Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love

When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.

It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.

Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.

Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.

Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’

She always thought she needed someone to love when all she really needed to do was love the world and let love find her in its time and in its way ~ Kate McGahan

Personal responsibility and accountability is the name of the game, when it comes to cultivating a truly meaningful, healthy relationship. If you are currently single, I recommend you make a list of the things you think a relationship will offer you, and then start working today on creating a lifestyle that reflects those qualities and expectations.

If you think a relationship will bring you happiness, find things in your current life that make you happy. If you think a relationship will bring you love, start loving yourself. If you think that a relationship will make you feel more stable, take steps that allow you to feel stable in your current circumstance as a single person.

To experience the beneficial qualities of a fulfilling relationship, we must first be those qualities ourselves. This is called alignment. Until you are willing to clear out negative patterns and heal old wounds, you will always share your current ‘unhappy’ state of consciousness with the other person.

Even if you have a temporary reprieve, when you meet a new person, through the Law of Attraction you manifested that person to try and fulfill a need, and through the power of your own consciousness you will in time only return to the original ‘seed’ of your state of consciousness.

The process of co-creating is when two people choose to align their past and present states of consciousness to create more of the same. This means that there actually is no blame to dish out. When people regress into their former states of consciousness, within a relationship, they usually blame the other person for it. However, the challenges that they face within the relationship are merely the fruit of the original seed.

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find it them ~ Thomas Merton

The idea that another person can ‘make us happy’ will always create challenging relationship experiences, because this belief disempowers us. By assuming that another has the power over our happiness, would also imply that they have power over our misery. In fact, some single people are already blaming their future partners for their misery…even before they’ve actually met them!

If someone is in a state contrary to love, joy, and peace, and believes that another person can magically bring them these things, then they have already placed the blame of their current condition on their future partners. From a karmic perspective, whatever we give out comes back multiplied. Which means that this form of unspoken blame will eventually manifest into real experience, since this is how the Law of Attraction works.

The only true answer to find the love that you say you really want and deserve, is to align with what you want today, and take personal responsibility for your current state of being. No person, place, event, or thing has any power over your feelings unless you have given it that power. Take back your power and choose to live a life of joy now. Then you will be planting seeds that are sustainable for your future love.