents that are our responsibility to nurture and grow. Those gifts are given by the Divine to be shared with others, and to do our part in making this world we live in a better place.
Before I decided to join an online psychic network, I did a lot of research and then decided to apply to Psychic Access, because it was the most reputable. The negative feedback on some of the other sites, and the scams of spell work and other dubious practices, shocked me. Some sites actually encourage what I refer to as ‘baiting,’ which is sending emails telling people that ‘dark energy’ or an impending problem was coming and they should contact the reader immediately.
Some sites I explored also could have cared less if I had any mediumship or psychic ability; if I had a pulse and was breathing, I would have been hired to do psychic readings there. I was horrified and disgusted.
Wounded hearts can have many dark and tender places and my desire with the work I do is to be of service, to clarify, empower, encourage and inspire all who reach out to me and open their hearts and lives. My great grandmother taught me that with my psychic ability came tremendous responsibility. This is no game to me, no hobby, and I was not going to be associated with any website or company that encouraged such values or behavior.
Integrity is vital to me. I like to think of integrity as armor. We face many challenges, or battles if you will, in our day to day lives and the right armor in any battle is crucial. Chinks in our armor weaken us and can lead to ‘spiritual rust’. Chinks may appear in the form of dishonesty, revenge, resentment, lack of forgiveness, bitterness, judgment. The list goes on.
Renewed Inspiration Through Visualization
Despite the psychic readings we receive, the inspirational books we read, and the seminars we attend, we often tend to find ourselves back at the drawing board for inspiration. Why? I guess we need to inspire ourselves on an ongoing basis.
Clients who visit me for private consultations say they leave me feeling serene and all fired up to take on the world. Many of them also come back every now and again for what one high-powered lady calls her “fix”.
And me? Well, I need to inspire myself on a regular basis, in order to be of any help to anybody else!
Visualization is an excellent way to ‘recycle’ some past moments of inspiration. We can make time in our busy worlds and synthesize all the knowledge and experiences we have gathered, in order to visualize what we want.
By remembering and tapping into that feeling we had when we saw that moving film, attended that life-changing workshop or read that inspirational book, we can apply that intense feeling from a previous experience to what we want to manifest now.
An attitude of gratitude goes a long way too when it comes to manifesting our desires. Thank spirit for all the positives in your life, and you will be surprised to notice the amount you have already manifested and have to be grateful for.
Another helpful technique is to make a visualization board by drawing pictures from your memories, or from magazines, to make a collage which will be your personal vision board. Place it where you spend most of your time. I was given a ‘recipe’ for creating long ago by a colleague.
Ingredients
1. Recognize the higher self (that you are spirit)
2. Decisiveness
3. Acoustics
4. Imagination and creativity
5. Evaluation
6. Approval
7. Experience
Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible ~ Cherie Carter-Scott
Method
1. Recognize that you are spirit and therefore have the capacity to create.
2. Be certain of exactly what you wish to create. Think of how it is going to affect you.
3. Announce it verbally.
4. Visualize it.
5. Decide whether you are pleased with it.
6. Give consent for it to materialize.
7. Step back and admire and enjoy what you have created.
Note: Be sure not to create anything which creates imbalance in your life.