dating
The Inevitable Misery Of Clinging To Your Partner
If you wonder how a life of destruction, misery and unhappiness is most easily produced, then the answer is: through clinging. Whatever we won’t let go of, or ease up on, will eventually choke us to death, or vice versa.
Immediately note here how something in us resists these words. Some anxious, unresolved, threatened feeling rears its ugly head in defiance, declaring we will not release or ‘let go’ of anything or anyone we don’t want to. Ah! But we will, because nothing lasts forever – least of all those relationships we so dearly depend upon, or identify with, for our happiness and survival.
The reason we are often so defensive about letting go of a failed relationship, is because the seeds of doubt have usually begun to sprout, bringing with them a host of trees which bear fruit of uncertainty. We were originally driven by the thrill of a newfound excitement, but that thrill has slowly begun to change into a dreaded familiarity.
With familiarity the edges of contempt soon show themselves in minuscule ways in our discontent. We try to smile more broadly, laugh a little harder, with added sincerity, but the prickly thorns have begun the wear and tear the fabric of our make-believe, bliss-soaked relationship.
Desire always precedes the anxiety of being able to maintain a relationship’s relevant importance. Uncontrolled, unconscious desire changes frequently, without our approval or consent. We can easily recognize it when we have the inclination to change things in other people. Misery soon follows, as we allow expectation to enter the frame of reference, with our subtle demands. No good.
The Truth About Closure After A Break-Up
Symbolism is strong magic. Creating a ritual to achieve closure, when we have suffered a loss or disappointment, offers us strength and healing through symbolism. It is symbolic, for example, to write letters to people who have wronged you in some way. Burning that letter is then a way to start the healing process. Once burned, the energy that is released from your being is the start of healing for you.
Instead, we often tend to run through many a scenarios in our mind. We tend to rehash the past, over and over. We repeat conversations with a former partner, trying to find understanding and closure. But it does not release the pain, for you are talking to them in your mind, and not really having a conversation with them. Depending on the level of trauma you have experienced, this exercise only cements the fact that it was a traumatic experience, with no real closure.
Closure is a word that is too often thrown around without truly understanding its meaning. If you have your heart broken by someone, and do not know the reasons why they had done what they had done, it leaves you in a place of bewilderment. Many people then think that if they can find a more in-depth, or subconscious reason for the break-up or relationship failure, they would be able to close that door once and for all.
Soulmate Love Requires Patience, Hope and Perseverance
Should I wait for him? This is a question I have been asked many times in my work. Especially when there is a deep, strong soul-to-soul love, with a sense of eternity and meaning to it, this question naturally arises when such partners are parted.
The answer, I find, is within. It is not a matter of should or shouldn’t, good or bad, right or wrong, nor even a matter of the outcome. It is a matter of heart. And it is a very individual choice.
An intuitive reading can support, but not substitute the process of discovering such a personal choice. As an empathic intuitive, for example, I can offer you a description of the energy I feel around your relationship situation, to provide you with information that may help you discern. I can also support you in trusting your own heart, and then in moving forward accordingly.
But the ultimate answer always lays within your own love and desires. From my experience of love in separation, I have learned that the path of patience, if chosen, will call for a profound degree of it, along with several stepping stones of spiritual qualities and concepts to uphold it.
Love between souls is a spiritual exchange. It steps back and views the beloved through the lens of eternity. It sees the individual spirit soul – the birthless, deathless being within – who is on an evolutionary journey, passing through human experience in this world.
Express Yourself To Make Your Relationship Work
In some cases, the grass is actually greener on the other side when it comes to relationships. And the reason for that? Well, they simply take better care of their lawn! With that said, I would like to come straight to the point. Relationships are hard work; they are not for the timid, lazy or faint-hearted.
Relationships have many levels to explore, and there is usually much trial and error involved. We all expect a fair and honest relationship, characterized by love, mutual understanding, devotion, passion, happiness and fulfillment of our dreams. We all look for growth, improvement and change, as well as commitment and certainty, and yet, there is always the unknown in the equation.
The ‘unknown’ is everything about a relationship we have yet to experience with the other person, in different settings and circumstances. So, how to deal with the unknown? In my daily work, I too often hear the following: “I told him that some time ago,” or “She should know that about me by now.” Well, to know something about another person, and the actual understanding of this information, can often be two very different things. You and your partner may have a different understanding.
So, if you were expecting your partner to consider your birthday or anniversary plans without telling him exactly what you had in mind, he will no doubt disappoint you – unless he has the gift of telepathy! How is he supposed to know what would you make happy?
A Sweetening Ritual To Rekindle Your Love
The traditional love spell is a metaphysical practice that is ill-advised and extremely selfish, because it aims to influence and interfere with someone else´s free will. This is never a good idea. The endulzamiento or ‘sweetening’ ritual, also known as a ‘honey jar spell,’ is a better and safer alternative.
A sweetening has similar aims as a love spell, but its mechanism is very different. It is a simple act that seeks to attract higher, more positive energy to your relationship. It´s about finding a better way for both you and your partner. It aims to improve communication and find the best in each-other. In essence one can describe it as ‘kindness magic.’
A sweetening not only enhances positive feelings and attitudes in the relationship, but also seeks to remove all negative feelings and attitudes. For this reason, a sweetening is always considered to be a good metaphysical strategy when difficulties and conflicts are causing damage in your relationship.
Execute a sweetening when you feel you need to save your relationship, or when you want to reawaken the feelings and get the renewed attention of that someone special in your life.
Many people forget what a passionate, intimate, warm and satisfying relationship is like. I have seen many couples wear themselves out with routine, complacency, getting stuck in a rut and taking each other for granted. In time it leads to boredom, emotional exhaustion, unwanted tension, and conflict at every turn.
As it happens gradually, we typically do not notice the decline of passion in our relationships, and we get used to living with a second-rate version of our original love. That initial loving feeling tends to grow cold with the passing of the months and years. A sweetening ritual is the perfect recipe to recover the nature and quality of that original relationship.
Are You Living An Unexamined Life?
According to Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This statement is very powerful, yet it has a very simple meaning. What you do not change, does not change you. When your actions remain the same, so do the results. If you cannot examine the things that are eating at you, the things that have gone wrong in your life, and even the things that have gone right, nothing changes.
We must look at our life and go behind the mask that we may be wearing, to cover up the fact that we are vulnerable inside. There are often so many aspects to our life that requires change in order to move forward to a better place.
For example, are you repeatedly settling for the same type of person as a partner and find it constantly failing? Are you going to a dead-end job day in and day out, that you hate so much that merely entering the workspace already makes you despise the day before it even starts? Do you look in the mirror and see things about yourself that makes you miserable?
Take off the mask of pretension and make an effort to change what isn’t working. Examine why you keep repeating the same patterns.
If you are ending up with the same type of person every time, ask yourself why? Are you trying to meet someone in the same way? Are you settling for someone that is not all that you would like, but feel it’s better than to have no one at all? Are you compromising on what you want? If they are not what you seek, cut them loose. They are not going to suddenly change.
The Truth About Long-Lasting Relationships
The fact that we struggle to navigate our romantic relationships remains a topic of never-ending debate. Many of us are involved, entangled, enmeshed in some type of complicated, and sometimes confusing, relationship. Whether these relationships are satisfying or not, our mental, physical, emotional state is usually somewhat determined, or at least influenced by the nature and health of these precarious unions.
Many of us involved in some form of romantic relationship, often feel the constant tug and pull of its nebulous contradictions and challenges. Though the words are not always verbally expressed, the ensuing tension often results from a lack of intimacy that can only be created through authenticity and open communication.
Most people, however, interpret sexual closeness as the culminating epitome of true intimacy. But unless one is also able to openly communicate and authentically connect on other levels, even the most dazzling sex life will fizzle out eventually – and often sooner than later.
Sex alone never sustains a meaningful, long-lasting relationship! No matter how exciting or mutually satisfying it may be. Using sex as a clear, reinforcing sign that a relationship is going to endure, is never a reliable barometer.