Self-Help
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
Let Your Heart Lead The Way
It is hard to believe that we were all in a worldwide shutdown just a couple of years ago. It has been a difficult and traumatic time for us all, as is always the case with major transition and change.
The global pandemic has played a vital role in transforming the energies in our world. For years, the predominant energy vibration in society has been masculine. We were rushing around in a constant go-go-go mode: egotistically grinding, clashing, and vying for things.
Some of my clients would call me and ask why their friends and relatives have been able to manifest this or that, yet they have not? It was all about comparison, strife, and competition. But our world has since been experiencing a significant energy transformation. With the advent of the global pandemic a lot of changes happened, and very rapidly!
Signs of this energetic shift are now becoming more evident. When I connect with current societal energies, it comes through as much gentler and predominantly female. This is a significant and welcome shift, especially when it comes to manifesting.
Traditionally, much attention was put on thought and the cognitive mind. Manifestation books and programs emphasized how our thoughts, ideas and beliefs function like a magnet to manifest our desires. But what if I told you that the heart is more powerful magnet than the brain?
According to HeartMath Institute Director of Research Rollin McCraty, the heart generates a much more powerful electromagnetic field compared to the brain. “The heart generates the largest electromagnetic field in the body. The electrical field as measured in an electrocardiogram (ECG) is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the brain waves recorded in an electroencephalogram (EEG).”
Cleansing Rituals Are A Vital Spiritual Practice
Energy cleansing should be a key component in our regular spiritual practice. To achieve and maintain a state of higher consciousness and enhanced spiritual awareness, we must constantly aim to purify and rebalance ourselves mind, body and soul.
Purification rituals are traditionally practiced in many world religions and various spiritual traditions embrace tangible cleansing rituals as a way of communing with and manifesting the Divine energy. Water-based rituals of purification are practiced, for example, in the Baháʼí faith, Christianity, Hinduism, Indigenous American religion, traditional African spirituality, Islam, Judaism, Mandaeism, Neopaganism, Shinto, Western esotericism, and Wicca.
It is no accident that animals also clean themselves regularly by grooming their fur or feathers. Nature instinctively understands that ‘cleanliness is next to godliness.’ Mother Nature also cleanses herself throughout the year with changes in the weather and the succession of the seasons.
I’ve never been much or a ritual or ceremony person myself, but I have come to embrace the need for a regular energy cleansing routine as I have grown in my own spiritual and psychic awareness.
For many years now, one of my go-to rituals is a simple spiritual cleansing bath with Epsom salt. I find it is a wonderful practice to realign my energy flow and restore inner peace and harmony. Nothing beats a proper ‘soul detox’ every few days.
Another practice I’ve adopted of late is chakra candle work. I often use these scented candles to jumpstart a client’s cleansing process, or cleanse and rebalance my own energy. The candle for each chakra is infused with its own combination of essential oils. The heart chakra candle is my personal favorite. It’s laced with sandalwood, jasmine, and rose essential oils and really packs a punch!
Focus On Your Own Karma
I often get questions about karma, vengeance, and divine justice from clients when I do readings. Will the haters get what’s coming to them? Will karma finally get my cheating ex? Will my abusive employer get his comeuppance someday? If so, how long will it take for them to feel the hurt and pain they inflicted on me?
When someone calls me hoping to hear that the other person will get their ‘karma,’ it usually relates to a recent incident and they feel like the rug has been pulled from under them – especially when the attack or betrayal was seemingly unfounded. They usually hope for immediate, soul-crushing retribution!
In my own life, I have not experienced such ‘instant karma.’ In fact, true karmic debt is a very slow turning wheel. Expecting immediate payback is a lost cause and a foolish pursuit. Revenge is sweet, they say, but the spiritual truth is that seeking venegeance will only add to your own karmic debt. If someone has hurt or wronged us, the pain will ease over time. Time heals all wounds, even if the scars remain.
The only meaningful ‘payback’ I have ever experienced in my own life, was the times when I received apologies from loved ones on the other side in mediumship readings. Those messages all came from the souls of family members who have completed their life review after their transition. Once we cross over into the spirit realm, we always get new clarity and an expanded understanding of our actions, or lack thereof, and how it has caused harm to others. For some souls this process takes much longer than for others.
This happened to me on several occasions over the years, with various mediums relaying spirit messages of remorse, apologies, and loved ones asking for my forgiveness. In every instance the ‘perpetrator’ had no idea of the impact they had had on me while they were in this life. Some of them also explained that their hurtful actions were due to a learned dysfunctional behaviors and trauma from their own life experiences, especially from childhood.
Spirit Is Like A Lifeguard
I used to work in a Wisconsin tourist town in the early 90s, holding down two full-time jobs to pay my way through college. One of my employee benefits was a free admission pass to all the city’s water parks and other tourist attractions. I rarely had a day off, but whenever I did, I would relish splashing around in those lazy rivers and wave pools with childlike enthusiasm!
A popular feature at my favorite water park was a towering waterslide. At the top sat a lifeguard who would give the go-ahead for you to safely start sliding down, after the slider in front of you had cleared enough distance.
Our spirit guides are kind of like those water park lifeguards.
I remember doing a reading for myself around New Year’s Day 2016, regarding my wishes and goals for the future. I wanted my midlife crisis to be over after my divorce, and I craved to immerse myself full-time in my spiritual work to gain respect and personal fulfillment.
Seven years later, I’m still working on some of those 2016 resolutions, but I have meanwhile realized that Spirit has held me back from achieving these goals earlier in my life, as I had karmic obstacles blocking my progress.
I used to be in a loveless marriage that was a karmic ball and chain around my ankle. For example, when I faced a major health challenge years ago, all my ex could focus on was the economic loss, since I wasn’t able to work at the time. I recall someone in an online support group asking him, “Don’t you love your wife? Then support her!”
How To Access Universal Flow
In the spiritual community it is often said that one must aim to constantly be in ‘universal flow,’ but what does it actually mean? And how can one achieve this state of ‘flow?’
If you personally haven’t experienced this, I can assure you it truly is as amazing as you may have heard it described. It is a blessed state in which opportunities flow in effortlessly, and joy, connection and well-being abound.
Being in flow gives us access to wisdom and understanding in a way we just don’t see when we aren’t riding that divine wave. It feels like one is prepared for absolutely anything in life!
But what exactly is universal flow, and how can you tap into it?
‘Universal flow’ means you are tapped into the divine guidance that is always available to us, and you are in alignment with your path, purpose, and the divine flow of the creative life force. It means that you are tapped into this flow of sacred energy and allowing it to guide your choices and your perception. It is a surrender to the benevolent will of God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, and coming into alignment with to the limitless flow of abundance and well-being in the Universe.
In this state of allowing, the right people, opportunities, and resources can flow into your life, for you to access and make use of as needed. It can provide you with everything you need to manifest your dreams and fulfill your purpose.
Waiting On The World To Change
Waiting On The World To Change is not just a great John Mayer song, it is also a devastating pattern in many people’s lives. Too often people are waiting for some outside force to come along and bring them the happiness and fulfillment they want. Living one’s life ‘on hold’ in this way can become a incapacitating habit that will only serve to make us eternally stuck and unhappy.
When we are waiting for a change from someone or something other than ourselves, we are not taking control of our own power. More importantly, we are also not taking personal responsibility for our God-given free will choices, nor are we holding ourselves accountable for our own actions (or inaction).
We all have that friend who is always saying how great her relationship would be ‘if only’ her partner would change a certain habit, or do something differently. Or that colleague who never gets the promotion, while she keeps blaming others as to why she is constantly overlooked. Or the diseased relative who ‘cannot’ improve her health and wellness, because making better lifestyle choices just doesn’t fit into her busy work schedule and social life.
The worst one for me is people waiting for that amazing soulmate relationship to finally materialize, when they are not making even the least bit of effort to put themselves out there and meet new people.
Some people spend a lot of time constantly setting new goals or intentions, making wish lists, creating vision boards, or doing visualizations or rituals, to manifest the changes they want to see in their lives. But what if the thing they need to change is actually themselves?