Love & Relationships
Crossing Over Into Unconditional Love
Is my mom okay? Is my dad still in pain? Is my friend trying to speak to me? Is my grandmother proud or ashamed of me? Does my husband forgive me?
These are just a few of the many questions that I am asked by bereaved family members and friend, when they lose someone dear to them.
Firstly, it is important to understand that we are all spirit with a temporary physical body. And we have free will in how we choose to live our lives. Some of us choose to be kind and giving, while some are abusive and filled with anger. It is not our place to judge each other, simply to know that free will was a gift given to us before we came into this current physical body.
When I am asked these questions, the initial part of the answer is always going to be the same. The person that you lost simply left their physical body behind; their spirit never faltered.
When someone crosses over, no matter who, or how, the moment of crossing is always met with pure love. Their angel reaches out a hand and when they touch the light shows them that there is nothing to be afraid of.
They instantly know that the place where they are returning to is a place of light and harmony. It is a place of pure, unconditional love. Hate disappears, hurt or pain disappears. There is no shame, not disrespect. And there is only unconditional love for those that remain here on earth waiting for our turn to join them.
The Powerful Bond Of A First Love Connection
I think we can really feel the intensity of true love the most when we are young and experience falling in love for the first time. The feeling is so strong and all encompassing.
When love takes over everything in the world just feels so much better. The grass is greener and everything is perfect and good, in a way that words simply cannot express. If you fall madly in love with someone, and you are really lucky and get to have and hold that love, it is even more profound and deep-seated.
I was fortunate to experience this once. It happened while I was working as a bagger at a local grocery store. I stood up, after stocking the paper bags, and suddenly locked eyes with a wonderful soul. He obviously felt the same way, because he returned with his phone number that he had written on a small piece of paper for me.
We had a wonderful romantic relationship for nearly four years. He ended up finishing medical school several states South from where we initially met. Despite my fear of flying, I did fly down to see him once. I also took my Tarot cards and did a few readings for him. The ‘Death’ card kept popping up, but I kept reassuring him that it usually means ‘transition’, and not to worry, no one is going to die.
He came home for a family visit a few months later. I was sitting at his parents’ pool in the back yard, where he grew up. I suddenly sensed something terrible. I had this overwhelming and ominous premonition that someone in his family was going to die. Being so connected to him, I felt that it wouldn’t be him, but his brother. I felt very strongly about this. Seeing him playing his guitar, so alive and happy, I could not begin to imagine losing him.
Understanding How Men Fall In Love: Mind, Body & Soul
What makes a man fall in love head-over-heels? When does a guy go from casual interest, to “I want you in my life.” Maybe it’s timing. Maybe he’s been waiting for someone like you. Or maybe you’re way ahead of him.
But from what I’ve seen in thousands of psychic readings over the years, what really flips that switch is chemistry and connection. The way you look into his eyes. The way you listen to him like he’s the only person in the room. How you make him feel, and that sense that, in his arms, you belong.
It is not true that most men are obsessed with looks only. While an attractive appearance certainly helps to get things off the ground initially, this is not what men stick around for in the long term.
Some men are drawn to personality. Some to your kindness and tolerance towards others. Some are drawn to the way you think. Some to the scent of you. Some to that feeling that life without you would be boring. Sound familiar? Yes, the truth is, men and women want a lot of the same things: feeling important, wanted, accepted, appreciated.
A man will bond with you when he feels he can make you happy. When he knows you accept him fully. When he feels seen. Even the parts he hides! Because when he knows that, he gives himself to you: heart, mind, and soul.
There’s another myth that men like sassy women who “play hard to get,” as so often portrayed in Hollywood romcoms. That’s not it at all. What he does like is a woman who is secure in herself, who laughs easily, who keeps her own life going, who has her stuff together (not perfect, just real). And yes, attractive to him. But more than looks…she has backbone, presence, a rhythm of life.
Are You Desperately Seeking Your Soulmate?
As a psychic reader, I often deal with questions about love and relationships. Many clients ask about meeting their soulmate, twin flame, or special life partner.
A dear client once told me how desperate she was to find her soulmate. She said she wouldn’t be happy until she met him, as she believed he would complete her.
But Spirit did not respond with a simplistic prediction or quick fix. The message was clear and direct: she would never find a man to complete her. Instead, she would have to find happiness and fulfillment from within. Only after she accomplished this would she be able to find lasting happiness in a relationship.
I gave her some things she could do to help her and I was later thrilled to get an email from her telling me how thankful she was. She was looking to all the wrong things and people to give her the happiness she so desired.
She then asked me the right question and I was so happy she remembered! How could she connect with her true beloved?
I remote viewed and explained where I saw him and felt it was someone from her past and how she could find him by simply not looking, and we discussed many different things about this person.
She never realized it, until I finally mentioned to her, that this was her best friend that she had been in touch with for many years. They had had their ups and downs, but as I explained, even the best of marriages are like roller-coaster rides. It is not the easy connections that we gain the greatest amount of soul growth from. Instead, the relationships that aren’t easy are the ones that you become wiser from and gain the most wisdom from.
The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’
I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.
He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.
After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.
The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?
Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?
Spiritual Strategies For A Loving Relationship
Over the years I have worked with many clients who either want to improve an existing relationship or manifest a new relationship.
In my readings, I have seen that most of us carry patterns, energy blocks, or emotional knots that quietly affect our love lives. Many people describe the same inner cycle: a longing for deeper connection followed by fear, self-doubt, and frustration.
Depending on the needs to the particular individual or couple, I often recommend a few simple yet powerful practices that can shift the romantic energy field and open the heart.
These practices are gentle and effective, working not just on the emotional level but on the spiritual and energetic levels as well. They help clients reconnect with their inner wisdom and realign with love.
We tend to overthink our love lives. We analyze our relationships from every angle, hoping to find the answers in logic.
But love is not a puzzle to be solved. It is a frequency to be attuned to. And when we work with spiritual tools, we allow ourselves to rise above the clutter of thought and enter a state of clarity and openness.
I have found that the following practices, when done consistently, create a soft and supportive foundation for emotional healing and soulful connection. They do not require dramatic effort or complex rituals. They are simple shifts in intention and awareness that can lead to powerful outcomes.
False Education Appearing Real (F.E.A.R)
I love the acronym F.E.A.R. (False Education Appearing Real) since we all have people, circumstances, phobias and so forth, that can put us into that space.
Fear is an instance of emotion that is triggered by the awareness, or anticipation of danger. It can also become a state of being. Excluding clinical fears, needing professional help, there are many fears we simply impose upon ourselves as a result of life experiences.
One of my fears is acrophobia, the fear of heights. When I get within five feet from the edge of a rooftop, I begin to shake.
Climbing 30 foot ladders has me nervous and when I hiked to the pinnacle of the mountain of Macchu Picchu in 2004, I could not take those last six nervous steps onto the plateau pinnacle rock. This was partly being due to a few other tourists already sharing the rock… and I am a little “accident prone.”
Although I was invited by my partner and the guide, I leaned against the rock debating my fear, shaking a little at the prospect and wishing that I could take those final steps, as I might regret it after I hiked down. Part of me did regret not taking those last steps when we got back to the base.
Yet, a bigger part of me knew I had to acknowledge the feelings in the moment, and since I am not a regular exerciser, I already had accomplished something tremendous by taking the hike to the top and back down the back side of the mountain. On the way I enjoyed the magnificent views and spiritual energy for several hours. Continue reading