self-empowerment
How To Overcome Negative Thought Patterns
There are times when one may be feeling very serene, and completely at peace with ourselves and the world. One may even be feeling highly satisfied with the spiritual growth and personal healing you have accomplished thus far. Then, quite unexpectedly, you lose your sense of alignment. You suddenly feel ‘disconnected’ from the source of our being.
This feeling is especially triggered when one feels overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, or the constant demands of others. And once we slip into this negative state of mind, many deeply buried, unpleasant memories tend to emerge in our consciousness in the form of haunting ‘flashbacks.’
I recently heard a friend referring to this experience as cognitive distortion. We can so easily begin to catastrophize, and expect the ‘other shoe to drop,’ once our anxiety level becomes this amplified. The mind is powerful and under these circumstances we tend to indulge in a lot of ‘what if’ thinking. The mind races, imagining all the worst case scenarios as potential outcomes.
This kind of catastrophic thinking typically takes our mind into two directions. Firstly, it puts a truly negative spin on the current situation. And secondly, it causes us to anticipate all the many, many things that could possibly go wrong in the future.
Polarized thinking is another problem for some of us. This thought pattern is when we only see things in terms of right or wrong, and this can lead to setting unachievable standards for ourselves and others, as well as send our stress levels through the roof! Polarized thinking crops up when we find ourselves basing our hopes and expectations on, for example, getting that dream job, impressing other people, finding our soulmate, becoming famous, and so on.
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
The Power Of Your Totems
Those of us who are metaphysically inclined often believe in the power of carrying a sacred object, symbolic item, or ‘totem.’ The totem is worn or kept on one’s person for various purposes, including healing, protection, guidance, or support.
This spiritual practice is known as Totemism. It is a system of belief in which humans are said to have a mystical relationship or kinship with a spirit-being, such as an animal, plant or symbolic object.
Believing in the power of a ‘totem helper’ gives one the kind of spiritual self-confidence that can make the difference between success and failure. Actually, I wear on my person a medicine bag in the Native American tradition, which contains various totems or ‘alliances’ I have found in nature.
Some of them were gifted to me, because they resonated with my energetic frequency and “wanted to be with me,” as friends and fellow metaphysicians have stated through the years. It is our custom to save special things of this nature for gifting to each other, especially at sacred times of the year, such as when we celebrate the solstices.
Right now, I am surrounded by all of these charming personal offerings. There are the great horned owl feathers that were gifted to me, for example. I used it to make a prayer stick, that I now make use of during meditation, and sometimes also as an altar piece. In the tradition of Totemism, I consider it to be part of a living being, which is the altar. Indeed, every altar has its own ‘being-ness,’ the same as any other sacred deity.
My Catalyst Moment
Over thirty years ago, I faced a major crossroads in my life, and it became a monumental turning point. It was the catalyst moment that ultimately led me into full-time service as a psychic oracle and healer. I did not choose this path – it chose me. And today, I am beyond grateful for this calling.
In those days I had just about everything you can imagine to make me ‘happy.’ I was a highly successful, special risk broker for a prominent insurance company in London. I was one of only two women at the time to hold that distinction. I also attracted and owned all of the opulent trappings of success that came with such a distinguished position – the material things and luxuries our culture teaches us is supposed to make us happy and fulfilled.
I was proud of my work and had plenty of interesting things to do every day, both socially and professionally. But there remained persistent doubts and questions. Is there something more? Why wasn’t I satisfied? Why did I feel so restless and discontent?
You see, I knew, deep in my heart, I was not living the life that was calling me. And, boy, was it calling! It woke me up in the middle of the night. It created a lot of agitation and self-doubt. Why was I feeling this way? Is there something wrong with me? I even started questioning my sanity. I had everything I thought would make me happy. So, what was lacking? Why did I keep feeling that there was something missing? And, where would I find it?
Showing Up When Spirit Calls
Many years ago, while working in a clinical practice, I was called to lead a group of women who were survivors of domestic abuse. At that time, my role within the organization was strictly administrative. I had no clinical experience and quite frankly had serious misgivings about how well these women would be served through our agency’s poorly-funded, piecemeal program with severe limitations.
As we were on the verge of losing our contract altogether, the executive director burst into my office one morning and announced that I would be the interim director of the domestic violence program, in order to save the contract. I sat motionless, with a look of deep concern on my face.
Before I could respond verbally, my executive director began reviewing a county contract that outlined the qualifications of the new program director. As she flipped through the pages of the lengthy contract, my hope was that somewhere in bold writing there might be a job description that required a clinical background in Psychology or Social Work, but this was not the case.
I recall that same day reaching out to my dear friend and confidant, a fellow psychic and spiritual counselor who always helped me find clarity, especially when I felt completely lost in a situation. While my friend’s words were comforting and reassuring, she also shocked me out of my comfort zone. I wanted to hear from her an easy way to get out of my new job assignment, but she announced that I had a calling to help a group of women whose lives desperately needed to be changed.
The Transformative Power Of Gratitude
The act of giving thanks is a transformative one. When we live in gratitude, our energy vibration becomes elevated, and this positivity spreads outward like the ripples in water. If you’ve ever heard of paying it forward, this is the same idea! Gratitude changes lives – both our own and that of others.
Being appreciative and giving thanks to others, to the Universe, to the Earth for its sustenance, raises positive energies which will in turn come back to us.
Sometimes being grateful can feel like a chore, or something we need to pretend feeling. Every one of us experiences hardship and adversity. Life’s challenges sometimes get even the most grateful people down. The best way to flip that into something positive is to make a list of gratitude statements, in your mind, aloud, or in your journal.
Are you grateful for your friends, family, your health, the beauty of nature? Maybe you’re simply thankful you were able to get up this morning, when many other people were not.
Make this process one from the heart. Feel the positive energy. After a while, it will become an uplifting habit, and your body and mind will start to enjoy the positive rush of feelings. Let this routine be the first thing you do in the morning, and the last one you do at night before sleep.