Love & Relationships
Becoming Your Best Self
Know that Spirit is always beckoning you to become your best self. Stay open for the positive to emerge and, with open arms, joyously welcome the blessings of health and wellness, inner peace and wisdom, blissful love, streams of prosperity, and all that your heart desires.
Make a huge effort to quiet the chatter in your world and listen to your inner voice. This may mean muting your television, or not checking in with social media as often. Your quiet time might also manifest through long walks in nature, or soaking in a tub of warm water scented with your favorite essential oils and surrounded by candlelight.
However you choose to silence the outside world and tune in to the sacred realm, trust that your experience will be golden as Spirit will be guiding you to become your best self ever.
Know that you have the gift and ability to visualize and actualize the life you are seeking. See your life as you would love it to be, and ask Spirit to help you define your very best self. Often we set the bar far too low for our best selves. In this manner we cheat ourselves and miss out on fulfilling the divine purpose of our lives.
‘Handling’ People
When people ‘handle’ me, it makes my skin crawl, literally. Why do people feel the need to ‘handle’ others? What is the difference between say being diplomatic with someone, being professional, or having boundaries, all of which are healthy behaviors, compared to ‘handling’ someone? The simple answer is energy.
Handling someone means you are a closed book, you have an agenda with a person and you want to accomplish that agenda, whether it is to get something from the person or to make that person go away (without you simply setting a boundary or being honest).
People who ‘handle’ others often do not know that is what they are doing; it is their unconscious ‘go-to’ behavior, their norm. Some ways of discovering if you are handling versus relating to someone, is to look at your other choices.
You may not realize that addicts always need handling. So, if you are an addict (of any kind — drugs, alcohol, sugar, sex, anything you feel compelled to do in excess), or if you tend to date, marry or make friends with addicts of any sort, you are more than likely someone who ‘handles’ others, as well as yourself. A handler type person will choose addicts often without realizing or admitting to themselves that they are an addict, because addicts do in fact need to be ‘handled’ until they come out of denial and start to participate in their recovery.
Dealing With Dysfunctional Family Dynamics
Family dynamics can be tremendously complex. These relationships are multi-layered and may have played out for ages. Next to love relationship, and then business, family relationships are at the top of the list for many of my clients.
For many family is a love-hate scenario, which can be particularly challenging. It is said we cannot choose our family, but we can choose how and when, or if, we interact with them. However, severing family ties is a big step and not one taken lightly. By the time this happens the drama, or abuse has been ongoing for years – many times beginning in childhood. A childhood that in spite the passage of time is as fresh and painful as it was when it occurred. If money and or control are woven into the mix, the matter doubles in complexity.
It’s an unfortunate truth that many of the people that I speak with, especially empaths, intuitives and highly sensitive people, have family histories that are rife with conflict, and often also abuse. They often share a feeling of not belonging, being singled out, or being the scapegoat of the family. The suffering is long-term and tragic, with the scars running deep.
When A Relationship Ends
Many requests for readings that I receive are about relationships, and a good percentage of those are about past relationships that just seem to keep hanging on in callers’ minds and dreams. There are often constant thoughts about the person, a longing for a second chance, or bitterness and remorse for time that now seems wasted.
The longer and more intense the relationship, the more battle scars and wounds exist. If it was a soulmate or twin flame connection, the aftermath can be gutting. The relationship has ended and the connection has been severed in this life. This time can be acutely painful. You know that you gave it everything. You hung in there for years, or you went to heroic lengths to ensure the survival of the relationship, but you fell short.
I am frequently asked, “Is it really over?” Of course, the answer depends on the particular circumstances and this is where a reading with a trusted psychic advisor can be very helpful. It can bring clarity, comfort and assurances about choices and decisions made along the way.
When True Beauty Shines Through
I was speaking recently with a friend who prefers to hide from the world. In his words, “I want people to remember me the way I used to look, instead of how I look now.” I couldn’t help but lower my head in that moment. I adore this man in every way. His looks mean nothing to me, for I have seen his heart. To me he is extremely handsome. I wish he felt the same way about himself.
I have thought the same about myself, many times over the years, but not so much anymore. I take pride in my appearance, but I have also come to understand that my looks are not the ‘sum of my parts.’
We live in a very superficial world, where we are made to believe by almost every media and marketing message out there, that as long as you are beautiful or handsome, the world is your oyster. There also doesn’t seem to be any getting away from it. I recall in my own youth flipping through magazines to look at the ‘beautiful people,’ and thinking to myself, their lives must be perfect. Of course, today I know that nothing could be further from the truth.
A Gracious New Year
For the New Year my only desire is a complex, furtive, all encompassing desire that includes my dearest and nearest, and my farthest.
For one, I have concluded the preliminary work on a project for cataloguing wildlife and their emotional intent, which took two years, and which was an incredible life experience. I learned about their sense of fairness and how well they look after each other, even on an inter-species level. They are beautiful people too.
This work put me out into the field, so to say, and made me study empathy and telepathy more, and I have to state, I dislike brazen telepathy between strangers without consent. I dislike large groups using energies to talk, as opposed to plain conversation, but this is due to me knowing them well in my city – the focus being on me due to public speaking. So, I am definitely a focus of their energy, and I get to study it from that perspective.
I found it difficult working with their multitudinous states of mind, and absorbing all their emotional needs. I had to learn how to manage and prioritize their requirements. I also learned a lot about parenting through their children, and what their children needed. In summary, I learned about the human family.
Healthy Boundaries – The Best New Year’s Resolution!
The best New Year’s resolution many of us can work on in 2019 is to create healthy boundaries with the people in our lives. These boundaries don’t have to be all about just creating space or distance between you and a few toxic people and things in your life. It can also include keeping yourself from being exposed to negativity on social media, or avoiding those foods you are intolerant to. In 2019 I recommend we all take a moment to think about the things we do, say, consume, and the people we spend our time with. Whatever it may be that brings us down, or steals our energy, needs to go. And no more people-pleasing.
Dr Seuss says, “Those who matter don’t mind, and, those who mind, don’t matter.” Well, it’s true. Those people who have a problem with you, because your belief system is different from theirs, for example, are absolutely out of line! I have said it once and I will say it again: the world will be a very boring place if we all had the same ideas and way of thinking. Diversity is what keeps our world going. So it’s okay to be different. I am big on keeping it real and being authentic. I refuse to be a conformist.