Love & Relationships
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them.
Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself.
Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance.
Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
The Sweet Nectar Of Romantic Relationships
The energy of the hummingbird brings immense wisdom to be shared with us. When he appears it is always such a treat, as I have learnt so much from this amazing bird, including about love and romantic relationships.
When the hummingbird comes into my life asking to be painted, my vision blurs. I can then only see my artwork clearly and the brush strokes needed to finish his painting. I have learned that sometimes our own vision needs to become blurred, so that what we are seeking can be shown to us.
I have also learned that the ‘narrowed vision’ of hummingbird is vital to the health and vitality of our relationships, especially those of a romantic nature. When we keep our focus firmly on the present moment and the feelings we share with our partner in this moment, rather than on the negative thoughts, concerns or expectations, we blur out the noise.
This allows for a breaking away from the old energy patterns and lack consciousness that too often govern the roles played out in our relationships. It allows for a simplicity to arise in the communion and communication with our partner.
The hummingbird gathers nectar from the flower through its power of focus and natural instincts. It trusts its own innate nature to choose the flowers that will nourish and feed it. Finding trust in our own feelings and intuition is important, so that our relationships are nourished and allowed to blossom from within.
Crossing Over Into Unconditional Love
Is my mom okay? Is my dad still in pain? Is my friend trying to speak to me? Is my grandmother proud or ashamed of me? Does my husband forgive me?
These are just a few of the many questions that I am asked by bereaved family members and friend, when they lose someone dear to them.
Firstly, it is important to understand that we are all spirit with a temporary physical body. And we have free will in how we choose to live our lives. Some of us choose to be kind and giving, while some are abusive and filled with anger. It is not our place to judge each other, simply to know that free will was a gift given to us before we came into this current physical body.
When I am asked these questions, the initial part of the answer is always going to be the same. The person that you lost simply left their physical body behind; their spirit never faltered.
When someone crosses over, no matter who, or how, the moment of crossing is always met with pure love. Their angel reaches out a hand and when they touch the light shows them that there is nothing to be afraid of.
They instantly know that the place where they are returning to is a place of light and harmony. It is a place of pure, unconditional love. Hate disappears, hurt or pain disappears. There is no shame, not disrespect. And there is only unconditional love for those that remain here on earth waiting for our turn to join them.
The Powerful Bond Of A First Love Connection
I think we can really feel the intensity of true love the most when we are young and experience falling in love for the first time. The feeling is so strong and all encompassing.
When love takes over everything in the world just feels so much better. The grass is greener and everything is perfect and good, in a way that words simply cannot express. If you fall madly in love with someone, and you are really lucky and get to have and hold that love, it is even more profound and deep-seated.
I was fortunate to experience this once. It happened while I was working as a bagger at a local grocery store. I stood up, after stocking the paper bags, and suddenly locked eyes with a wonderful soul. He obviously felt the same way, because he returned with his phone number that he had written on a small piece of paper for me.
We had a wonderful romantic relationship for nearly four years. He ended up finishing medical school several states South from where we initially met. Despite my fear of flying, I did fly down to see him once. I also took my Tarot cards and did a few readings for him. The ‘Death’ card kept popping up, but I kept reassuring him that it usually means ‘transition’, and not to worry, no one is going to die.
He came home for a family visit a few months later. I was sitting at his parents’ pool in the back yard, where he grew up. I suddenly sensed something terrible. I had this overwhelming and ominous premonition that someone in his family was going to die. Being so connected to him, I felt that it wouldn’t be him, but his brother. I felt very strongly about this. Seeing him playing his guitar, so alive and happy, I could not begin to imagine losing him.
Understanding How Men Fall In Love: Mind, Body & Soul
What makes a man fall in love head-over-heels? When does a guy go from casual interest, to “I want you in my life.” Maybe it’s timing. Maybe he’s been waiting for someone like you. Or maybe you’re way ahead of him.
But from what I’ve seen in thousands of psychic readings over the years, what really flips that switch is chemistry and connection. The way you look into his eyes. The way you listen to him like he’s the only person in the room. How you make him feel, and that sense that, in his arms, you belong.
It is not true that most men are obsessed with looks only. While an attractive appearance certainly helps to get things off the ground initially, this is not what men stick around for in the long term.
Some men are drawn to personality. Some to your kindness and tolerance towards others. Some are drawn to the way you think. Some to the scent of you. Some to that feeling that life without you would be boring. Sound familiar? Yes, the truth is, men and women want a lot of the same things: feeling important, wanted, accepted, appreciated.
A man will bond with you when he feels he can make you happy. When he knows you accept him fully. When he feels seen. Even the parts he hides! Because when he knows that, he gives himself to you: heart, mind, and soul.
There’s another myth that men like sassy women who “play hard to get,” as so often portrayed in Hollywood romcoms. That’s not it at all. What he does like is a woman who is secure in herself, who laughs easily, who keeps her own life going, who has her stuff together (not perfect, just real). And yes, attractive to him. But more than looks…she has backbone, presence, a rhythm of life.
Are You Desperately Seeking Your Soulmate?
As a psychic reader, I often deal with questions about love and relationships. Many clients ask about meeting their soulmate, twin flame, or special life partner.
A dear client once told me how desperate she was to find her soulmate. She said she wouldn’t be happy until she met him, as she believed he would complete her.
But Spirit did not respond with a simplistic prediction or quick fix. The message was clear and direct: she would never find a man to complete her. Instead, she would have to find happiness and fulfillment from within. Only after she accomplished this would she be able to find lasting happiness in a relationship.
I gave her some things she could do to help her and I was later thrilled to get an email from her telling me how thankful she was. She was looking to all the wrong things and people to give her the happiness she so desired.
She then asked me the right question and I was so happy she remembered! How could she connect with her true beloved?
I remote viewed and explained where I saw him and felt it was someone from her past and how she could find him by simply not looking, and we discussed many different things about this person.
She never realized it, until I finally mentioned to her, that this was her best friend that she had been in touch with for many years. They had had their ups and downs, but as I explained, even the best of marriages are like roller-coaster rides. It is not the easy connections that we gain the greatest amount of soul growth from. Instead, the relationships that aren’t easy are the ones that you become wiser from and gain the most wisdom from.
The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’
I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.
He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.
After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.
The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?
Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?