choices
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
Take Some Time Out To Embrace The Silence
I see now, more than ever before, parents busying their children with this and that sport, and this and that activity. I sometimes wonder if they ever have time to just be children.
I see how fast time flies these days and I think we actually make it go by even faster by overloading our lives with so much activity. We over commit ourselves way too much. I have been carefully watching my world lately, and I have seen the busy lifestyles of my friends and family. I see how frantic everyone has become. Such a commotion!
I find it disturbing how we over-busy ourselves and our children, and our lives. We really miss out on what I deem as the ‘finer things’. We need to get that connection back. It’s never too late.
We need to take it down a notch. I understand there are things we have to do – go to work, pay the bills, chores to do, people to see. Sure, I get it! But there are those additional things that we sign on to do when we really shouldn’t, or don’t have the time for, and when we do it has a domino effect. Chaos. Anxiety. Stress.
We need time to unwind more, and not just when we give ourselves six or less hours of sleep. We carve time out for our kids and for our friends and family, and often there is really no time left for a few blissful moments of silence. It’s in the silence that we can know ourselves and truly learn to live with a glass half full mentality.
We are filling our days with so much unnecessary activity these days just to keep up with the Joneses. What is wrong with staying home once in a while? I think staying at home is underrated. I don’t know about you, but home is where my yoga mat has its place and I don’t have to pay a gym membership to be active in my own home. It’s also where my library is, and my family, and most of the things I love and enjoy.
Energetic DNA
When I am reading for a client, and we are evaluating either a personal or a business relationship, I always ask for the first name of the individual or name of the business, as well as when the relationship began.
With this information I am able to see the client’s energy and then the separate, but very distinct energy, almost like a fingerprint, of the other people involved or attached to the client. The link becomes clear.
More importantly the strength of energetic pattern is revealed, and whether it is detrimental or constructive, supportive or invasive, positive or negative. I call this ‘energetic DNA.’
Positive energy left in our field enhances and strengthens us. It uplifts and encourages us, building our confidence, opening our minds and expanding our hearts. On the other hand negative energy does exactly the opposite.
When we are involved in any type of relationship, be it business or personal, family or friend, energetic DNA is always present. It is actively leaving a positive of negative mark on our energy field and can impact our daily lives in very powerful ways.
It’s extremely important to be aware of how the energetic DNA present in a relationship has affected us, or the future impact it may have. Love, family, money – these are all very important aspects of our lives. Who we bring into our hearts, our minds, or business can be the difference between happiness and heartbreak, peace or chaos, success or failure.
Integrity And Trust In Psychic Reading
We all are born with gifts and talents that are our responsibility to nurture and grow. Those gifts are given by the Divine to be shared with others, and to do our part in making this world we live in a better place.
Before I decided to join an online psychic network, I did a lot of research and then decided to apply to Psychic Access, because it was the most reputable. The negative feedback on some of the other sites, and the scams of spell work and other dubious practices, shocked me. Some sites actually encourage what I refer to as ‘baiting,’ which is sending emails telling people that ‘dark energy’ or an impending problem was coming and they should contact the reader immediately.
Some sites I explored also could have cared less if I had any mediumship or psychic ability; if I had a pulse and was breathing, I would have been hired to do psychic readings there. I was horrified and disgusted.
Wounded hearts can have many dark and tender places and my desire with the work I do is to be of service, to clarify, empower, encourage and inspire all who reach out to me and open their hearts and lives. My great grandmother taught me that with my psychic ability came tremendous responsibility. This is no game to me, no hobby, and I was not going to be associated with any website or company that encouraged such values or behavior.
Integrity is vital to me. I like to think of integrity as armor. We face many challenges, or battles if you will, in our day to day lives and the right armor in any battle is crucial. Chinks in our armor weaken us and can lead to ‘spiritual rust’. Chinks may appear in the form of dishonesty, revenge, resentment, lack of forgiveness, bitterness, judgment. The list goes on.
Renewed Inspiration Through Visualization
Despite the psychic readings we receive, the inspirational books we read, and the seminars we attend, we often tend to find ourselves back at the drawing board for inspiration. Why? I guess we need to inspire ourselves on an ongoing basis.
Clients who visit me for private consultations say they leave me feeling serene and all fired up to take on the world. Many of them also come back every now and again for what one high-powered lady calls her “fix”.
And me? Well, I need to inspire myself on a regular basis, in order to be of any help to anybody else!
Visualization is an excellent way to ‘recycle’ some past moments of inspiration. We can make time in our busy worlds and synthesize all the knowledge and experiences we have gathered, in order to visualize what we want.
By remembering and tapping into that feeling we had when we saw that moving film, attended that life-changing workshop or read that inspirational book, we can apply that intense feeling from a previous experience to what we want to manifest now.
An attitude of gratitude goes a long way too when it comes to manifesting our desires. Thank spirit for all the positives in your life, and you will be surprised to notice the amount you have already manifested and have to be grateful for.
Another helpful technique is to make a visualization board by drawing pictures from your memories, or from magazines, to make a collage which will be your personal vision board. Place it where you spend most of your time. I was given a ‘recipe’ for creating long ago by a colleague.
Ingredients
1. Recognize the higher self (that you are spirit)
2. Decisiveness
3. Acoustics
4. Imagination and creativity
5. Evaluation
6. Approval
7. Experience
Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible ~ Cherie Carter-Scott
Method
1. Recognize that you are spirit and therefore have the capacity to create.
2. Be certain of exactly what you wish to create. Think of how it is going to affect you.
3. Announce it verbally.
4. Visualize it.
5. Decide whether you are pleased with it.
6. Give consent for it to materialize.
7. Step back and admire and enjoy what you have created.
Note: Be sure not to create anything which creates imbalance in your life.
Just Existing, Not Living?
Do you ever feel like you’re existing and not actually living? Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I think at some point in our lives we all do, especially after everything we have endured over the past two years.
In these difficult times, we worry about our health and safety, money, career paths and choices, the perfect house, the perfect partner or spouse.
Our children. Have we raised them right? Or, have we spoiled them? If you don’t know yet…two year olds grow up and teenagers grow out of it!
All of the above are legitimate concerns. But at some point we need to remember to worry only about the things we can control.
Stop focusing so much time and energy on the things you cannot control. All it brings us are toxic thought patterns, an anxious heart and a restless soul. Once we have learned to give all of that up, life seems a tiny bit easier.
There is a famous saying: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” How very true. You can fixate on all the frustrations, promise yourself that you’ll do this and that, or feel better once you get to wherever – but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. Because it’s easier to think about what you’d rather do, than to just going out and doing it.
The Ripple Effect Of Kindness
Although I am usually very careful with online transactions, I received a notification yesterday of two unknown online purchases for the same amount, but from separate companies, both debited to my credit card without my knowledge.
It´s been a few years since I have been scammed in this way, so when I began investigating the matter it soon became obvious that online fraud has become rife in recent years. It’s much more complicated and frustrating to sort this out with vendors and the bank than it used to be. It was certainly a lesson for me to be more careful in future.
However, an unexpected blessing came from the mishap, as it often does. At the end of the first phone call I made to report the issue, the call center agent who assisted me thanked me for “being so nice to him.” When I asked him what he meant, he said my voice had soothed him and that he consequently felt a great sense of calm. He explained that people usually begin these call by yelling at him, as if he is somehow to blame.
“Well, it´s hardly your fault,” I said.
He continued by saying that customers are usually very angry and upset. Although he is trained to handle such calls, and understand the frustration of the callers, one never really get used to the feeling of being attacked and insulted – simply for doing your job.
I felt blessed after our interaction to know that I had impacted someone´s day positively. It reminded me that our words and actions really can make or break someone´s day.
It reminded me of the time when I used to work for an airline, many years ago. Our service training was heavily focused on customer care, particularly as this particular airline didn´t have a great reputation for punctuality or customer service in those days. Management was making a concerted effort to rectify their bad reputation.