choices
The Karmic Lessons Of Soulmate Relationships
What really happens when we meet someone whom we instantly feel a deep connection with? There is an intense ‘spark,’ or the other person somehow feels very familiar as if we have always known them. We just feel very drawn to them, or it feels like it is ‘meant to be.’ But is it truly fate or destiny, or is it just free will?
Well, it is both. Such a person usually comes into our life bearing the gift of a karmic lesson! This is related to fate, and soul contracts. Certain people are ‘fated’ to come into our lives, but whether we choose to let them walk beside us, and in what capacity, is almost always ruled by free will and influenced by which lessons we are currently working on integrating. With these people we typically share what is known as a soul contract or soul agreement, and often they are part of our soul family or soul group.
So, it is indeed ‘meant to be’ with these people…but, with a big but. We must be very careful what we wish for and remember that we also have free will, as do they. Just because something is ‘fated’ or ‘meant to be,’ doesn’t mean it’s something either of you want.
While the idea of us having a predetermined fate or predestined life path can seem like a comforting, convenient and safe concept, ‘meant to be’ does not always equate to ‘easy,’ ‘fun,’ or ‘pleasant.’ It is about the experiences we signed up for in coming here, and some of us have chosen some very challenging karmic lessons for this lifetime. Beware, karmic lessons are often difficult and really challenging!
What we learn from these people can transform our lives and boost our soul growth in profound ways, but just because something is destined or ‘meant to be,’ doesn’t mean it will necessarily be a pleasant or easy experience.
Karmic Fate Versus Free Will Manifestation
We often say things are ‘meant to be,’ or it was ‘fated’ and therefore out of our hands entirely. But is this really true? How much of what happens in our life is pure luck, chance, or predestined fate? How much of our destiny do we actually control?
Many people also believe that we are able to manifest whatever we want. But how is this even possible if there is such a thing as fate? If predestination or divine will rules part, or even most of our life, then surely there must be limitations or restrictions to what we can manifest?
Well, not exactly. There is fate, but there is also free will.
It is my understanding that fate is related to our karmic life lessons, while free will is our capacity to make choices and manifest aspects of our life as we desire. Many people do this unconsciously most of the time. However, as much as we have free will, the karmic lessons we have to learn are still woven into our life choices and integrated with our manifestations.
So, some aspects of our lives are indeed fated certainties. For example, experiencing certain major life events or traumas. These immutable, unchangeable events or outcomes are related to the karmic lessons we have selected to work through in this lifetime.
If a chosen karmic lesson is, for example, is tied to the experience of infertility it may be ‘fated’ that the person who chose this path will not be able to have children of their own in this lifetime, or will at least struggle to do so. This is an example of how a karmic lesson can limit or restrict manifestation. But, while it may preclude the experience of parenthood in this lifetime, it does not block the potential manifestation of parenting experiences – there are other options open to becoming a parent, such as adoption, fostering, or a blended family.
In One Ear, And Out the Other
We have all had a frustrating conversation with someone that was just not listening at all. I call it ‘the lights are on, but nobody is home’ conversations. In my opinion the world would be a better place if we all communicate more clearly, sincerely, and kindly.
I have one friend with whom it is very easy to tell that she has checked out of a conversation. She gets that blank look in her eyes, vaguely staring into the distance, drifting off into her own thoughts. Then it becomes utterly pointless to continue the conversation with her, as I might as well be talking to myself.
One sure way to tell if a person has checked out of the conversation is when they keep checking their phone. How rude is that? What could possible be on that phone screen that is so much more important than a heartfelt, meaningful conversation with a friend?
During the pandemic, I did not see one of my best friends for more than two years. When we finally met up after all this time, she spent most of our time together checking her phone messages and scrolling her social media feeds. I guess I missed her company more, than she did mine.
Of course, we all ‘space out’ in conversation sometimes, but if it happens constantly then it may be time to find out why? One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is when people feel they are not being heard. Clear communication, sincere interest, and active listening are vital ingredients in a caring, supportive relationship.
Another important aspect in any conversation is our tone of voice. It is often not what we say, but how say it that matters most. It is always amazing to me when I hear someone talk to strangers in a manner and tone of voice that is much kinder and more sincere, than the tone they use with the people closest to them.
The Magic Of Living Your Truth
Where does magic come from? And, if we’re magical, can we lose our magic? We’re all born magical creatures. We also have integrity right from the moment we take our first breath. You may ask, what does integrity have to do with magic? Well, everything!
However, immediately upon emerging from the birth canal, mainstream society starts imprinting upon us its cultural view points, customs and traditions. Often, they become a kind of law that has been adopted over many generations, even entire epochs in our evolution as human beings, and due to ‘group think‘ we are discouraged from questioning their origin, much less their validity.
Group think happens when the desire for harmony or conformity dominates, leading to irrational and dysfunctional choices, decisions and behaviours simply for the sake of comforming.
An example that comes to mind is the statement that we have probably all used at one time or another: “Oh, I’ll just follow the rule of thumb.” However, we would never make such a statement if we were aware of its origins: this was what men used to say when they were using a stick to punish their wife! By law, the instrument for abuse could only be as big around as the husband’s thumb.
Another senseless tradition that comes to mind is why men wear neck ties. Before the advent of computers enabled us to Google our curiosities, I often thought about how glad I am to be a woman, if for no other reason than I don’t have to wear a necktie. Now, I have to admit that I’m “over the top” regarding many time-tested, and supposedly true forms of bondage. I don’t even like to wear shoes that make my feet feel closed in, so imagine my feelings about effectively placing a noose around my neck. Ay, ay, no way!
Start Your Lifetime Of Happiness Today
What does it take to be truly happy? This seemingly simple question is one of the most difficult to answer. As a psychic advisor who has been relaying guidance from spirit for over wo decades, I have come to understand that happiness is determined by several factors. Spirit has repeatedly shown me over the years that true happiness is a holistic thriving of the mind, body, and soul. It is also a unique state of being for every person.
Sometimes people are also more, or less happy than they might realize. And in my experience reading for people all over the world, many folks also have no idea what would truly make them happy. Have you ever asked yourself what makes you happy, or will make you happy? It certainly is not fame and fortune…that much I do know.
In the many relationship and career readings I do, I also find some of my clients tend to put their own needs aside to take care of others. They prioritize other people’s happiness, instead of their own. This is at times very kind and noble, but spirit says it is always important to remember that you matter most in your life, because if you are not happy…you can also not offer others very much for very long.
Too many people give, and give, and compromise, and sacrifice, yet never get much, if anything, in return. Which in turn leaves them feeling empty and miserable to the extent that they are no longer able to be there for themselves, nor anyone else. Taking care of yourself first is not a luxury, but a necessity…and a spiritual duty.
Ask yourself today: Am I happy? If the answer is ‘no’ or ‘not sure’ then ask yourself why? What seems missing? Which of your needs are not being met? When was the last time you felt content or fulfilled, and why? Carefully consider what changes you can make in your life to fill in your happiness gap. This might seem silly or simplistic, but do give it some thought…you might just surprise yourself.
Hold On To Your Inner Peace
One must never allow anyone or anything to steal your peace. However, while it may be easy to agree to this motto in principle, it is not always so simple to implement it. What does it really mean to deeply feel one’s peace and fully exercise your freedom to shield and protect it?
There are so many ways that our peace can be ‘stolen.’ Some causes are external, or appear to be, when outward events and behaviors of others disrupt our peace. But the real steal always happens within. And it only happens when you surrender it to the situation or allow others to take to from you.
It does not matter what the external situation is, or what the words and actions of others may be, giving away or handing over your peace rests solely in your own heart, mind, and personal choices. So, does protecting your peace.
The soul is by nature peaceful. Identifying yourself as the eternal soul or spirit, not the temporary body or mind, anchors you in that peace. When something unsettling in this world arises, reminding yourself who you truly are spiritually will help you reconnect with your inherent state of inner peace.
Our spiritual sense of self-identity can further be strengthened by our daily spiritual practice and by studying the characteristics of the eternal soul. In the Hindu scripture Bhagavad Gita, for example, Krishna describes the soul as indestructible, imperishable, and immeasurable. It is unborn, ever-existing, immutable, unchanging, and everlasting.
Furthermore, the Bhagavad Gita identifies the soul as an infinitesimal spark of energy emanating from the infinite Supreme Person, who is the source of all material and spiritual worlds. Different energies of this Supreme Divine Being are detailed in different categories as internal, external, and marginal. Continue reading
The Blessing Of True Friendship
Too often we make a self-limiting choices in life based on negative past experiences, which then keeps you from enjoying new, wonderful experiences, meeting new people, or learning a new talent or skill. To truly be free we must allow ourselves to let go and just be. We must remain willing to live an authentic life and selectively make ourselves vulnerable. Replaying the past over and over in your mind is draining and counter-productive.
I normally don’t open myself up easily to new friendships. I work with people all day, so that is how I get much of my social interaction. I love to help people and my clients are pretty much my family. I feel very connected to my regular callers, as they tend to be the most open-hearted and like-minded people. In my personal life I haven’t been so lucky, as many people are just not open to the alternative ideas, lifestyles and beliefs. In fact, some people are completely closed-off and narrow-minded about the mystical and the metaphysical.
I am not alone in this. A 2019 study, for example, revealed that the average American hasn’t made a new friend in five years. The study also found that he average american has three best friend and five reasonably good friends, as well as about eight people they like but do not spend any time with. However, this does not automatically guarantee that these people we consider to be our friends always feel the same way about us. A 2016 study found that this is probably only true for about half of friendships. Yes, only 50 percent of our perceived friendships are actually mutual and reciprocal!
Recently, I took a chance on a new friendship outside my work life, and I am very blessed to say that it reminded me that it’s okay to let the walls down so sometimes, and not to worry about stepping on toes or feeling like you have to walk on egg shells. I guess we just need to be smart about our choices. I have always been drawn to calm, centered, casual people who have a good sense of humor.