Love & Relationships
How To Deal With Toxic People
At times most of us have to deal with toxic people. It seems these days they are popping up everywhere in some way, shape or form. We do our best to understand them. And often we make excuses for why we continue to tolerate them. Year after year.
Fact is, some folks just aren’t going to change. No matter how much patience we give them. We may make up excuses for why we continue to share and hold space for them. But it is in vain.
Sometimes it takes a wake-up call from a doctor who tells us we suffer from stress-related illness, such as high blood pressure or anxiety, to make us realize that dis-ease does in fact cause disease.
I have done readings for several women who have told me they have serious health issues and they believe it is caused from the stress they have to endure from co-workers, or the people they have to live with, or those whom they are married to.
I have given lots of helpful advice to my clients in these matters, but I decided to step it up a notch and spend a month connecting with spirit and asking for a good list of items I can share in this blog that could maybe help you too.
Releasing A Toxic Relationship
Many of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.
So many excuses, so little truth.
It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.
It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.
You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.
Manifesting Love
He loves me, he loves me not. Do you find yourself daydreaming about love? Imagining your next partner, what they will look like and when they are going to arrive in your life? Maybe you’re wondering if the person that you are interested in is also into you? Or perhaps you’re simply contemplating your current relationship?
Whatever your current relationship status, I am sure that thoughts of romantic love creep into your mind quite often. So, given that we manifest not only with our actions, but even more so with our thoughts, take heed! Manifesting real, meaningful love isn’t as hard as you may think.
Over the years, experience has taught me that next to money, manifesting love is at the top of the list for most people. We all want a relationship where we feel desired, respected and appreciated. And I just told you that it’s not really that hard to manifest. So why does it seem so hard to come by?
Know The Man, Know The Woman
You have finally met the partner of your dreams. Things are going well. You have been consistently dating for a few months. Your new lover is meeting all your criteria and needs. Your beloved is attentive, communicative, dedicated, steadily employed, loving, and overall everything that you could want in a person.
You have fantasized and visualized ad infinitum that this person is coming into your life and finally, you have found them! You no longer have to endure the dating scene or online window shopping, ghosting and pain. Life is good!
Then my phone rings. The client on the other end of the phone wants to know where things are going with their significant other. “What does the future hold for us?” they ask, “Please tell me what you see.” I then tell them what I feel, see and hear. But I begin by getting to the truth that they are concealing.
The Moon’s Phases Of Love
Followers of Astrology accept that the planets affect the cycles in our lives, including our love lives. But did you know the Moon’s phases, which span roughly 29 days, are each a reflection of a different stage in a relationship?
The New Moon is a broader symbol of new beginnings and is the perfect time to begin something brand new. Try inviting a new love interest into your life, if you are unattached, or if you have a partner, try to take it to another level!
When the Moon is in its Waxing Crescent phase (growing from new), put in some extra work in your love life and build on momentum. It’s also a perfect time for self-reflection and troubleshooting.
At First Quarter it’s time to stop, take a few steps back, and look objectively at your relationship. Do you need to make adjustments? Is this a relationship you really want to pursue?
Finding Your Perfectly Imperfect Partner
All too often single people are guilty of trying to find the perfect person, our better halves, our soulmate match. Unless you have never dated before or are extremely unique, we have all gone through a few relationships that have not worked out. These failed relationships leave wounds in our hearts and scars that come from being hurt. They leave us with lessons carved deep into our souls.
I do not see these relationship experiences as ‘failures.’ I believe they are trials. My mother always used to say, dating guys is like trying on shoes. Not to trivialize dating, but you get the idea? Shoes have to fit well for them to be reliable and comfortable. You don’t buy shoes that don’t fit you, unless you plan on being constantly uncomfortable.
Needing The Love Of A Spiritual Teacher
The love of a spiritual teacher is not human love and this is often misunderstood in our Western culture. Many people are drawn to spirituality because they are profoundly lonely. For those looking for the love of a teacher, you can count on that loneliness to be a profoundly unconscious desire to be connected to the Self and to Spirit.
On a dangerous note, this is how cult leaders thrive, by preying on those who don’t realize they are seeking spiritual love, and by offering a manipulative human love. Human love can never fill the gaping hole, and because cult leaders tend to be sociopaths, it can take years for cult followers to wake up. By then there will be a great deal of damage control needed in order to heal.