Self-Help
When A Relationship Ends
When a relationship ends, no matter which partner ended it, a certain amount of healing and forgiveness is always needed. But people deal with break-ups differently and everyone handles it in their own, unique way. There is no right or wrong way. Some people seem to move on more quickly, while for others it can take months, or even years.
In truth, when a relationship ends it has usually been over for some time already. Some people take years to end a relationship, and often they have already grieved the relationship for quite some time.
It is all too easy to sit in judgment of your former partner, or place the blame solely on the other person. You may have been a really good partner in your own eyes, but what was your part in the puzzle of the relationship? One must look at all sides of the story to truly understand why the relationship did not work.
So, although a break-up is uncomfortable and painful, usually accompanied by lots of tears due to self-examination, your own part in any relationship failure must be examined for your own personal growth.
It’s hard to take a look at yourself and be brutally honest on all levels. For example, you may feel that your gave the relationship 110% percent. Well, truth be told, if you really were the only one giving your all to keep the relationship going, then you most likely also became resentful without even realizing it. Your own needs were probably not being met in the relationship. You started to lose yourself and became only the mirror of the other person.
Mandala Meditation
Mandala is an ancient word simply meaning ‘circle’ in Sanskrit. Mandalas are patterns which range from simple to complex, and are said to represent the Universe and its energies. Varying designs have appeared for centuries in cultures around the world. These beautiful and intriguing works of art can be used in any meditative practice.
To use a mandala in your spiritual practice, begin by choosing one which has special meaning for you, or has a design you personally find harmonious. Many can be found online, in design books, or in color-it-yourself art books. The colors and patterns can also hold intrinsic meanings.
When you have found a mandala you like, use it as a focal point for meditation. State your intent beforehand. While studying the design of your mandala, let your mind stray into the subconscious.
This work is quite similar to candle or crystal work, in that the imagery directs our thoughts rather than the other way around. If you’ve ever found yourself getting lost in the patterns of a tile floor, or the wallpaper in a favorite room, then you’re already well-equipped for mandala work!
Learning To Love Yourself
Sadly, my inner-critic began speaking to me at a relatively young age and continued to do so well into my 20s and beyond. Personally, I feel this played a large part in me losing my job at the age of 24, during the 1980s recession. It was a time in which work was so hard to find, and when I finally did, even more negative self-talk began to have an effect on my life.
With no job and no money, I felt worthless, stupid, disliked, and that I had no potential whatsoever. Most fortunately, however, I proved myself to be wrong and later found, from experience, that the way to a happier, more confident and fulfilled life was by learning to slay that inner critic and start loving myself. Furthermore, you can too! Here’s how.
Firstly, remember that you do have a choice. Which one will you listen to: your inner critic or your inner guide? I remember the time when I told my family I was going to start working in the spiritual field. Yes, they laughed and said to me that it would never work out for me, and I that I could not do it.
Sadly, this boosted my inner critic once again, but at this particular time in my life, circumstances and the need for a more fulfilling job made me look at things from a different perspective.
Changing Your Future
Working with my clients to co-create a future outcome is one of the aspects of doing psychic readings which I enjoy the most. Setting the right intention for a future manifestation not only helps them with the issue they initially consulted me about, but also tends to improve every area of their life.
It is likely if someone carries an imbalance in one area of life, it’s bound to show up in other areas too. For example, if you know someone who struggles in their love life, because they’re always hopping from one relationship to the next, it’s more than likely that person displays the same behavior at work and with many other decisions and choices in their life.
These habitual behavior patterns take hold in our lives for a variety of reasons, including, but not limited to, our childhood upbringing, society, genetics, and our astrological birth chart. However, I don’t believe these patterns fully define us, or that we are permanently bound by them. Whether one is born a saint or a sinner, rich or poor, privileged or not, when a person awakens from the myth of who they thought they were, and stops running away from their fears, they can decide to change their future and allow success into their life.
This is where the magic comes in. The simple act of ‘deciding’ something, even in the face of discouragement, is when we align with the powerful forces of the Universe to co-create the life we really want! I’ve seen this in Astrology, with even the most difficult astrological chart aspects. When someone wakes up, or realizes that they are an unlimited being, their entire world shifts. I’m a firm believer that we come here to transcend our astrological chart, not be imprisoned by it.
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Empaths are givers first and foremost. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed. But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful! But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about. What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.
Finding Inner Peace
Internal peace sometimes eludes many of us. We have busy lives, moving at a fast pace. Some days it feels like we cannot even gather our thoughts in the midst of our obligations. I am sure you already know that you should take some time to relax, and find moments for yourself. You should definitely do this. Having leisure time is important for a healthy life, as much as good diet and exercise.
But this article aims at those times in which the tide is high, and there is no real time to fully stop… at least no more than for a few minutes. What to do in such circumstances? These are a few simple tested ideas that people use in sports, acting, and even public speaking, to improve both their ease and their performance.
Breathing
Stay with your breathing. Stop paying attention to your thoughts and just focus on your breath. Do not try to control or slow it down, just feel it coming in and out. If you can, become especially aware of the moment when it changes from inspiration to expiration, and vice versa. This will bring a feeling of openness and clarity.
Visualization
Sit for a moment and visualize a white light in your heart. See this light grow with each breath, until you are inside a white light bubble. Now this is the important part: allow your body, your whole body, to dissolve in this white light for just a minute or two. After that allow the white light to recede into your heart. This releases a lot of tension from the body and clears the mind.
Humor – A Message From My Guides
We encourage everyone to remember the expression, “Laughter is the best medicine.”
Gossip and rumors abound. People overreact to perceived slights and unintended insults. Hair-trigger tempers flare and social media platforms expose issues for all to see. Friends interject their opinions without all the facts. Disagreements become exacerbated in the resulting spotlight. Politics can be polarizing. Stress levels are through the roof. Road rage is no longer an isolated incident. You can feel surrounded by potential conversational landmines.
At times like this, it is important to step back, take a breath and take a break. Come back to the issue with fresh eyes and determine whether it is truly worthy of consideration and comment, or whether it is a tempest in a teapot that will pass on its own. If necessary, deal with the issue using logic and forethought, rather than high emotion.
In times of stress, seeing the lighthearted side of anything can seem difficult, if not altogether impossible. However, there are some ways that you can soften the impact.
If you can come to terms with the idea of worrying only about those things you can really control and take the necessary action to control them, it will make it much easier to compartmentalize and to choose where to focus your thoughts and resources.